


The Rule of Two

by DunmerLover



Series: Rissu Rattigan's Adventures With and Concerning Kylo Ren [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Anal Beads, Anal Sex, Angry Kylo Ren, Apprentice rivalry, Beheading, Bullying, Canon Divergent, Did I mention this relationship is not entirely healthy, Dominant Kylo Ren, Everyone Has Issues, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Feelings, Gags, Hatred, Hazing, He can compromise, I never said this relationship was entirely healthy, Implied consent play, Kylo Ren in Love, Light Dom/sub, Male OC is an asshole, Master/Apprentice, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Illness, Nipple Piercings, OC-centric, One really gory death, Oral Sex, Original Character Death(s), Outdoor Sex, Pillow Talk, Porn With Plot, Possessive Kylo Ren, Post TFA, Post-Canon, Punishment, Really OC-centric, Referenced lightsaber fucking, Riding Crops, Rivalry, Rough Sex, Science, Self-Harm, Self-Insert, Semi-Public Sex, Sex, So many OCs, Some very happy stormtroopers, Spanking, Submissive Female, Suicidal Thoughts, Violence, background OC relationship, mild exhibitionism, referenced violent sex, shameless self-insert, so much of it, workplace bullying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2018-12-05 01:25:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 16
Words: 48,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11567406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DunmerLover/pseuds/DunmerLover
Summary: Just over a year has passed since Kylo Ren took on his apprentice, and under him she has already started to become a lethal weapon. Things couldn't be going better for either of them, however when Kylo decides to take on a second apprentice, the events that follow serve as a stark reminder to everyone involved, as to why there can only be two.(Any new tags or characters will be added as I go)





	1. A Punishment

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome back to the self-insert thing I started writing because I love Kylo Ren too damn much, and started uploading in the hope that other people liked it. Sometimes you have to let these ideas out of your head to relieve pressure (that's the excuse I'm going with for making this thing public).
> 
> This is a continuation of a story that I wrote before called _Wish You Were Here_ which tells the story about how the main character of this story came to be Kylo's apprentice. I didn't intend to keep going with it when I started it, but these things happen. I GUESS this story will make sense if you haven't read the first one, since it's a whole new plot? It's hard for me to say.
> 
> Also the events here take place post-TFA so I guess it's definitely going to be somewhat canon-divergent by default? But I'm gonna make an effort to try and put everyone in situations that would make sense. But since this story is far removed from the canon plot I guess it doesn't really matter.
> 
> Anyway please enjoy.

The apartment door hadn’t fully opened before Rissu slid in, holding a small, nondescript box, keen to avoid being seen by anyone. As soon as she was in, she locked the door and rushed to the bedroom, kneeling at the foot of the bed. She hated herself for what she was about to do, nevertheless, she still put the box on her bed, and opened it. This was something she had to do. 

She was going against direct orders. This was nothing short of betrayal, and she knew it. Gods only knew what her master would say if he found out. 

Rissu surveyed the contents of the box, silently thanking the stormtrooper who’d managed to source them for her, when her datapad bleeped. The girl abandoned the box in favour of reading the message. It was from Braide, one of the new lieutenants, and only contained one sentence. 

_Rattigan, Commander Ren is looking for you._

That meant she didn’t have much time. He didn’t say _why_ Kylo was looking for her, but that was hardly unusual - there was a whole world of reasons he would want to see her. There was no way he could possibly know what Rissu was doing. And that’s the way it was going to stay. 

_How much time do I have?_

She chucked the datapad back on her bed and reached out with the Force, trying to find her master. Since she’d begun training under Kylo Ren, Rissu’s reach had extended tenfold from when they’d first met. Which meant that since she couldn’t currently sense him, he was probably somewhere on the other side of the ship. 

She knelt by the bed and turned her attention back to the box, reached in with trembling hands and pulled out the first strip of fried chicken. Still hot. Whether it had been heated up again, Rissu didn’t know or care. She raised it to her lips and took the first bite. 

“Oh, _fuck_ …” she gasped, enjoying the rich taste, savouring how juicy the meat was, swallowing it down. “That’s good…” 

She’d forgotten just how good it was. Rissu proceeded to stuff the whole strip in her mouth, then, ravenous, reached back into the box for the fries. She couldn’t help herself, it had been far too long. She ate fast, in part because she didn’t have much time, and in part because she lacked control. Before five minutes had passed, she’d put away the whole forbidden meal. 

_Oh, fuck. That was_ so _worth the trouble_. 

After that, Rissu stared down at the breadcrumbs that littered the empty box. She had to get rid of this right away, she had to destroy the evidence. No time to relax. She picked it up and left her apartment, rushing through the winding corridors of the Finalizer, keen to be seen by as few people as possible. Since her master had forbidden her from eating outside of a strict list of foods when on board, Rissu knew she’d be in trouble if he somehow found out. She reached out often, careful to try and avoid being anywhere near where she could feel him. 

She found an inconspicuous refresher off a quiet corridor, entered the ladies’ room and threw the box in the trash. She couldn’t possibly find a better place to dispose of it without chucking it out an airlock herself. And even then… she’d still have to log her use of the airlock and explain what made it necessary. 

_There… it’s done_. 

Her mission complete, Rissu left the 'fresher as though she’d done nothing out of the ordinary. She walked back along the path to her apartment, giving a shy nod of greeting to those she met eyes with on the way. 

Once back, she leaned against the door and breathed a sigh of relief. Everything would go on as normal now. She felt guilty for disobeying Kylo, of course she did. He didn’t put these rules in place for fun, he was protecting her from herself. Teaching her self-control. But it was a one-off, the girl reasoned. She’d never done anything like that before, and never would again. Plus, he didn’t have to find out. No harm done to anyone. 

He _was_ looking for her though. So Rissu decided to stay put, her apartment was the first place he’d think to look. Until then, the girl grabbed her lightsaber off the table, took to the middle of the living room, pushed one of the couches aside without touching it, and began practicing forms. The weapon remained deactivated, of course - it only took her two weeks to discover that activating it in the apartment was a disaster (and a surprisingly large amount of paperwork) waiting to happen. 

Eventually Kylo Ren arrived, letting himself in, and Rissu turned around when she heard the door open, weapon held halfway through an arc in both hands. Her master stood there somewhat ominously, and when he removed his mask, a wicked grin crossed his perfect features. He looked at the girl as though he _had_ caught her in the act as he dropped the helmet on the table, and stalked over to Rissu. She wondered if somehow he knew. That was impossible though - she had her thoughts closed off entirely most of the time. 

“Hey, you… I heard you were looking for me,” Rissu said, breaking the creeping silence between the two of them. She put her arms around him lovingly, rested her head on his deep chest, and looked up to meet his gaze. “What did you want? Everything okay?” 

Kylo raised a hand and stroked Rissu’s hair slowly. 

“Rissu…” he said warmly, still grinning.” Is there anything you’d like to tell me?” 

_He knows_. 

Her thoughts might not have been transparent enough to give her away, but the way she visibly faltered easily could. “No… why?” 

He raised his eyebrows, staring her down with an amused expression. He tortured her with an uncomfortably long silence. 

“Did you think I wouldn’t find out?” he said eventually. He grazed gloved hands down the girl’s shoulders, down to her upper arms, and gently eased her away. 

_Oh…_ shit. 

“You disobeyed my orders Rissu. You already know there’s consequences for that.” 

As Kylo crept forwards, Rissu backed away. He backed her through a door frame, into the bedroom, and kept on going. He kept backing her further and further into the room until her legs hit the foot of the bed, and she stopped moving. He stopped too. 

“What will it be?” he purred. He reached out behind him without looking - the closet door crashed open and a black riding crop flew into his waiting hand. “Once for every time this idea has crossed your mind? How many would that be?” 

“Seven,” Rissu answered honestly, her heart racing in excitement at the mere sight of the crop. 

“Or I could hit you once for every calorie in your meal. How many?” 

He had a knack for using her biggest fears against her. “Twelve-hundred… and ninety-five.” 

Kylo grinned cruelly again, and swatted the tip of the crop into his left hand. The fake leather of the former met the real of the latter with a loud, ominous crack. 

“We can meet somewhere in the middle. Take that off.” 

With the crop, Ren gestured to Rissu’s uniform. Without saying anything, the blond unhooked the thick belt around her middle, and it fell to the floor. She unzipped her jumpsuit and let the flowing, dark material pool around her feet, leaving her in only her bra and panties. She stood to attention. 

“Good girl.” 

Kylo reached out slowly with the crop, and traced gently down the girl’s clavicle, down her ample chest, and down her middle, making her skin tingle and her pussy grow hot. He stopped as the whip met the lace of her thong and gave the area a sharp tap. Rissu jumped. 

“You know what to do.” 

They’d done this enough times for her to know exactly what to do. She turned around and knelt. Her covered breasts brushed against the bed covers as she settled her knees to the floor. She rested her head on both hands and waited, still, for her punishment. She was relieved that of all the things Kylo could’ve thought up, _this_ was her punishment. 

She heard her master stalk closer, felt the rough brush of his robes against her bare thighs before he moved away. She felt the leather of one large hand caress the swell of her toned ass, and she arched needily into the touch, and then all too soon, it was gone. Her cunt throbbed and he’d barely touched her at all. 

She gasped as the crop smacked her ass fiercely for the first time. 

She closed her eyes. “One.” 

She didn’t have to be told to count. Her skin stung where the crop assaulted it. He wasn’t gentle. He was never gentle. And that was just how she needed it. He struck again with a brutal energy. 

“Two…” 

Rissu gripped the bedsheets under her head as she rode out thirteen more strikes, fearful anticipation creeping over her in between every one of them. She knew he was enjoying this even more than her, she could feel his lust in the air as though it was a hanging vapour. The sound of the crop eventually falling to the floor told her he was finished, and that hand grazed lovingly over her ass again, softly stroking, massaging, soothing the hot, burning flesh, fuelling her own desire further. 

“Turn around.” 

She obliged, still kneeling, and watched her master unzip his pants and pull out his cock, already hard and throbbing. With his other hand he stroked Rissu’s head again. She didn’t need encouragement though. She leaned forwards, so close her mere breath on Kylo’s dick made him shudder, and gently wound a hand around the base of the thick organ. She squeezed him gently. The leather-clad fingers wound into the girl’s fair hair balled into a fist, pulling her head back a little, and her master’s whole body stiffened in anticipation. She looked up at him through false eyelashes with a heavy lidded, lustful gaze that made his cock twitch again. 

“Look at you, Rissu…” he breathed, gazing down at her adoringly. “I love you _so_ much.” 

She beamed up at him. She didn’t return the sentiment in words, she’d _show_ him how much she loved him. Rissu returned her attention to the gigantic cock she was still caressing with one hand. She ran her tongue across her lips, making them wet and ready. She’d arrived on this ship a novice at this act, and Kylo had taught her everything she could ever need to know. She teased, running her tongue ever so lightly up and down his shaft, savouring the way Ren’s breathing became so laboured by her light touch. She was the one who made the fearsome Commander crumble. _She_ did this to him, and after all this time, that was a thought that still drove her wild. 

He moaned slowly when Rissu slid the head of his cock past her lips, and she tasted his precum on her curious tongue. That grip on her long hair only grew stronger and stronger the more of him she took into her mouth. Her lips almost reached the base, and she sucked enthusiastically as she came back up for air, tenderly caressing his balls.

“ _Fuck_ …” 

Kylo’s breaths were ragged as he cried out in perfect anguish. He bent over Rissu and placed his hands on the bed, either side of her, consumed by the feeling of her tongue lavishing over his wet length. He closed his eyes, growled through gritted teeth, and grabbed his apprentice by the hair for a second time and forced her onto him again. 

“That’s it… _so good_ …” he gasped as her lips and tongue worked him with care. 

Still holding her roughly, Ren began to move his hips, thrusting more of his cock down Rissu’s throat, desperate for release, right on the edge. The girl struggled for air but carried on with more enthusiasm than ever, wanting nothing more than to satisfy the man bent over her, sucking, licking any part of him her tongue could reach. 

“Oh, Rissu…” Kylo sighed. “I… I’m gonna… Rissu I’m gonna…” 

And he did. With a final long, anguished moan, he emptied himself in Rissu’s mouth. She moaned around him, unable to form proper words as she swallowed her master’s release. As she came up she gave a few final licks, before the grip on her hair eventually released and turned back into gentle stroking. 

Kylo stood up straight. “That was good,” he said simply, fastening his pants. “Really good.” 

Rissu got up too, beaming again as he scooped her up and finally kissed her. 

“Five miles.” The man turned away and sat on the edge of the bed. He grabbed his apprentice’s datapad. 

Rissu’s eyes widened and her jaw fell open in disbelief. “You fucking kidding?” 

“It’s a punishment,” he replied matter-of-factly. “You disobeyed me, and I’m punishing you.” 

“That’s _so unfair!_ You can’t-” 

“I’m reserving a treadmill for you now.” 

Rissu huffed in annoyance as she got up on the bed. “Oh, come _on_!” 

“Another word about it and I’ll make it ten.” 

She opened her mouth to retort but quickly decided against it. The wasted air was released as a sigh of defeat. “You’re lucky I love you so much, ‘cause you’re an _ass_ , Kylo.” 

Kylo looked up, and raised an eyebrow as he met Rissu’s eyes. “That’s not nice,” he said, voice laden with sarcasm. 

“Sorry… you’re an ass _sometimes_.” 

“That’s better.” 

Rissu’s eyes narrowed. “How did you even find out, anyway? I was covert as _fuck_.” 

“You might have pulled everything off perfectly, but of _all_ the stormtroopers I could come across on my way back to you…” 

_Of course._

“He made it very obvious he was hiding something from me. You’ll be pleased to know he didn’t give you away gladly.” 

Rissu exhaled slowly. She found it hard to care whether she was given away or not. All she could think about was her punishment. There was no way out of it.

“What did you want anyway? You were looking for me.” 

Ren put the datapad down and leaned over his apprentice, a hand grazing over the curve of her waist, sliding up her chest, to her shoulder. He pushed her back so she was lying on the bed as his body pressed against her. He kissed her slowly, but fiercely. 

He broke away, and gazed into the stormy blue of Rissu’s eyes. “Captain Phasma and I have been discussing your progress,” he said. “We think you’re finally ready.” 

Rissu’s face lit up. For a moment, she forgot all about her punishment. Kylo could feel her glowing. “To help out with stormtrooper training? You _serious?_ ” 

Kylo nodded once. “I’m serious. I think you can hold your own. However your combat skills are still a ways off… so you need to prove you can keep yourself safe from harm. Show us we aren’t making a mistake.” 

The girl sighed in frustration beneath her master’s huge body. “I’m trying,” she said. “I really am.” 

“You’re from an academic background, no one’s expecting you to be an expert in combat right away.” 

“I know that, it’s just… it’s been a _year_ , Kylo. It’s been _more_ than a year.” 

“And for a complete novice to come as far as you have in one year… better than anyone imagined.” 

He kissed her one more time before his perfect lips travelled further down, on her neck they addressed a smattering of bruises, bite marks and hickeys in various stages of healing - kissing, licking, threatening to leave more. Rissu’s core burned with hot desire. She could feel him stir again against her leg. 

“Change your perspective, Rissu. Try not to be so hard on yourself all the time.” 

He kissed the mound of one large breast, and pulled aside the cup of her bra. He sucked her nipple hungrily. Rissu threw her head back and moaned openly, bringing both hands up to Kylo’s head, threading fingers through his raven hair, hugging him closer to her chest. She could’ve gone crazy when he pulled away. 

“Besides… what you lack in skills with a saber, you make up for in other areas.” 

His beautiful brown eyes flicked up to meet hers. 

“Fuck me,” Rissu said. “Please fuck me.”  


He continued to stare her down. “Five miles,” he repeated. “Go, now." 

He then got up off his apprentice, and sat on the edge of the bed. Rissu was beyond arguing. 

“Fuck me afterwards? Please?” 

“I won’t be able to keep my hands off you,” he replied dryly. “Now _get going_. I won’t tell you again.” 

Reluctantly, Rissu swung her legs off the bed and got up, ignoring the pounding between her thighs. She crossed the room, pulling workout clothes out the closet. 

“In your uniform, Rissu.” 

The blond huffed again, halfway through squeezing into a sports bra. She pulled a face at her master, moodily threw the vest and sweat pants back in the closet, and dressed in the black jumpsuit that was discarded on the floor. After pulling on her boots, fastening the belt back around her middle and scrubbing the make-up off her face, she finally made to leave. 

“Mask!” Kylo called after her. 

She turned around, aghast. “Oh _come ON_ , that’s just not reasonable! That’s too far!” 

Kylo got up and picked Rissu’s helmet up from her dresser. He held it out for her to take. “Troopers run further than that without breaking a sweat. In _their_ masks. Now put it on.” 

Rissu’s indignation was growing into a creeping feeling of dread. 

_The sooner I get this over with_ … 

She tied her hair up quickly and took the helmet from her master, jamming it on her head. She looked up at him, but he couldn’t see her glowering. She left the bedroom and crossed the living room, making her way out of her apartment. 

“Tell me if it was worth it!” her master called again, grinning when Rissu flipped him off without looking back, and then she was gone.

*

Forty-five minutes and five miles later, Rissu pulled off her mask, gasping for air, barely able to stand on shaking legs. Heads turned her way again, staring at her obvious suffering while she splashed cold water on her burning face, and gulped down as much as she could. She’d been getting funny looks the whole time she’d been in the gym - people on board the Finalizer were more than used to seeing her working out, but never before had she done it in full uniform. Admittedly her gasps and wheezes must’ve sounded strange coming out of the vocoder. No one questioned her though. 

_Fuck them. Fuck them all_ , Rissu thought darkly to herself. She focused on the sound of her heart pounding in her chest. 

_Let them stare_. They _aren’t the ones who were made to run five miles in full uniform! I’ll suffer as loudly as I damn well please!_

At least it was finally over, never to be repeated. As she left the gym, walking back home through bare, sleek black corridors with her helmet under one arm, Rissu decided that what she’d done was certainly not worth the punishment. 

So lost in thought, Rissu never heard the footsteps jogging up behind her, getting louder and louder, and never sensed the officer coming closer and closer. She jumped into action when the hand grasped her shoulder, she swung around and instinctively aimed a punch at the assailant’s stomach. Luckily, her friend reacted just as quickly, dodging the blow, blocking Rissu’s fist and pushing her back defensively. The Force-user’s eyes widened in realisation. 

“Shit, Gibby… you jumped up on me,” Rissu said. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think! I just reacted!” 

“Geez, aren’t you guys meant to be able to sense us coming?” Gibby asked, releasing Rissu’s fist. “Or has all that training been a waste of the Commander’s time?” 

Rissu shook her head, her face still dripping with a mixture of sweat and drinking water. ”Distracted,” she said. “I’ve been _punished_.” 

Gibby frowned, her green eyes narrowing, as she continued walking along the quiet corridors. Rissu caught up to walk by her side. 

“Is that why you were running in your helmet?” 

Rissu nodded. Gibby knew how much she hated to run. 

“What for?” 

Rissu could sense her curiosity. There were no secrets between the two of them. She had only to ask. Officer Gibson was the first friend Rissu had made within the First Order - one of the first people within the First Order she’d even _met_ , and indeed one of her best friends in any part of the galaxy. 

“ _Your_ idea.” 

“Which one? I have many ideas, Rissu, I’m full of them.” 

“The one that involved getting a stormtrooper to sneak food in for me. It didn’t work- I mean… it _worked_ , but he found out. It was your idea so I’m blaming you.” 

“Hey, you didn’t have to do _anything_ , don’t start blaming me in front of the Commander - I _do_ want to live to see tomorrow, you know.” 

Rissu smiled. “Kylo would never kill you, not if I had anything to say about it. You could probably run naked across the bridge and get away with it.” 

“There’s no way I’d _ever_ run naked across the bridge, Rissu!” 

“I know, I know… Can you imagine the look on Mitaka’s face though?” 

Gibby’s cheeks flushed. “ _Rissu!_ ” 

The blond grinned. “C’mon, we both know he’s into you. You’re not the one who hears what he’s thinking when you’re around. I dunno why you don't just go for it if you like him back...” 

The pair talked all the way back to the Force-user’s apartment, where she punched in her door code and let Gibby in. As she put her mask down on the table, she realised her master’s was gone. He must’ve gone back to his own apartment. She went to the kitchen and opened up a cupboard. 

“Here,” Rissu chucked a snack over to where the brunette had slumped on one of the two couches. “Want anything to drink?” 

Gibby shook her head while Rissu began to peel the damp, sticky jumpsuit off her body. 

“You can start the movie without me, I need a shower.” 


	2. Be Aware

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What better use of time when you're sick than writing nonstop, huh?
> 
> I had this idea in my head and I really liked it, and I think it translated all right into a chapter.

As the Command Shuttle finally touched down on a remote stretch of land, Rissu unbuckled herself from the safety belt in the co-pilot’s seat. She was still tense from the journey, but she no longer felt a sense of sheer relief when they landed safely. She was more confident in her ability to help fly the shuttle these days, and it no longer took her by genuine surprise when the pair of them didn’t crash and die at her hands. But then again, Kylo did most of the work. 

Almost as if in response to her thoughts, Kylo Ren’s gloved hand reached over and closed over the top of her bare one, squeezing affectionately. He couldn’t hear what she was thinking these days, it was probably her stiff posture that gave her away. She looked over to her left and they met each others’ gaze through eyeless visors. 

“Good work,” he said encouragingly, before releasing himself from the pilot’s seat. The pair left the shuttle together, empty-handed. They left everything they’d brought on board with them right where it was - this was a training exercise, after all. 

The ramp descended, and when Rissu stepped onto the sand and grass beneath, the humidity hit her like a crashing wave. 

“Oh, fuck…” she said in surprise. Her mask kept the worst of it away from her face, but she could already feel her jumpsuit sticking to her skin with an uncomfortable layer of moisture. She looked up at Kylo, who had joined her on solid ground. He lowered his hood, and the ramp behind them disappeared. “Where are we again?” 

“We’re on Baroonda,” Kylo said. He looked out to the distance, to the far-away sea that sparkled despite the overcast sky. “Specifically, Baroo.” 

He turned and started walking in the opposite direction. Rissu followed, walking quickly to keep up with his long strides. She looked around, the beak of her mask turning this way and that. They appeared to be walking through the middle of a massive canyon. Pale rock faces loomed over them on either side. As she craned her neck to look up at their grassy peaks, Rissu suddenly felt smaller than she ever had in her life. 

The salty smell of the sea air faded the further downhill they walked. The air became musty, as though someone had kicked up a cloud of dirt. 

“Where are we going?” Rissu asked. Her modulated voice bounced off the rock faces on either side. 

“I’ll know when we get there.” 

The words echoed back to the girl again and again. Kylo would say that on occasion when they went planetside to train, and would proceed to seek out the perfect spot - like an animal building its nest, for whatever activity he had planned. Like every time, the apprentice was curious. 

After about thirty minutes of walking, they descended underground through a huge tunnel. The shade seemed to make the humid air feel less oppressive, yet it was still formidable. Rissu lived her whole life in the same cold, crisp atmosphere until a year ago, and she found it hard to adjust to warmer climates, even if for only a day or two. Due to his own commitments - to the First Order and to the Knights of Ren, Kylo hadn’t yet been able to take her planetside for any period of time much longer than a standard week. However, when they did make longer trips, he had been kind enough to take her to climates more like the one she was used to. 

Around them, and under their feet, were sturdy brown boulders and rocks of all sizes. Some were as small as a human head, and others the size of the average bedroom. Above, the tunnel broke away in places, letting in thick, dusty beams of light here and there. 

“We’re walking along a podrace track,” Kylo said, several steps ahead of Rissu. 

The girl was covering ground much more slowly than she’d have liked. Coupled with the humidity, it was an effort to comfortably navigate the rocky path underneath. With that new knowledge, she suddenly felt rather uneasy. “Is that such a good idea?” 

“Try not to question me, I know what I’m doing,” the muzzle of his mask turned to face her as he stopped moving, letting her catch up. “This circuit’s been abandoned for years, we’re perfectly safe.” 

He turned away again and continued moving. 

“My grandfather used to race,” Kylo said suddenly, not looking back. 

“Really? Darth Vader used to race?” Rissu repeated. It seemed like she was learning something new about her master every day. Now that the ground had levelled out, she jogged a little to close the distance between them. “I didn’t think humans were able to do that.” 

“Force-sensitive, don’t forget. He was very powerful.” 

The tunnel eventually gave way to the outdoors again, the canyon was a little wider here and the rocks were a little smaller. They littered the landscape as though they’d been deliberately shoved aside at some point to create a path. They probably had, Rissu pondered, since this was a circuit once. She watched her master climb them as though it was the easiest thing in the world. After he’d scaled a few, he turned back around and squatted where he was, staring Rissu down. 

“Catch me,” he said simply. 

The apprentice only stared. “That’s _it?_ That’s what you brought me here for?” 

Most of the time when Kylo trained her in an entirely physical manner, it was sparring. More often than not, there was _some_ sparring involved. Her strength and physical training was almost entirely the responsibility of Captain Phasma. 

“You sound confident. I hope you deliver.” 

“No, really, I wanna know. What’s this about?” 

“Just try and catch me, Rissu.” 

She put aside her curiosity for the time being, and started to climb the rocks, just as Kylo had. Nowhere near as strong or athletic as him, Rissu had a hard time of it right from the beginning, but still, she persevered. The looming feeling that this was some trick still played in her mind, and made her wonder whether she was even meant to be climbing after her master, chasing him in such a direct way. Or whether there was still more to it than what there seemed to be. 

Predictably, as she drew close, chest already heaving from exertion, Kylo moved away. He jumped down to a lower rock and waited, ready. Again, Rissu caught up to him, and again, he climbed away. Maybe it really _was_ a simple chase he wanted. 

Rissu panted as she surfaced again, her body felt all too heavy already. “Take off your mask,” she said, as evenly as possible between gasps for breath. “You’re too gorgeous to be covering your face like that.” 

“Why don’t you take it from me yourself?” 

She smiled, and her efforts doubled. She’d take that damned mask off his head even if she broke an arm in the process. She didn’t know how long she chased her master for, along the rocks and along the winding canyon path, she was having a surprisingly large amount of fun, following his every leap and drop, chasing him from one side of the canyon to the next. 

Perhaps that was Kylo’s intent. Of course he wanted her to feel pain, that was one of the ways they grew stronger with the Force. Forcing herself to suffer willingly was probably the biggest adjustment for Rissu. She worked out hard for years before becoming Kylo Ren’s apprentice, but she never suffered to the extent that she did under him. She still had trouble with it. She wondered whether turning the exertion into a game was his way of making it enjoyable. 

Rissu was surprisingly close to getting her hands on that mask. He was making it easy for her, but she didn’t care. She grinned in a predatory way as she prepared to make the final leap that might seal the deal, when the world around her exploded into tremors and deafening noise. It all happened too fast for her to register, her insides threatened to burst from the thrumming inside them, and three pods tore past in quick succession. Rissu made to jump out of the way, her master caught her before she fell, holding a protective arm around her chest as she stood there trembling against him, stiff as a board, and the thrumming engines eventually diminished into the distance. 

“Wh- what the fuck was _THAT?_ ” Rissu cried. She looked up at Kylo, who had barely reacted at all to the sudden presence of the pods. “You said this was an _abandoned_ circuit, Kylo!” 

“I did say that.” 

Against his chest, she could sense that even his slow heart beat hadn’t risen the tiniest bit. It was almost as if… 

The girl released herself from her her master’s hold. “You knew… you knew they’d be here!” Rissu said, behind the mask her eyes were wide with shock. “You trying to _kill us_ or something?” 

“ _Always be aware of your surroundings_ ,” he replied, unfazed. “That’s today’s lesson.” 

She stared, dumbfounded for a few seconds, before finally breaking into a fit of laughter. Kylo stared on. 

“It was never about catching you, was it?” she asked when she eventually calmed down. 

A shake of the head, once to each side. “Don’t EVER stop feeling out your world through the Force. Don’t let yourself become distracted, not by me, not by _anyone_ you trust. Not even for a moment. That one moment…” 

He gestured out with one arm, and another two pods passed by in the blink of an eye. Rissu sensed them coming that time, now heeding her master’s warning. It didn’t stop her being scared as they approached at such speed though, and didn’t stop her cowering into the rock behind her. 

“...Could cost you your life, my apprentice,” he finished. 

Rissu looked at Kylo curiously. Why had he brought her all the way to Baroonda to learn that lesson? She opened her mind to her master, and he took the thought from her. 

“We have reason to suspect you’re being targeted for attack,” he explained. “Recent intel on the Resistance has been normal except for one thing - they seem to be trying to learn as much about _you_ , as they can.” 

That sure wasn’t what she was expecting to hear. “They want to… kill me?” 

“They won’t succeed as long as you remain _aware of your surroundings_. This is important - I don’t want to lose you.” 

Rissu was silent for a while, humbled. It was with a chill shooting up her spine she realised things were becoming serious. From then on out, she’d have to work as hard as possible just to stay alive. 

She leaped forwards without warning, throwing her hands up to Kylo’s head, gripping hold of where she knew the latches were on that mask. She could sense he was startled as he stood there, still, staring at her, and she grinned wickedly. 

“I got your mask,” she said, still giggling like a child. With a click and a hiss, she pulled it off his head, drinking in the sight of Kylo’s perfect face as though it was the first time she ever saw him. He gazed fondly down at her while he took the mask from her hands and dropped it on the rock below. He smiled a little. 

“I suppose you should be rewarded…” 

He reached under her own mask and removed it, dropping it next to his. Rissu breathed the fresh air deeply, still staring adoringly into her master’s brown eyes. 

Suddenly he grabbed her by the back of the head and pulled her in for a fierce kiss. She submitted right away, throwing her arms around Kylo’s neck, opening her mouth to let him in, tongue meeting his for longer than either cared to think about. His other hand came around her waist and pulled her body against his. 

He broke away, turning Rissu around and pushed her against the nearest rock, hands still exploring her every curve as he reached around her middle and pulled her belt open. Rissu turned around a little to look her master in the eye. 

“ _Here?_ ” she said, shocked. “The pods will come back, they might see us!” 

“As if that isn’t _exactly_ what you want,” Kylo replied, pushing Rissu back down on that rock and unzipping her jumpsuit. He reached inside, fingertips sliding over pale flesh until they reached her breasts, squeezing hungrily, grinding his hips into hers, his strong body pressing her against the rock. The girl moaned weakly, arching into the touch as skilled fingers found her nipples and began to massage them to attention. He was right, she wanted it, she wanted him so badly. 

“Please…” Rissu sighed. She bit back a moan when Kylo began to play with the metal in her left nipple. She needed him _right now_. 

All too soon, his hands were gone and his weight on her relented, and she heard him unfasten his pants, before he was on her again, teeth at the back of her neck, replacing marks that had begun to fade. She couldn’t hold back any longer - she keened loudly, the sound echoing back to them in the canyon. Her master’s throbbing erection ground into her lower back before he pulled aside her panties, positioning himself at her wet entrance. 

Kylo eased inside, revelling in the way his girl moaned for him, the way she pushed her hips back into his, desperate to take more of him. 

“You _want_ them to see us…” he continued through laboured breaths, beginning to move his hips evenly. He pressed his body against hers, bent over her possessively, leaning his forearms on the rock on either side of her delicious form. 

Rissu scrambled to keep a hold on the rock underneath her, Kylo’s breaths came hot and heavy in her ear and it sent a warm shiver through her as he rutted into her over and over. As if on cue, several pods shot past at once, each gone as quickly as they came, the only evidence they were ever there was the dirt and sand they kicked up. She _did_ want them to see. 

“I do…” Rissu sighed. “Oh gods, I really do.” 

“You want _everyone_ to see…” He said into her ear, as he pounded into her forcefully, hardly able to speak evenly from both exertion and pleasure. He inhaled her scent until he felt giddy. “ _Fuck_ … You want the whole galaxy to watch me fuck you!” 

“Yeah… I do!” Rissu moaned. She bit on her own arm to keep from crying out as her master angled every expert thrust into her G-spot, quickly bringing her close to the edge. His thrusts became faster, harder, his teeth worrying her neck and shoulders became more cruel. 

“You wear these marks like a fucking badge of honour!” Kylo growled. His delicious, deep voice was wavering noticeably. “You want EVERYONE to see what your master does to you!” 

He fucked her so viciously, so frantically, it was a wonder either had held out this long. Rissu whimpered in response. 

“Yeah… yes… I do…” 

Tears welled in her eyes as she began to twitch and thrash, it was one final, fierce nip in the crook of her neck that sent her over the edge. She wailed into the flesh of her own arm, shuddering, forgetting where she was, her whole world shrunk to the total of her and Kylo Ren as her nerves burned up in perfect fire. Her hot cunt throbbed around his dick, and Kylo couldn’t hold out any longer. 

“Tell me I’m your master,” he demanded. “Call me Master, Rissu!” 

She was far from done. “MASTER!” she howled between the cries of her orgasm. “MASTER!” 

It sent Kylo over the edge. “Yes, I’m your master, I’m your _fucking master!_ ” he whimpered into her neck as he was consumed by his own climax, a guttural sigh escaped him as he pumped his load inside his apprentice. The pair breathed as heavily as if they were still chasing each other along the rocks as his brutal thrusts slowed, and stilled entirely. 

They both stayed where they were for a while, each bathing in the way their bodies seemed to hum as climax left them, feeling themselves and each other glow. 

Rissu felt the energy around her change, despite the still air, as though someone had dropped a stone in a lake and she was feeling the resulting ripples. A distant wash of shock and fear from what felt like many people. Her master’s embrace became tighter, in an intimate way. 

“Did you feel that?” he asked. He always sounded so peaceful in the moments after sex. 

Rissu nodded. “It was one of the pods, wasn’t it?” 

“Mmhm.” 

“Then… then there were eleven, I guess…” 

*

*

“Scream for me, apprentice…” 

She did. With Kylo pounding her further into the bed with every ferocious thrust, with one strong hand tight around her throat and the other hooked behind, leaving scratches all over her shoulder blade as deep as his short nails could, those words and the feral look in his eyes was all it took to finish her. 

“Master…” she whined quietly, unable to speak properly from the pressure on her windpipe. “Master- fuck- Kylo- oh gods-” 

Rissu screamed bloody murder, over and over. Kylo didn’t silence her, it drove him wild to hear her, see her being torn apart like this, by him. He was frenzied in his movements, if anyone walked in their hotel room now, they might think a vicious assault was taking place. As she came she spasmed around Kylo’s cock buried in her pussy, and around the beads in her ass. It was all too much, she was _certain_ this time that the intensity would kill her. 

She didn’t have much time to worry. Eventually she came down from her own climax, her body limp, now all that mattered was him, and he followed her quickly. Kylo roared in pleasure and emptied himself in her depths, shuddering, until he finally stilled, his breaths coming heavily. Finally he eased off her windpipe and Rissu breathed deeply. Her master rolled off her, slipping out of her as he did. His release slowly leaked out of her, onto the bed, and Rissu curled up where she belonged, in Kylo’s waiting arms. 

“How could I _ever_ deserve you, Kylo?” she said, her face buried in the crook of his shoulder, breathing in the scent of him as though it was the last time she’d ever get to. “You’re… _you_ , and I’m… this.” 

“We’ve been there before,” he said simply. “There’s no point going there again, you won’t listen.” 

“It’s still kinda hard to believe you could ever have wanted me.” 

He wrapped strong arms around her back, knowing words were useless here. He understood this because he was often the same way about one thing or another, and he’d driven Rissu to tears on more than one occasion because she just couldn’t help him. That’s the way it was, and words were useless when he was in that state. So he didn’t bother trying with her, and somehow he knew Rissu didn’t need him to make a show of trying. She would never think she was good enough for him, and that’s how it would always be. 

“What did you think of me when we first met?” she asked, not opening her eyes. 

He sighed gently. “You _know_ I don’t remember you from our first meeting.” 

“No, I know, I mean the first time we _properly_ met. On board the Finalizer. What was your first impression?” 

“That I’ve had whores who looked more subtle.” 

Rissu opened her eyes, and a bitter look crossed her face. “Wow, thanks Kylo,” she said, untangling herself from his arms and getting out of bed. 

Kylo followed her to the edge of the bed and sat there. His dark eyebrows came together in confusion. “What’s wrong?” he asked. “You asked me a question, don’t ask it if you don’t want an answer.” 

Rissu huffed, and she playfully hurled a pillow at her master’s head. “I know, but you didn’t have to be so… _honest_. That shit hurts.” 

Ren caught the pillow and held onto it. He stood up. “What were you expecting me to say? You’ve _always_ dressed to stand out and it doesn’t bother me, it’s part of what makes you who you are.” 

“It’s not _that_ \- I mean, we were having a nice moment there, and you come out with… _that_.” 

She picked up a cushion from the couch and threw it. As he caught it, Kylo understood. He grinned. “You’re… jealous?” 

He chucked the pillow back at her, and Rissu batted it away. The other came shortly after, which she caught. “Maybe.” 

“Look, Rissu,” he began, taking the girl gently by the shoulders and guiding her back down on the bed. He knelt over her, stroking her pale hair. “It’s what we do at war. It’s a bad idea to get attached.” 

“You’re attached to me.” 

“I never said that was a good idea, it’s just how things are.” 

“I know, but…” 

“Know that since I met you it’s only been you.” 

Rissu already felt somewhat stupid for reacting the way she did. He was right. They both came with a history that meant nothing any more. She smiled warmly up at him, her eyes tracing over the scar across the right side of her master’s face. “Just… a little more tact next time, yeah?” 

“We’re just as bad as each other,” Kylo said eventually, lying back down beside his apprentice. 

“Yeah, we put up with each other.” Rissu chuckled, arms returning to their place around Kylo’s muscular body. She said nothing for a while. 

“When we first met, I’d never seen anything as beautiful in my whole life,” she finally said. She could feel her master glow a little, even if he didn’t move at all. She looked out the window, from their room they had quite an incredible view of the landscape far below, and the ruins in the distance, even if nightfall was fast approaching. “And you could take me to every known planet in the galaxy, and I’d still never find anything as perfect as you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So who remembers _Star Wars: Racer?_ \o/
> 
> I just loved the scenery in the Baroonda stages and wanted to do a chapter that took place there, and I wanted to involve racers somehow. The humidity was just what I imagined it would feel like but honestly I have no idea.
> 
> There was a BUNCH of stuff I left out of this chapter. I was gonna return to Finalizer for the last part but that's all gonna be the next chapter and the whole thing will just have to be 1 chapter longer. It doesn't really belong at the end of this one anyhow and I think this is an all right length, I'm all right with where I left it.


	3. Kedd Sinclair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I don't know how I feel about this chapter. I feel like it's pretty dry compared to a lot of the stuff that's come before it and that I have planned, but I really wanted to introduce this character sooner rather than later, and I wanted to establish what life might be like for Rissu. There's a lot of talking. But it's not super long, and things pick up again after this though.

With two wrapped sandwiches in one hand, and clutching her datapad in the other, Rissu stopped at the apartment door and knocked. General Hux wouldn’t be in there, Rissu knew. He was still working, and she’d seen him on the bridge only an hour before. It was probably for the best, she decided, since he didn’t like her one bit. For that reason she was keen to avoid him as much as possible. It never felt right to be in his apartment, given how he felt about her, but here she was anyway. 

A small, circular red light above the panel blinked away, and a green one took its place. The door opened. The Force-user entered, and her friend’s almond eyes flicked up. She knelt on the living room floor, surrounded by flimsiplast diagrams and taking notes on a datapad. 

“Rissu!” Kedd Sinclair beckoned her friend over, and she knelt down at her side. “I could use your help. Do you remember the categories of shock?” 

Rissu straightened up, alternating her attention between Kedd and her diagrams. Her confusion was obvious. “You mean there’s more than one? I thought it was ‘just’ shock.” 

“Well, yes, there’s more than one,” Kedd replied. “It’s okay, I’ll get my textbook.” 

With that, the raven-haired girl stood and made for the bedroom, leaving Rissu momentarily alone with the diagrams. She bent over and looked at them, biting on the ring in her lip without realising she was doing it. These were things she’d studied herself, once, but still she may as well have never seen before for all she understood. 

Kedd returned with two holobooks. She knelt down again, and narrowed her eyes as she looked at Rissu. 

“Do you even remember the _symptoms_ of shock?” she grilled. 

“Uhh…” Rissu began. She stared at the opposite wall, mouth open in anticipation of the answer that would never come. Kedd grinned, flashing perfect teeth, and returned to her notes. The blond learned long ago that Kedd liked to bounce information off her whenever she got the chance. It seemed to help her study. 

“You don’t remember _anything?_ Really, you’d have made a _terrible_ doctor.” 

“Yeah, it’s probably for the best I dropped out of med school,” Rissu said. She started up her own datapad. “I’d probably have ended up killing more people than I do in _this_ job.” 

She held up one of the sandwiches. 

“I got your _favourite_ ,” she said in a sing-song tone. “ _Plain cheese_.” 

“Thanks Rissu,” Kedd said. She reached over and took the sandwich. “You went to the caf?” 

Rissu nodded. “I can’t eat there,” she said after a pause. “I never feel as lonely as when I eat there.” 

“You feel lonely?” 

Another nod of the Force-user’s head confirmed this as she started to unwrap her own lunch. 

“You have me,” Kedd said. “And you have the Commander. And Gibby. You’ve got people here who love you, how can you still feel lonely?” 

“It’s like… we live so close to so many people… I feel kind of… _isolated_ , you know? I should be making friends here. Especially seeing as I’m gonna _be_ here for years.” 

“I see where you’re coming from… I didn’t start making friends here until I started training.” 

Rissu recalled that that was how _they_ met. She wound up in medbay after an accident during a training exercise, and Kedd - working in medbay and training as head nurse, was tasked with keeping an eye on her at any time Kylo Ren wasn’t by her side. Rissu remembered very little after the painkillers kicked in, but would later be told she alternated between gushing over Kedd’s incredible good looks and perfect body, and telling a string of incomprehensible jokes. It would seem she wanted to make Kedd laugh. After the drugs wore off the pair continued to bond. Kedd quickly found they had a lot more in common than she first thought, and the pair remained friends ever since - much to the displeasure of her own partner. 

“You don’t make an effort with anyone though,” Kedd continued. “Maybe you’d make friends if you reached out more.” 

“And maybe they’d shoot me down if I reached out. Why wouldn’t they? I’m a piece of shit, you know that better than anyone.” 

“And maybe they’d see what you refuse to see in yourself.” Kedd was stern, her brown eyes fixed on her friend’s. “Maybe they’d like you. Either way… you won’t start connecting with people until you do it. I know it sounds scary but it’s your only option.” 

Rissu pulled a face. She knew Kedd was right, still, the thought of approaching anybody terrified her. The two ate and studied in silence for a while. 

“People avoid me though,” Rissu said. “You can’t deny that, you’ve seen them do it.” 

“Has it occurred to you that people are a little scared of you?” 

“Because I’m a Force-user?” 

“Well… yes.” 

“But that’s stupid.” 

Kedd shrugged. “It might seem stupid to you but you’ll never see it from their perspective. Even _I_ was scared of you before I met you. Before I got to know you.” 

Rissu shrugged noncommittaly. 

“Before you arrived, our only real experience of Force-users was Commander Ren…” Kedd continued. A spark of fear permeated the air as she said the name. “And I know your experience of him is different, but you can’t deny he’s quite frightening when he gets angry.” 

_Frightening isn’t the word I’d use_ , Rissu thought to herself. She wouldn’t tell her friend that she’d hung around on occasion upon hearing her master had lost his temper again. Rooms and corridors that had since been cleared of fearful bystanders. And she’d watched him, with a mixture of affection and lust, as he took his anger out on whatever he could find, just like the first time she ever saw him. 

But that was her. “You’re saying people are scared of me because they think all Force-users are like Kylo?” 

“I’m saying you need to prove you’re _not_ like that. People see that lightsaber on your belt, and… it’s a threat to them. How are they supposed to know they won’t be on the receiving end of it just because you’re having a bad day? The Commander’s done that before.” 

Rissu couldn’t deny that her friend was perhaps right. 

“People are still afraid to talk to me sometimes,” Kedd continued after a while. Still knelt on the carpet, she straightened up and stretched her back. “Getting on my bad side means getting on Armie’s bad side… and that doesn’t end well for anyone.” 

She grinned. Unlike Rissu, Kedd loved the power that came from her relationship. “But… you don’t _have_ a bad side, Kedd.” 

“It’s still a risk - you know how protective he is of me. And the Commander’s the same with you. Everyone knows you’re an item, and yet nobody knows what sort of contact with _you_ might rub him the wrong way. Sometimes it’s best to keep a distance.” 

As Kedd studied, Rissu closed her eyes and meditated. She flushed her mind and tuned in to the energy coming from the pure being sat next to her. Probably her imagination, but she could practically hear the neurons firing, feel the understanding come in small sparks. She tuned into her memories as Kedd compared her theory to the patients she’d seen in medbay. 

She reached further out, feeling the distant mass of activity in some lower part of the Star Destroyer, and the closer, but more sparse activity in the surrounding apartments and corridors. She could sense someone familiar coming closer. He approached with purpose. 

Sure enough, when the door slid open, General Hux strode in. He scooped his partner up in his arms, and when Rissu opened her eyes, she saw him brush aside thick jet black bangs, and plant a kiss on Kedd’s forehead. 

He let go, and made for one of the couches without addressing Rissu at first. Once settled, he lit a cigarette. “Come here, Rattigan,” he said sharply. 

Rissu responded with the same punctuality and professionalism as if they were still on the bridge. Her tuition concerning military tactics didn’t necessarily end there. She stood at the back of the couch. “Sir.” 

“Look.” He held up his own datapad. Rissu leaned over the couch, skimming through the report while she tasted the pungent fumes. “Reconnaissance has confirmed the presence of a Resistance base on Yannr.” 

At the mention of her home planet, Kedd looked up. 

“Why do you think the Resistance would establish themselves on Yannr, Rattigan?” 

Again, Rissu was stumped. 

“Well… _we’re_ allied with Yannr, right?” she asked. “Maybe they’re trying to scope out our relationship with the government?” 

“Wrong,” Hux said simply. Ever afraid of the man, Rissu stiffened. “We _do not_ know why they are there, and we _cannot_ afford to make assumptions.” 

“So… you’re gonna investigate?” 

“Naturally. How do you think we could go about that?” 

“Uh… you could contact the Yannric government, get them to find out what’s going on… you could plant a spy, maybe?” 

“Both strategies are acceptable.” 

“But if you planted a spy… that could give us an edge when we come to take the base out.” 

“Precisely.” The general looked remotely pleased. “That will be all.” 

Rissu nodded. “Thank you sir.” 

A bleep from her own datapad caught her attention. She opened up her messages to find a briefing from Captain Phasma. She scanned the message. 

“Felucia, huh,” she said to herself. “Never been _there_ before.” 

Kedd looked up again. “Is that stormtrooper training?” 

“Yeah, tomorrow. First thing.” 

She shut off the device. “I should get some practice in,” she said. “I’m sure I can find some poor sap to shoot a blaster at me for a couple of hours. See you later, Kedd. Thank you General.” 

With a final hug from her friend, Rissu was gone. It was a matter of seconds before she was back in her own apartment since she shared a corridor with the couple. When she was in, she pulled off her jeans in favour of something more practical, grabbed her lightsaber, and left for the training room. All the while, her heart fluttered with excitement at the thought of what she would be a part of tomorrow. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How Kedd and the General met is a whole other story (though be it a short one), and I kinda want to write it. I'm gonna be making references to how they met in later chapters but no major details, because the details aren't necessary to THIS story.


	4. Stormtrooper Training

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay in getting this out. I've been busy with some other creative stuff. Two of my friends are expecting imminently and one of them is having a baby shower and I didn't really know what to bring to one so I made them both teddy bears. It kinda takes up all my attention when I sew. And then suddenly 2 bears became 3 because now one of Mum's colleagues wants to buy one. Not to mention work's been particularly hectic so I've been quite exhausted most of the time (I do the bulk of my writing when I have at least 2 days off in a row and I haven't had that for a while).
> 
> And also I didn't really like this chapter! I wasn't happy with it for a long time because I had such high expectations for it in my head, and I didn't really trust my ability to do the idea justice. Kind of like how I felt with the activities that happened in chapter 2. Also I lost momentum while I was trying to find ways of saying things that sounded right for Captain Phasma. I planned on having a longer chapter here that involved the stuff that the end of this leads onto, too, but again I decided to split that up. Kylo (and smut) returns in the next chapter and _maybe_ gets a little possessive. _drools_

“Rescue the prisoner, get back to the ship.” 

Rissu repeated it to herself for the hundredth time, under her breath. Captain Phasma’s mask jerked up quickly, facing the girl. Rissu could tell she was irritated - over an hour in transit, listening to that same mantra over and over, of course she was irritated. She’d been irritated for a while. The shuttle trembled a little as it entered the atmosphere, and everybody swayed a little in their seats. “Rescue the prisoner, get back to the ship.” 

In a nutshell, that was her role in this training exercise, and the stormtroopers’ task was to stop her. It was her versus the squadron, and now that it was actually about to happen, she was admittedly more than a little nervous. 

She felt the shuttle touch the ground, but only unbuckled herself from the safety harness when her superior did from her own. Rissu joined Captain Phasma and three other officers as they waited for the ramp to descend, and when it did, followed them all off the shuttle. 

Rissu wondered whether she would ever get used to humid climates like this one. Stepping out into the clearing of a vibrant jungle, she almost found it hard to breathe. She took a look around, up at those odd, gigantic, twisting plants that looked somewhat analogous to the coniferous trees of her home planet, and that was when it occurred to her that this was the first time she’d been planetside without Kylo Ren. No matter how much she trusted the Captain to look after her… she certainly felt out of her depth. 

Then she decided that a woman of her age shouldn’t need her superiors to ‘look after’ her in a new environment. Especially a Force-sensitive one like herself. She looked over her shoulder, watching the woman in chromium armour conducting business. She’d never thought to ask, but surely Captain Phasma couldn’t be _that_ much older than Rissu. And she was _running_ the operation - Rissu was a mere tool. How old must the Captain have been when she began leading others to new, strange planets? With that in mind, the Force-user felt pretty sheltered. That had to change. 

Besides, her master believed she could look after herself on Felucia. That was almost enough for her. 

She stood alone at the shuttle’s ramp, awkwardly, nervously. What was she supposed to do now? The very air thrummed as the Landers arrived, one by one, and before long the clearing was filled with white armour, and buzzing with a silent energy. The GA squadron - or what was left of it - took formation right away. Rissu would’ve guessed there were about two hundred ‘troopers there. Masked heads turned to her every now and then. Rissu could sense they were curious - about the exercise, and about her. 

“Rattigan!” 

The Captain’s sharp voice made Rissu jump. 

“Come here.” 

She obeyed, clutching her lightsaber tight in both hands at her thigh, fidgeting nervously. They stood in front of the squadron, and waited in silence. 

It was only a few minutes before the Captain’s attention returned to her com. She gave a hum of satisfaction, indicating to Rissu that everything was finally in place. They could begin. The Captain stepped forwards, and if any ‘troopers weren’t already stood to attention, they all were now. 

“GA squadron,” she began. She started to pace, and the Force-user’s eyes followed her the whole time. “You have not been briefed on the nature of your mission today, and you may be wondering why Rattigan has joined us. Despite there being very few of you left, you remain one of our oldest and most experienced squadrons. You are among those that have been chosen for training in a new specialty.” 

She stopped moving. 

“Apprentice Rattigan has volunteered her time to show you what it takes to engage a Force-user in combat. Do not underestimate what a valuable opportunity you have been given - you _will_ be engaging Luke Skywalker eventually, and Rattigan’s power does not compare to his. 

“Your task today will be similar to training scenario eleven. The prisoner is being held in a unit - the co-ordinates have been sent to each of you. Instead of working in two teams, this time you will all work against Rattigan. You must come together to prevent her getting to that unit.” 

Rissu smiled at the ‘troopers before remembering her face was obscured by her own helmet. 

“Do not _seriously_ injure Rattigan when you incapacitate her. She is the property of Commander Ren, and must be treated with the same care as anything else that belongs to him. That being said, do not go _easy_ on her either. This is training for her as much as it is for you.” 

After that, one of the officers gestured to Rissu, and led her away into the depths of the jungle. They walked for about twenty minutes, the Force-user feeling the presence of the GA squadron ebb away with each step she took, and upon looking into the officer’s head, Rissu knew he was choosing a spot at random to leave her. 

“Good luck Rattigan,” the officer said after stopping beneath a towering plant that was brown and withered - obviously dead. The Force-user watched him as he turned and walked away. The ground squelched under his boots with his every step. Suddenly Rissu felt vulnerable. She was afraid. 

“Wait!” she called out, and jogged to close the distance between them. The officer turned back, blond eyebrows knitted together in concern. “Stay with me, please. I’ve never been alone on any planet before - besides Druemer.” 

“Oh… I don’t know if I should,” he said. Rissu looked into his thoughts and saw his concerns. It wasn’t against protocol for him to stay. He was concerned for his personal safety. 

“I won’t let you get shot at,” she said. “I just need you to stay with me until I can feel the squadron again. I don’t wanna get lost.” 

The man sighed quietly, to himself. “I’m not allowed to help you in any way. I won’t tell you where to go.” 

“Of course! I just need moral support.” 

They waited a minute for the signal. A bleep from Rissu’s com told her she was free to begin her search. The girl looked around her, no better off after she did. How would she find that unit, and the prisoner? 

Rissu reached out as far as she could, trying to feel for someone. _Anyone_. She decided she could sense the faintest presence of someone in the opposite direction, so she set off like a bloodhound following a scent, and the officer followed reluctantly. 

“What’s your name?” Rissu asked him, not looking back as she strode across the damp ground. 

“Kro,” he replied. “So… just so I’m clear on this, Rattigan… you want moral support in case you get lost… so I’ll be lost _with_ you?” 

“Uh… when you put it like _that_ …” Rissu’s face burned under the mask. “Don’t worry. My master would go spare if we were left behind. We’ll be fine.” 

They walked for a while, and Rissu changed direction a few times. She was more wary than she let on, because there was a chance the life-forms she was following were the Force-sensitive natives. But she reasoned that they’d have a different feel to them than the ‘troopers did. And she reasoned that she would find out soon enough if she was right or wrong about that. She didn’t share her concerns with Officer Kro. 

About twenty minutes later, the feeling of life around her became stronger. She could sense stormtroopers patrolling all around her, in the distance, and that was when she let Officer Kro leave. She unclipped the com from her belt, and noticed on the display that she’d also been sent co-ordinates. She saw her target’s position relative to her own, and made in that direction. The further she crept through the damp, shaded jungle, the more densely the area thrummed with life. A glimpse of white armour every now and again, but so far, nobody had seen her. In full uniform she looked like a shadow, and in the dim shade of the jungle, that suited her task perfectly. 

Rissu saw it in her mind’s eye a moment before it happened. She ignited her lightsaber just in time, deflecting the bolt with a red blade that illuminated the area. The blaster bolt struck the ground, smouldering. 

The noise attracted the attention of others, who joined their comrade in firing at Rissu, orders flying back and forth between them barely registered with the girl. Her head snapped back and forth wildly as she watched them spread out. She fought off a shower of blaster fire, trying to aim the bolts away from the advancing ‘troopers, and hurried away in the opposite direction, running as fast as she could. 

The girl slashed away massive leaves and fungi as she ran, running nowhere in particular. Now her cover was blown, she had to get away and start over, if she could. After a couple of minutes she slowed to a halt and dropped to her knees, gasping for breath. Her thumb brushed against the button that would deactivate her weapon, before she felt something new coming closer to where she knelt. Whatever it was, it was fauna, and whatever it was, it was huge. 

*

_”If you encounter a Rancor, don’t engage it,” Kylo Ren had advised her the night before. “Don’t draw any attention to yourself, just get away as fast as you can. If one of the squadron is in danger, don’t be a hero. You’re not yet powerful enough to kill a Rancor, and tomorrow, your safety is the most important thing.”_

_“What if it’s the Captain who’s in danger?” Rissu had asked._

_Her master had taken her into his arms as they sat there on the couch, and he had nuzzled his face into her hair. He had pulled her into his lap. “Captain Phasma won’t_ be _in any danger. She’s trained to kill Rancors… among other things. It’s more likely she would be saving_ you _from one._

*

With that in mind, the Force-user stood up as quietly as she could, struggling to keep her desperate breaths quiet while her lungs ached for more. She deactivated her weapon and slunk away, just as the hulking form of the creature came upon the space she had occupied only seconds before, ripping massive plants out of the ground by the roots as it pushed through them. Rissu turned back for a moment and watched it sniffing curiously at the mud, before she got as far away as possible. 

She stopped on the edge of a small clearing, and checked her com again. She was close now, and she could sense the presence of stormtroopers ever thicker around her. Some approached the clearing, but Rissu couldn’t see them yet. She stowed her lightsaber back on her belt, and started to climb up one of those gigantic plants on the edge of the clearing. About two thirds of the way up, three stormtroopers came into sight. Rissu looked down and watched them. The ‘troopers said nothing, and looked like they were only passing through on their patrol. They hadn’t seen her. 

Despite the trembling and protesting of her arms, Rissu pulled herself the rest of the way up the plant as quietly as possible, not taking her eyes off the three. One of them squatted down. What he or she was looking at, Rissu couldn’t see. Her attention was stolen by a ‘trooper in chromium armour striding into the clearing. 

“Ma’am,” a male voice acknowledged. 

Captain Phasma looked down at the ‘trooper on the ground. “What have you found?” 

“She was here, ma’am,” came a second male voice. “Look - these must be from her boots.” 

“Good work, 0591,” Phasma responded. “All of you, follow her tracks.” 

The Captain left the three alone, and disappeared into the plant life. As the three came closer, the Force-user prepared to make the jump from one plant to the next. She readied herself like some sort of wild animal, and leaped. 

It was the perfect getaway, jumping from plant to plant, not noticed by anyone. If Rissu was more athletic, that is. But she wasn’t strong enough - her jump fell far too short, halfway between the two plants the girl scrambled - for a branch, leaves, _anything_ , before plummeting to the ground with a heavy thud. Three white-masked heads turned to where she lay face-down in the mud, groaning. 

“Oh, shit…” she moaned. 

_Kylo would’ve made that jump_ , she thought to herself. She knew that because she’d seen him do it before, on another planet, some months ago. That was where she got the idea from in the first place. 

Rissu rolled onto her back and ignited her saber just in time to protect herself from the rain of blaster fire that came upon her. She scrambled to her feet, and again ran. 

She was so close now. No doubt most ‘troopers would be closing in on her location now, she had to be quick. Still slicing at the overhanging foliage as she charged forwards, finally, the girl came to her destination. It didn’t take her long to spot the unit. 

Rissu stilled, quiet. The only sounds were the chirping of an untold number of insects and birds, and the soft humming of her weapon. There was a shuttle in the clearing too - Rissu guessed it was there to quickly load and unload the unit, which was nothing more than a white box, only just big enough for the officer waiting patiently inside to move about comfortably. At that moment, they were sat with their back against the metal bars. The officer was guarded by two ‘troopers on the outside. 

When their backs were turned, Rissu stormed into the clearing and threw both guards back with all the telekinetic strength she could summon. Clearly the girl didn’t know her own strength - they skidded twenty metres through the mud, almost buried when they finally came to a halt, firing hopelessly up into the sky, disoriented. The Force-user yanked away their blasters before returning her attention to the unit - the officer inside now standing, facing her. 

“Stay back,” she warned him. 

The officer obeyed, shrinking back and watching in horror as Rissu rammed her red blade into the lock. After a second or two, there was no locking mechanism left to speak of. The door swung open and she beckoned the man out quickly with her left hand, parrying the fire of an increasing number of stormtroopers with the weapon in her right. More and more appeared with each second that passed, barking out commands to each other and threatening to surround the two. 

“Let’s get out of here,” Rissu said, grabbing the officer by the wrist and pulling him out of the clearing. They both ran as if for their lives, dodging blaster fire as half the squadron chased them. 

“You do know…” the man panted as he ran. “You do know… one of those guards… had a fob key… right…?” 

The Force-user stumbled, almost tripping over her own feet. Unnecessary damage to the training equipment meant she could only guess how much paperwork she’d created for herself. 

At the same time she felt like it was what her master would’ve done. 

* * *

Rissu exhaled slowly, leaning on the open ramp of the officers’ shuttle. She looked around the hangar, watching as the space brimmed with the activity of so many different people, carrying out any number of different tasks. She tuned into the chaotic sound of so many people and droids. As strange as it felt for her to admit it, she was glad to be back on board the Finalizer. Somehow, the simulated gravity of the ship now felt more like home to her than the gravity of an actual planet like Felucia. Even returning to Druemer on leave was strange for her these days. 

“You did well, Rattigan,” came that curt voice that always chilled Rissu’s very stomach. 

She looked over her shoulder. “Oh, wow, uh… thanks ma’am. I hope I’ll be allowed to help out again.” 

The Force-user wondered if the Captain would send her a report. Some sort of feedback for next time - _if_ there would be a next time. She wondered whether the exercise would help the ‘troopers at all. Without another word, Phasma left Rissu, who was content to keep leaning there and watch the Landers arrive, one after the other. She watched as the GA squadron exited, leaving for somewhere and some things that Rissu was not privvy to. 

When every Lander had emptied, Rissu made to leave too. Suddenly she was aware that she was coated from head to toe in mud that had long since dried - her once-gleaming mask was probably covered too. Cleaning it thoroughly would be the first thing she’d do when she got back to her apartment - Kylo would make her do it sooner or later anyway. 

Half way to the nearest exit, she stopped. Her head turned curiously back to the closest Lander - she could still sense someone inside. There were any number of reasons someone could still be in there - an engineer, most likely, but whoever they were, their despair hung thick in the air. The girl turned around, went back on her path, and climbed the ramp. There sat a lone stormtrooper, slumped over on a bench, masked head in their hands. They looked up at the clang of Rissu’s boots against the metal floor. 

“Hey… uh…” Rissu began awkwardly. She didn’t know what she was doing. “…What’s up?” 

The ‘trooper sighed deeply. Rissu took a seat next to him, reached under her helmet, and removed it. 

_Maker, it really is filthy._

She set the mask beside her on the bench and pulled her hair out of its ponytail. The pale gold mane fell about her face and shoulders, and only then did she remember she was showing her face to a complete stranger without a shred of make-up. 

Rissu particularly liked the mask for that one purpose. It really was something she could hide her face behind, and nobody needed to know quite how hideous she really was. Except for Kylo Ren - she shared a bed with him most nights, it was only a matter of time before she was left with no choice but to show her bare face to him. Why he hadn’t promptly thrown her out an airlock was still a mystery to the girl. 

Despite the unholy sight before him, the ‘trooper wasn’t perturbed in the slightest. He followed suit, and removed his own helmet. Short, red hair brushed against the rim of the mask as he lifted it over his head. He held it in his arms, clutching it against his armoured chest. 

Rissu put a hand on his shoulder. “C’mon, what’s up?” she repeated. 

“What’s the point?” he blurted out. “What was the point in even _trying_? We tried as hard as we could down there… we didn’t get _close_ to shooting you. Not once. We don’t _want_ to hurt you, but… if we can’t get to _you_ , _how_ are we supposed to face up to Luke Skywalker?” 

He looked like he was about to cry. 

“It would’ve made you feel better if I’d not tried quite so hard… yes?” Rissu asked. “But that wouldn’t have done any good for anyone. If we’re gonna bring Luke Skywalker, and Rey, to justice… we need stormtroopers who know exactly what they’re up against. You need to have practiced with the best… so I need to _be_ the best I possibly can. That’s that only way we’re gonna take them out.” 

The ‘trooper blinked a few times before meeting Rissu’s eyes. “I guess you’re right.” 

“Remember, Force-users are hard to fight if you’re not one yourself… but we’re not un-killable. Keep at it, yeah?” 

The redhead nodded enthusiastically as Rissu smiled. She donned her filthy helmet and left him alone in the shuttle. She descended the ramp to find she was still being watched. After stopping and turning back, the ‘trooper, still masked, emerged from where he’d been sat cross-legged under the ramp. Only when he stood did Rissu notice he was extremely tall. 

“You did great down there ma’am,” came an overwhelmingly deep, but warm voice. 

“It’s Rattigan, please. Or Rissu if you like. Either way, thanks, uh…” 

“0591.” 

“Oh… you were one of the ones who saw me fall off the tree, weren’t you?” 

A chuckle rumbled from behind the helmet. “Yeah, it was funny. Really funny, I didn't think Force-users made blunders like _that_!” 

Rissu felt her face flush with heat. The beak of her mask dropped to the floor. 

“Don’t be embarrassed!” GA-0591 said. “Nothing like that _ever_ happens on training exercises! Rissu, you’re a breath of fresh air already.” 

“Well… glad I could entertain, I guess.” 

“Some of us are getting hammered in the GA quarters tonight, you should join us.” 

Rissu’s fair eyebrows came together. “I appreciate the invite, I really do, but… I don’t drink.” 

“We want you to come whether you drink or not. We wanna get to know you. Please, join us.” 

“Well…” 

It had been a long time since she’d partied with anyone, but at the same time, she remembered what Kedd had told her only a day before. “Yeah, okay, I’ll come.” 

“Great! We’ll get you some nice _tea_ or something.” 

Rissu chuckled, and made to leave. “I’ll see you later, 0591.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're going to get into the real plot of this story soon (that is if I can stop breaking up chapters into smaller ones). CURRENTLY my projection stands at 22 chapters for the whole story (but that could end up being more at this rate).


	5. Party Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a note I wanted to just kind of say that in the beginning bit it might seem like she's questioning her loyalty to the First Order but that's not what I intended it to be at all. I intended it to be her thinking about stuff in an objective sense.
> 
> Also there's a content warning for some not-so-rough sex =V

Rissu set the curling iron down on her dresser, grabbed a bottle of hairspray and began to backcomb her hair. While she teased the volume into her roots, her eyes met the almost-grey ones in the mirror, dressed up in their usual black eyeliner and false eyelashes. Eyebrows pencilled bold and brown the way she liked them, lips overdrawn even though they didn’t really need the help. Sometimes she only really recognised the girl staring back at her when she was made-up. _This_ was how she wanted to present herself to that stormtrooper, but sometimes it wasn’t possible. 

She’d never seen a stormtrooper that upset before. So desperate to fulfil his role in the First Order. So… brainwashed? 

Rissu decided that brainwashed was probably the wrong word to describe the way the ‘troopers didn’t know life any different to theirs. The First Order, and what they were taught within, was all they knew. She knew they weren’t really supposed to think too much or question anything, and that was why they were given so much to keep them happy. Like tonight - booze to take the edge off. They were sheltered from much outside of their own lives… hurried on and off shuttles before they could take the time to look at the way people lived planetside. Before they could realise that _that_ was normal. 

She stood up and pulled on a pair of hi-tops before leaving the apartment. While she walked through the empty, sleek black corridors that could easily claim those who didn’t know them intimately, Rissu could understand how the ‘trooper felt. Almost like a need to play one’s part in ending the war, and bringing those who had hurt so many people, to justice. 

She remembered that day vividly. Quite possibly the worst day of her new life. Rissu was on board the Finalizer, as usual, when they got the news that Starkiller Base had been destroyed. When the word reached her it was hard to breathe at first - that was where her master was at the time, and nobody could tell her if he was safe. If he’d even survived. Gibby held her tight, trying to stop her sobbing. Together they checked every escape pod that came in for any sign of Kylo Ren. 

When Rissu finally sensed him on board, hours later, she at least knew he was alive. She followed that trace of him to medbay, and proved she was indeed a woman after his own heart by practically tearing the place down to get to him. It frightened people, they’d never seen her that worked up before. The way she fought medbay staff tooth and nail to see him was frightening even to Kedd. 

He was a mess, but at least he was alive. Rissu couldn’t have been more thankful for that. She didn’t know what she’d do without him (she suspected that General Hux would’ve probably had her dropped off on the nearest inhabited planet). Kylo was left scarred after that, but to Rissu he was still the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen, inside and out. Nothing could change that. All the same, her blood boiled when she thought about the Force-user who’d injured him. Rey… the First Order didn’t know where she was right now, but Rissu hoped they found her before she hurt anyone else. She wanted to kill the girl herself, but Kylo wouldn’t have it. He said it wasn’t safe for Rissu to be anywhere near her. After all, if _he_ couldn’t kill her, there was no way she could. 

*

Rissu sat on the floor, propped up against one of the bunk beds. She nursed a mug of herbal tea while the ‘troopers around her fell into more and more inebriated states as the night went on. Most had turned in by then, and now only five were still up and drinking. These five seemed particularly close. GA-0626 lay slumped over with her head in 0591’s lap while 0020 dangled half his body off the bunk above Rissu, threatening to fall, although the only thing he seemed to care about was making sure he didn’t spill his drink. The only sober one left, it would be Rissu’s job to catch him if he did fall. 1418 stood, crossing the dorm precariously to get another beer from the crate, and 0133 lay back in her bunk, yawning widely. 

“Forget it, it’s a stupid story,” Rissu said. 

“No… we wanna _hear_ it!” 1418 whined. He grabbed hold of the nearest bunk to keep himself from toppling over. 

“Yeah, tell us!” 0591 said, barely stifling a hiccup. 

“Okay, fine,” Rissu said. She sipped her tea. “So, we’re on Druemer for a training exercise. This isn’t the district though, this is _rural_ Druemer, it’s just… just snow. Snow as far as you can see for miles and miles. We’re sparring, we’re duelling, we’re chasing each other through all this fucking snow, I’m getting so _into_ it, I don’t even notice this _guy_ come out from behind the trees. He’s a hunter, or farmer or… something. I stop just in time but I burn his coat a little with my saber. He’s wearing this big ass coat. Of course, I feel bad, but… no harm done, right? 

“So I apologise, and hope everything’s gonna be okay, but this guy starts _demanding_ we compensate him for his injury and for the damages - he’s not injured, that much is obvious. Kylo tells him in the _nicest way possible_ to fuck off. But then he starts getting _really_ angry, says we’ve been damaging sacred trees the whole time we’ve been sparring and if we don’t give him money he’ll call the authorities. Now, I’m _from_ Druemer, lived there my whole life. I’m from the district but I already know there’s no sacred trees on Druemer. I call his bullshit and he says I’m just city folk and I dunno what I’m talking about. But… there’s no sacred trees.” 

“He sounds like a… _a real asshole_ ,” 0020 interjected. He took another swig of his drink. 

“You’re not wrong… rural Druemerians are just hicks, Twenty,” Rissu said darkly. “Real fucking hicks. Problem was, our whole trip was kind of under-the-table. Druemer’s a neutral planet, we can come and go as we like but the First Order isn’t really allowed to use it for training or anything - the only reason we were there is because I know a few _really_ good places. Which meant if ol’ seven-fingers called the authorities, we’d be in a lot of trouble. Even _Kylo-fucking-Ren_ squaring up to the guy didn’t scare him, and of course, we couldn’t just… _kill_ him. And we couldn’t exactly get the First Order to pay him off for us because as far as _they_ knew, we were on Malastare.” 

“Why _weren’t_ you on Malastare?” 

“Kylo wants me to get used to duelling in all different climates, land types, things like that. So if the enemy tries to fight me on unfamiliar ground, take me out of my comfort zone, there won’t _be_ such a thing.” 

“So... what happened?” 0626 asked again. 

“Well… Kylo decided it was a great chance for me to practice doing a mind trick, which is basically using the Force to get someone to do whatever the fuck we want. It’d be like we were never there. But I was all flustered, right? I hate being in trouble with anyone. So… it didn’t work. And by then, half the fuckin’ village had shown up!” 

“What did you do?” 

“We gave them our hotel money, called my friend from university and spent the night in her dorm. Kinda cramped but… no harm done.” 

A few drunken giggles bounced around the dorm. 

“No wonder he was in a bad mood...” 0591 said. 

“Yeah… it wasn’t the best trip.” 

“Didn’t you have any family who could help?” 0133 asked. She sat up in her bunk. 

“I don’t really talk to my parents about work,” Rissu said. She didn’t really want to start a conversation about family with stormtroopers. Now her tea had cooled down, she drained it. “I don’t think they really know just how dangerous it is, and… I wanna keep it that way. Don’t want them worrying. Besides, they didn’t know I was _with_ Kylo at the time, I didn’t wanna open up _that_ can of worms.” 

With a great effort, 0626 lifted her head from 0591’s lap, and reached over to the crate. ”I gotta ask, Rissu… has the Commander ever… you know… with you… with his… _you know?_ ” 

The Force-user’s bold eyebrows came together in confusion. “I _don’t_ know, sorry.” 

Rissu looked into the outermost layers of her thoughts, piecing together the blur of images in the drunk stormtrooper’s mind. She felt heat creeping into her face and her eyes widened in understanding. “Oh! His lightsaber!” 

“Look at how red she’s gone, that says it all!” 0020 shrieked. More and more of his body slid off the bunk as he laughed heartily. “Come on then, _has_ he?” 

The girl fiddled with the empty mug in her hands while the ‘troopers howled with laughter. Despite how much she was blushing, she couldn’t help grinning widely. “Uhh… maybe once or twice, or… four times. You'd never forget it, he’s pretty intense when he does it. No… scratch that, it’s _all_ intense with him. Sometimes sparring on a cliff’s edge feels safer.” 

1418 let out a low whistle. “ _Sounds_ intense… rumour going around’s that you’ve been to medbay for more sex injuries than work injuries.” 

Rissu’s face was uncomfortably hot. “You’re probably right.” 

“I heard he threw you around too much once and dislocated your shoulder.” 

“Uh… yeah, that happened.” 

Didn’t he knock you out once after he hit you too hard in bed?” 

“Now that _is_ just a rumour,” Rissu said. 

“No, it ha -hic- happened,” 0133 interjected. “I was there, you wouldn’t remember it ‘cause you were out cold. He carried you in.” 

“Oh… well… I guess that explains why he’s been more careful since then.” 

“Is this what… you want?” 0591 asked. He swayed dangerously while he frowned at the girl, his jewel-blue eyes were filled with real concern. 

_These guys actually care about me._

“I wouldn’t have it any other way. Don’t forget, I was the one who came to _him_. I guess it helps that we want the same, uh… stuff.” 

The room was silent for a few seconds, save for the snoring of sleeping ‘troopers and small belches from those still awake. Only then did it occur to Rissu that the music stopped playing long ago. 

“And the, uh… the Supreme Leader,” 0591 sounded more nervous now for his own sake. At the mention of the name, the whole atmosphere in the dorm transformed in a second. “What’s he like?” 

The change in Rissu’s demeanour was obvious. Her already pale face drained of colour. She played so vigorously with that empty mug it was sure to break soon. “He’s… he’s a fantastic leader,” she eventually decided. Her smoky eyes dropped to the carpet. 

“You don’t look all that convinced.” 

“No, he really is a better leader than we could ever wish for! But…” 

She didn’t really know how to put her feeling of dread into words. 

“He scares me. Like… it’s scary the way the room gets so cold just because he’s there. The way he glares at you and talks to you like he’s about to order your death. And in my case he could do that at any time.” 

“He has a problem with you?” 

The room was deathly quiet. All five leaned in close. 

“He puts up with me, I think. He sees me as Kylo’s pet project, nothing to do with _him_ , but… he’s already told me that the moment I prove a _distraction_ to Kylo’s work… I’m gone.” 

“Geez…” 

“We just have to make sure that never happens, that’s all.” Rissu said, her tone much brighter. 

“Wow… I don’t wanna meet someone _you’re_ afraid of…” 0020 said darkly. He took another swig of his drink and finally slid off the bunk. 

“Shit-” 

Rissu threw her hands out and caught him mid-fall, the remainder of the clear concoction spilling onto her like a heavy rain. Arms splayed in anticipation of an impact, 0020’s eyes widened in surprise when he realised he was suspended halfway to the floor. He cried out in joy as he floated there. Rissu set him down gently next to where she sat and the other four ‘troopers clapped and whooped. 0020’s body slumped onto hers and she struggled to keep his huge frame supported. 

“Nice save Rissu!” 0626 said. “Best Force-user ever!” 

“My saviour…” 0020 said, groping Rissu in an embrace so tight, she wondered if he ever planned to let go. She smiled, chuckling as he nuzzled his face groggily into her neck. 

Six heads turned as the door flew open with much more force than the automatic systems accounted for. The room fell silent and still as Kylo Ren’s looming form filled the doorway. He took one step into the dorm, masked face fixed on Rissu. She could feel his anger fill the room as he stared at 0020. When the stormtrooper eventually realised why he was getting the most attention from the Commander, he jumped off of Rissu as though she was on fire. 

“With me, Rissu,” Kylo said simply. 

She nodded. “I uh… I better go, guys,” she said, standing up quickly and leaving with her master. 

They walked through the depths of the Star Destroyer in silence. Rissu could feel the hot anger radiating from him the whole time, and it was with a sense of trepidation that she wondered what he would say, or do. The best thing for her to do now was say nothing. It was a few minutes before he finally stopped in the middle of an empty corridor, and turned to face her. 

“What do you think you were doing?” he snarled. 

“Some of the GA squadron invited me over, and I wanted to go,” Rissu said timidly. “You were still planetside so I sent you a message, I thought you’d be okay with it.” 

“GA-0020 had his hands ALL OVER YOU!” Kylo yelled. He drew his lightsaber in an instant. Rissu ducked before he slashed at the wall above her. Sparks rained down on her, and she backed further down the corridor. 

“Is that the problem?” she asked, just as timidly. “You think something was gonna happen with one of them?” 

“NO OTHER MAN IS ALLOWED TO TOUCH YOU!” 

He struck the wall again and again. His rage and the smell of burned durasteel both hung heavy in the air, they made Rissu feel a little ill but all she could do was wait for him to get it out of his system. To a bystander it wouldn’t look so, but she knew Kylo was no threat to her. When he was finished, breathing heavy, fists balled around his weapon and nothing respectively, Rissu turned, and continued the walk back home. Kylo followed wordlessly, she knew he would. At some point the hum of his saber didn’t follow her, and he’d calmed down for the most part. When they came to her apartment door, she punched in the code and they both entered the living room. She kicked off her hi-tops, went to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water. 

“Twenty didn’t mean anything by it,” Rissu began. “He’s wasted, he didn’t know what he was doing. Besides… I’ve seen what’s in his mind, he doesn’t think about me like that. None of them do. I think you might be the only man on this ship who wants me, actually.” 

She grinned, stalking towards Kylo. Her hands brushed up the front of his robes, up to his shoulders. She had no idea what he could be thinking, that mask seemed to hide everything when he just stood, watching her. 

“And if they did want me? I wouldn’t wanna know - when I have you, how could I _ever_ look at anyone else? And if they tried anything, they’d be a part of the wall within five seconds. You know this is true, so… I dunno why you worry so much.” 

There wasn’t a trace of anger in the room now. He let her back him across the room, to the couch, where she eased him down without a word. He let Rissu climb on top, straddling him. She smiled as though the whole situation was funny to her. In a way, it was. She thought it was a stupid thing to get worked up over when she felt the way she did. 

“I love you,” she said. “I don’t think you realise just how much.” 

She pressed her lips to the muzzle of the mask and didn’t pull away. She ground her hips instinctively against his and he met her half way. Kylo gripped her hips and ground into her more fiercely. 

“I belong to _you_. No one else.” 

Hands slipped under her vest, finding her breasts. He groped hungrily before pulling off the girl’s vest and bra. 

“You belong to me,” he repeated, an air of finality in his modulated voice. 

“Mmhm… no other man can touch me like _this_ …” Rissu said. She sighed softly at the graze of her master’s thumbs over her nipples and the feel of his clothed erection grinding against her. 

Kylo let her unzip his pants, then she urgently pulled off both her belts, and worked her jeans down and off her legs. He let her ease onto his generous length, and begin to ride him slowly. 

“You’re the only man who can do _this_ to me…” she sighed. 

Rissu was transfixed by the way Kylo’s chest rose and fell so deeply as he leaned back on the couch, and she picked up her pace. The way his laboured breaths were amplified coming out of that mask. His gloved hands scraped at the leather of the couch like he was holding back from touching her. His hips bucked up into hers as her movements became more urgent. 

Kylo’s restless hands came up to remove his mask, quickly as though it suddenly became unbearable to wear, and he threw it aside. It hit the carpet with a thud, and he immediately started to kiss and caress every inch of Rissu’s skin he could reach. Her hands, balled into fists around the cowl at his shoulders, came up to the back of his head, pulling him in close as he sucked her nipples. His groans of enjoyment sent vibrations through the girl that made her feel giddy. She couldn't hold back a sob of pleasure. 

“I… I love you,” she repeated, voice high and wavering. 

He kissed her fiercely, strong arms wrapped around her, holding her tight. The way he whimpered quietly into her mouth and the way he bucked into her so urgently told Rissu he was close. It wasn’t long before Kylo grabbed her hips and threw her down on the couch. He climbed on top of the blond, his beautiful eyes lit up with a fierce hunger, and buried himself inside her again in one fierce thrust. He fucked her mercilessly, moaning his lover’s name as he shuddered on top of her, and release tore him apart. 

He stilled, and planted light kisses on his apprentice’s chest. “I love you, Rissu,” he said. 

The pair stayed on the couch for a while, holding each other in silence. At times like this, more than ever, Rissu thanked whatever gods that must’ve been smiling down on her to allow her to path to ever cross with Kylo Ren’s. 

“It’s a bad idea to make friends with stormtroopers,” Kylo eventually said. “When the First Order started to build its armies, the GA squadron had close to two thousand ‘troopers. The chance one of your new friends doesn’t come back from a mission, Rissu…” 

“I know that,” Rissu said. There was a hint of sadness behind her words. 

“Our enemies have intercepted several transport shuttles at once in the past. Hundreds of ‘troopers, killed at once. Do you think you could handle losing your friends like that?” 

“I have to take that chance. They reached out to me today, and I’m not gonna push them away just because they _might_ not survive the war.”

The blond buried her face in the rough fabric at Kylo’s neck. She inhaled his scent deeply. 

“I’m lonely,” she said. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m happier here than I’ve ever been in my life… and I know I have you, and Gibby and Kedd… but I’m still lonely up here. I miss my friends back home and I miss my parents. I want to make friends.” 

She looked up. He met her gaze, and she stared into those eyes, so perfect and expressive they threatened to make Rissu’s heart skip several beats every time she saw them. 

“Is that okay? Please?” 

Kylo was silent for a minute or so. 

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” he said eventually. 

Rissu smiled warmly, and hugged her master even tighter. “Thank you.” 

Kylo returned the embrace, placing a kiss lightly on the top of Rissu’s head. “Have you eaten?” 

The blond rolled her eyes. “I was just _about_ to, geez…” 

She got up and pulled her panties back on. “Can I have a protein bar for dinner?” 

It was Kylo’s turn to roll his eyes. 

“ _Please?_ I _promise_ I’ll have something proper tomorrow.” 

He sat up on the couch. “A proper dinner tomorrow _and _a good breakfast.”__

____

____

Rissu’s face lit up. “Thank you!” 

She rushed to the kitchen, grabbed a bar from one of the cupboards, and started to eat slowly. Gods only knew how long it would be before she’d be allowed one of these again, she had to make it last. As for breakfast tomorrow, she made a mental note to reserve a treadmill for the morning. She’d work that off in no time. 

Kylo joined her in the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water. “I spoke to Captain Phasma,” he said. 

Rissu looked up, her teeth half way through the bar. 

“She’s pleased with your performance today. Very pleased. She feels the ‘troopers have already taken something away from the exercise.” 

The blond swallowed quickly. “So she’d want me to do it again?” she asked excitedly. 

Kylo nodded once. “Of course.” 

“Did she, uh… was there any feedback?” 

“She said a detailed feedback will be sent to you, but _did_ mention that you spent more time _running_ from the squadron than interacting with them in a way they could benefit from. The exercise never was about winning. But becoming as immersed as you did… she said it’s telling of your commitment, and your potential.” 

Rissu chuckled. “Yeah… I guess I lost sight of why I was there, I put all my focus in getting the job done. When all’s said and done, I’m just…” 

“You’re a training tool.” 

“Yeah, exactly. I’m a tool,” she repeated, grinning. She finished the last of her meal and threw away the packaging. 

“Are you staying over?” Rissu asked, sidling up to her master and wrapping her arms around his middle. 

He held her barely-clothed form warmly against his own. “Come to my apartment tonight,” he said after a moment of deliberation. 

“Yeah, sure, just give me a minute and I’ll come over.” 

With one final kiss to his apprentice’s forehead, he was gone. Rissu went back to the living room and pulled her clothes back on, just for the walk to the next corridor, and then she was gone too. 


	6. Necessary Tests

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually really like how this one turned out! \o/
> 
> (You'll never hear me say that again)

“Do you understand why the First Order does favours for planets like Harhayve?” Kylo Ren asked. The vibrations from his voice, so rich and deep, travelled through Rissu’s sex - shaved as always. His mouth was so near, yet so far. He didn’t look up. His breaths, slow and calm, washed over the girl’s clit, and he traced lazy circles on her thighs with his thumbs. She lifted her head from the pillow and looked down her perfect hourglass of a body to him. 

“Because they’re an allied planet,” Rissu said. 

Her master rewarded her by tracing slow circles around her clit with his tongue. A slow exhale from her told Kylo she was enjoying herself. “You’re not _wrong_ ,” he said. “Elaborate… and _I_ will elaborate.” 

“Because… because being allied with the First Order means they’re willing to provide us with things that benefit us.” 

“Such as?” 

Kylo reached behind him and grabbed a bottle. He began to lube up a string of beads, and when he was done, pressed the first teasingly against Rissu’s waiting asshole. 

“They can give us… uh… support in the Senate.” 

The girl shuddered in delight as Kylo pushed the first bead inside. 

“ _Fuck_ … a-amnesty… places to train… _resources_ …” 

She was rewarded with a bead for each answer she gave. A quiet grunt of pleasure escaped her throat as they filled her up. She squirmed a little, the feeling was incredible. 

_Best teacher ever…_

Kylo looked up, grinning at his student. His erection pressed hard into the mattress while he lay there. “Anything else? I have one more here.” 

She searched her memory desperately for the answer. She was almost trembling in need. “Uh… et cetera?” 

At her answer there was a hint of exasperation in Kylo’s face. He stared fixedly at Rissu for a while. Eventually, his attention returned to her wet cunt. “Close enough.” 

He pushed the last bead deep inside Rissu’s ass, and she moaned loudly. 

She wanted him more than she could describe with mere words. “ _Please_ …” she begged. 

Her master rose to his knees, and climbed over her small form. He began to run his own hand up and down his achingly hard length while his apprentice’s eyes roved adoringly over every perfect inch of his naked body. He wanted her. 

He smirked. “Please what?” 

“Please fuck me. Hard. I need you inside me.” 

Kylo’s cock throbbed in his hand at her plea. “Do you think you’ve earned it?” 

Rissu returned the smirk. She nodded down towards her master’s leaking dick. “As if you’re gonna wait for me to _earn_ it.” 

“Do _you think_ you’ve earned it?” he repeated. 

She looked back up into his gentle, dark eyes. “I tried my best.” 

His eyebrows raised. “That’s all I want to hear.” 

Then he bent down and kissed her slowly, hungrily. He pressed the head of his cock against her wetness. “Now I’m going to ruin you.” 

* * *

Harhayve was probably the wealthiest planet the First Order had allied with at the time. The government didn’t need much from anybody, however the President had already called upon the Order once or twice to aid in slightly more personal matters. Their ‘unique services’ was the way he described it. In other words - Kylo Ren’s abilities. For that reason, Ren knew exactly what to expect from his mission that day - something easy, and very safe. Something so safe it was worth taking his apprentice along to teach her how she should handle missions of any kind. How she should behave on them. 

They were instructed to land right outside the Presidential palace. As they did, Rissu glanced over at her master, confused. She couldn’t see his face, but from his body language he didn’t seem at all fazed. Then again, she reminded herself, he’d been here before. He had to know what he was doing. 

The engines were still running when they descended the ramp. As soon as their boots touched the marble pathway that led up to the palace, everything became clear. The pair were immediately met by two pairs of escorts, each heavily armed and armoured. They each bowed slightly, then they flanked the Force-users and led them towards the enormous building. 

Rissu looked back towards the Command Shuttle. She watched two men - both wearing matching uniforms - board, and the ramp was lifted only a few seconds later. A few seconds after _that_ , the shuttle began to take off. 

She looked to her left, up at Kylo. “Master, they’re taking-” 

“Valets, Rissu,” he said calmly. 

Behind the mask the apprentice’s eyes widened. “ _Really?_ We have _valets?_ That’s so cool!” 

Ren still looked ahead as they walked. “The President likes to treat the First Order well. This shouldn’t come as a surprise to you.” 

She’d met the Harhayvan President once before - at the gala he’d held to officially celebrate the alliance between themselves and his planet. She already knew he was an extravagant man, and she already knew he had a very soft spot for Kylo in particular. He was a man who liked power, and he knew exactly where he wanted to be when the First Order ruled the galaxy. 

“Stay close to me,” Kylo said, as quietly as possible. 

The apprentice gave a small, quick nod. She knew exactly what he meant. 

Rissu looked up at the lavish building. It really was huge. This time, in the daylight, she was able to really appreciate that work that had gone into it. Like the armour of the escorts on either side of them, the palace was white, sparkling in many places with something silver in colour. Dressed all in black, the two Force-users couldn’t have stood out more against the light marble that made up the walls and floor of the foyer as they entered. And there, stood waiting in the middle of the room, was the President himself. 

As the pair approached, the rotund man, so immaculately-dressed, stuck out a hand for the older of the Force-users to shake. 

“Commander Ren, it’s a real pleasure, as always!” he said in a warm voice, as Kylo took the hand in his own. “How has life been treating you, my friend?” 

“Well, Mr President,” Kylo replied politely. He bowed slightly as he let go of the President’s hand. “Rissu, bow to the President.” 

The apprentice jumped, and lowered her head quickly and nervously. 

Already _forgetting the customs…_

“Commander, neither of you need to bother with the formalities here!” the man laughed. He turned his attention to the girl. “Ah, the _beautiful_ Rissu Rattigan, my masked angel… How lucky I must be, to be graced with your presence a second time.” 

He took her hand gently and placed a light kiss on the back. To her left, Rissu felt the very air grow hot with her partner’s possessive anger, and his fist clenched in the corner of her eye. He hid it well though - in many ways the President was a valuable ally to the First Order, and he knew better than anyone that they _both_ needed to behave today. 

In response, her hand retreated as quickly as was polite. “It’s an honour Mr President,” she said. “Our congratulations to your daughter, by the way. It’s only a month away now, right? How are the wedding plans coming along?” 

“Perfectly Rissu, thank you for asking! You both got your invitations, I presume?” 

“Oh yes, thank you sir, we’ll be there!” 

Rissu glanced up at Kylo, who nodded, the visor of his mask fixed on her. 

The President smiled widely as he looked up to the master. “I’m still waiting to see your fine lady in a dress,” 

Rissu grinned. “Don’t worry, we’re strictly non-uniform at the wedding. You can understand that the gala was different, yeah?” 

“Of course, my little flower. Now, onto business!” the older man said excitedly, clapping his hands together once. He waved the two Force-users along while reaching for his com. 

He leaned in. “It’s time, bring the champagne please.” 

The President’s hand rested on the small of Rissu’s back as the three of them walked through the corridors of the palace. It was a difficult position for her - trying to find a balance between being polite to the President and not rejecting him in a way that would upset _him_ , and not making Kylo angrier by putting up with it. Rissu knew before they landed on Harhayve that she’d have to tolerate the President’s advances to a certain extent, but it still wasn’t easy for Kylo to watch another man touch her like he did. She kept close to her master, like he’d instructed. 

The three rounded a corner and the President opened a door to the right. They entered, finding a private lounge of some sort. The room was surprisingly small given the size of the palace - cosy, some might say, with two white leather couches and a coffee table between them. As Rissu and Kylo sat together on one couch, the three were joined by a Twi’lek man, wearing the same uniform as the valets and balancing a platter with three glasses of champagne. 

The President took one for himself, and the platter was offered to Rissu. Her face fell behind her mask. 

“I’m really sorry Mr President but… I don’t drink,” she said quietly. 

“I remember perfectly, my teetotal beauty,” he replied. His smile never faltered. “Yours is non-alcoholic.” 

“Oh! In that case, thank you so much for your thought!” 

She took the glass that the Twi’lek indicated, and Kylo took the last one. Rissu set down her glass, and with a click and a hiss, removed her helmet. She didn’t take her eyes off her master as she put it down tentatively on the coffee table. He nodded, and did the same. The man in uniform left. 

The President took the nearest seat on the other couch. “So, down to business. Commander, I need to call upon your unique services. You did such a _fantastic_ job last time, I just _knew_ I could count on you again.” 

He talked with his hands as he spoke. “You see… I believe one of my staff is a traitor. Things have been good here. Really good. But a few weeks ago some information got leaked to the public. Confidential information, things I didn’t want getting out. Nothing _terrible_ , but next time I might not be so lucky. One of my most trusted members of staff _must_ be responsible, and I _have_ to find out who. So what I did was, I had a list written up of all my staff who had access to that information, and…” 

“You want me to find out who it was,” Kylo finished for him. 

“Exactly! You can read their thoughts, it’d be a cinch for you!” 

“Indeed… it won’t be hard.” 

“When you find out who it is, do whatever you must. You know how it is, these people _cannot_ be trusted. If they did it once, there’s nothing stopping them from doing it again! I’ve made my peace that one of my team has to be executed.” 

At some point in the discussion, the President’s free hand had found its way onto Rissu’s thigh. His face betrayed his lust, and what was in his mind was no better. Rissu saw herself in a bedroom somewhere, naked (minus her nipple ring) submitting to the President’s every whim. And in the man’s imagination, she loved every second of it. The bizarre thing, she decided, was that Kylo Ren was in the imagined room too - stood against some wall, watching everything. 

_Maybe he’s feeling guilty on some level_ , Rissu thought to herself. _Maybe that’s why he can’t take Kylo out of the scene_. 

The hand claimed more territory, sliding dangerously high up the girl’s thigh, and Ren’s rage was so hot in the air, Rissu thought she would pass out. She could see it in her master’s face, his beautiful eyes lit up with fury as he drank his champagne. Thankfully the President hadn’t noticed. 

One of the rules Kylo had set out was that during working hours together, in public - be it planetside or on a First Order vessel, physical displays of affection weren’t allowed. It didn’t look professional. She needed to calm him down somehow though. Eventually she decided that since this was a private room, and the President already knew they were in a relationship, it was a trade-off she had to take. She shifted a little, crossing the leg in question over the other, out of the President’s reach, and leaning into her master’s body. She wrapped her arms around him gently, trying now more than ever to look like she really was his property. 

It worked. Kylo responded instantly, not only did that burning anger subside a little but he glowed with affection. His free hand snaked around the back of her, resting on the curve of her waist and staying there. 

“I want Rissu to be the one to do it,” he said. 

The apprentice turned her head sharply up to him. “What? _I_ can’t do this!” 

“Why not?” 

“Because…” 

She faltered. “I… dunno, I just can’t.” 

“So it’s a matter of self-confidence. Which we can remedy today - you’re completing this mission. As long as we have permission from the President?” 

He looked across to the middle-aged man, who laughed that wheezy laugh again. “Of course, Commander! Who am I to tell _you_ what to do with your apprentice?” 

“In that case we’ll begin when you’re ready, Mr President.” 

*

They found themselves back in the ballroom, strangely enough. Where the gala had been held only a few months ago. Of course, Rissu thought it looked so much bigger without the guests. Cavernous, in a way. She looked up, the high ceiling made the room look like it went on up almost endlessly. The girl shivered a little. 

Her attention returned to the what could best be described as police lineup in front of her. The twelve suspects - nine men and three women, weren’t _quite_ backed against the wall. There was a guard for each of them, all wearing the same white armour the escorts wore, and each pressing a vibroblade lightly but threateningly into the suspects’ backs. 

A gloved hand pushed Rissu’s back ever so gently, and she stepped forward to complete the mission. She turned her head back and Kylo nodded encouragingly. He stood so still, and Rissu had a feeling he’d already taken the secrets and lies from every suspect. He probably already knew exactly who it was. 

But her test was to find out for herself. After all, some day she’d be doing this for real, side by side with him. Eventually, she decided the best way to begin would be reading from left to right, so she walked towards the furthest on the left - one of the women. She was a human, tall and young, dressed in a white suit, immaculate like her boss. All the suspects were dressed like that. Rissu decided that nothing needed to be said, so she immediately raised her hands to the woman’s temples, lifting her masked face to her. The redhead winced visibly when the blade was jammed more firmly, more threateningly in the small of her back. The message was clear. 

The blond was reminded of her beginnings as a Force-user - reading the thoughts of strangers to entertain them, just to get Kylo Ren’s attention. Like all those times before, she saw the thoughts at the forefront of the woman’s mind, and pried a little harder to see the memories she tried much harder to hide. 

“It’s incredible to watch her in action,” the President said, some way behind Rissu. “Very impressive. You must be very proud of her, Commander.” 

“I’m very proud. She’s come so far since I took her on.” 

“She has one hell of a future ahead of her.” 

She couldn’t help but smile as she listened to the men talk. That smile stretched from ear to ear, and the words spurred her on. As it turned out, the woman had nothing to hide. Rissu lowered her hands, and moved onto the next suspect. She found nothing until she reached the fifth. Again, her hands skimmed over the orange scales on the Trandoshan’s temples, sifting through his more recent memories. And there, she found _something_. Panic began to trickle out of the reptilian man, and Rissu tasted it on the Force. She saw him seated in discussion with another suited man - this one much older, and he spoke of matters he knew he shouldn’t. Things that would favour the older man, and damage the President’s reputation. In his mind, Rissu saw money trade hands. 

She still made a point to investigate them all, just to make sure. And she _was_ sure, until she reached the final employee. Again, she searched the human’s mind, only to find the same scenes with the same old man as she saw in the Trandoshan’s memories, and felt the same panic inside him. 

It was one of the two, she was sure of that. Rissu’s went back to the Trandoshan, and back to the human, scrutinising both for an agonising amount of time. She finally stepped back, and her master’s hand rested on her shoulder. 

“What are you thinking?” he asked her gently. 

“I’m… confused, Master,” she said, without looking at him. “I’ve narrowed it down to two. But out of them… I dunno who did it. Is it possible they’re both traitors?” 

“Show me the two.” 

Rissu turned around, and opened her mind to Kylo. His masked face gave nothing away. 

“Very good, Rissu. Remember this next time you try to doubt yourself. You’re capable of far more than you give yourself credit for.” 

_I did it!_

She smiled again, from ear to ear. A smile no one would ever see. 

“Now kill them,” Kylo said simply. 

“What?” 

“Complete the mission. Kill them.” 

The smile was wiped from her face. Suddenly she felt nauseous. The girl turned back to the line of well-dressed employees, and her right hand trembled as she reached for her lightsaber. 

_This is my job, it_ has _to be done. I’ve done it before and I can do it again._

She approached the reptilian first. In response, Kylo’s hand shot out, and the traitor was frozen to the spot. He was helping her. This was how it was the last two times, it was easier this way. The man couldn’t run, and there was less chance Rissu would botch the kill. 

Behind them, the President sighed. “Not _you_ , Lesskk…” he said mournfully. 

“Nice and clean,” Kylo said to his apprentice. “Just like on Coruscant.” 

She ignited her weapon, the shadows it threw onto the wall were bathed in red. She edged forward, and even though he was unable to move, Rissu could see pure terror light up the man’s scaled features. Whether he trembled so violently because of the power holding him there or because he was scared, she didn’t know. All the guards pulled their prisoners aside with those blades still pressed into their backs, they weren’t going anywhere. The Force-users were going to make an example of the two traitors. 

He couldn’t move enough to say it, but his thoughts screamed that he was sorry, he’d _never_ do it again if he was allowed to live. After that, Rissu had to remove herself from his mind. She didn’t return. When enough space had been cleared around them, she struck without any further thought. 

It really was like cutting through butter, she decided, as the blade sliced through the man’s neck with little resistance. The head rolled somewhere behind one of the guards. She still didn’t let herself think when Kylo lowered his hand, and the body dropped to the floor in a heap like a puppet without a master. 

She’d been holding her breath, she realised, and exhaled slowly, raggedly. Her eyes flicked up and across when she heard one of the women whimper quietly, tears rolling down her cheeks as she stared down at the corpse. 

“Okay. Next one,” Rissu said flatly. 

Before she’d even turned her head, the other man indeed made a run for it, taking his guard by surprise. Kylo whipped around, and caught him from across the room. Rissu approached, something detached and rigid in the way she moved, and swung her lightsaber again. 

*

“I did the right thing, didn’t I?” 

“Yes… you did the right thing.” 

The girl said nothing, for a minute or so. 

“I mean… if _I_ hadn’t killed them, _you’d_ have done it - so they’d have still died. The only difference is I’d have disappointed you.” 

“Rissu, I’m trying to fuck you, can you please stop talking about the traitors?” 

“Sorry.” 

Rissu knelt over the edge of the bed, hands balled into fists around the bedsheets as Kylo took her from behind. His hands gripped fiercely on her hips while he rocked into her over and over. 

“I dunno if I’m feeling _guilty_ or-” 

Kylo stopped moving abruptly. “I swear to the Maker, I will _gag_ you if you don’t shut up.” 

Rissu smirked. “You don’t _have_ anything to gag me with.” 

One hand left her hip and reached up her back, between Rissu’s shoulder blades. Kylo traced the path of the jagged, angular black spiral that was tattooed there, from the inside out, while he looked around the hotel room. He pulled out, and she watched him make his way to the other side of the bed, his wet length stood to attention. When he ripped the net curtain from the pole above the window, Rissu knelt up straight, eyes wide in horror. 

“You can’t just rip shit off the windows, Kylo!” she cried. “We’re gonna have to _pay_ for that!” 

He smirked, and rolled the delicate filigree into a strip. “Damages. Now get on the bed. On your back.” 

She returned his smirk, did as she was told, and shuffled up. The mattress shifted as Kylo climbed back on and knelt over the blond, and he forced the thin material into her mouth and tied a knot at the back of her head. He gave a tender kiss to Rissu’s forehead before burying himself inside her again. His moan was loud and open, the gag rendered hers nearly inaudible. 

He resumed his earlier pace. “You belong to me,” he sighed. “Not him.” 

“Mmmh,” Rissu’s words were obscured completely. She nodded vigorously, tears of delight welling up in her stormy eyes. 

Ren pounded into her aggressively, forehead buried in the crook of her neck, his hot, heavy breaths washing onto her pale chest. He growled. “He can never have you! You’re all mine!” 

“Mmmh-h-h-h!” 

The tears rolled down the girl’s face, ruining her eyeliner as they did. She twitched and thrashed under Kylo, and he grabbed her, pinning her harshly to the mattress as she climaxed, her screams muffled by her gag. He quickly followed her when she spasmed around him, and he roared as he came. 

Rissu pulled apart the knot at the back of her head while Kylo rolled onto his back. She sneezed violently. 

“Geez, you could’ve shook it out or something,” she said. She grinned and draped the fabric over the bedside table. “There’s a _lot_ of dust in this thing.” 

“I never heard you complaining,” Kylo replied, a hint of sarcasm in his voice. 

Rissu grinned in return. “Well you _wouldn’t_ , would you? Not when I had it stuffed in my mouth.” 

She wrapped her arms around her master’s huge body. “So… damages?” 

“Yes, damages.” 

They lay in silence for a while. 

“He wants you,” Kylo said eventually. 

The blond’s eyes flicked up to meet his, wide, boring into him. “ _Really_ ,” she said, slowly and sarcastically. “I’d never have guessed…” 

Kylo smiled. “Did you see what he was thinking?” 

“Yeah but- I didn’t really… I didn’t really understand what was going on.” 

“He wants to share you with me.” 

An amused grin broke out on Rissu’s face. It was impossible for her not to laugh. “ _What?_ What makes you think _that?_ ” 

“He asked me once. I said no.” 

“I can hardly imagine you saying _yes_. Still… weird thing to ask for…” 

She got up off the bed and stood at the window, still naked, looking out at the world far below. The suns were beginning to set, and the sky positively bled. The President assured that he’d reserved them the best room in the whole hotel for a good view. The same room they’d had the night of the gala, actually. Nothing less than the best for the Commander of the First Order and his apprentice, the President had said. 

It was definitely one of the nicer hotels they’d stayed in together, like something Rissu would find back on her home planet. A place where only the rich could stay. And their room really did have one hell of a view - from the top floor they could see the whole coastline, and the ocean that still sparkled in the fading sunlight. With the setting suns, a sprinkling of homes beneath them had turned on the lights. 

Kylo joined his apprentice at the window. He gazed intently - not at the view, but at her. “Are you okay?” he asked. 

Something in her face had given her distress away. “Why couldn’t he just… _fire_ them?” she asked. 

“It wasn’t our decision to make,” Kylo said. “We only do what we have to.” 

“I dunno what I’m feeling. I know I have to do it but…” 

She rested her head against her master’s bare chest, and he held her close. 

“If you need to cry, that’s okay.” 

She sighed a ragged sigh, but otherwise said nothing. A few tears indeed rolled down her face and splashed onto his pale skin. 

“It gets easier,” he said, while he stroked her back gently. 

_At least I didn’t have to kill my dad_ , she thought to herself. She sniffed, and pulled her head away. She dabbed tentatively at her shining eyes and returned her attention to the ocean, Kylo’s strong arms still wrapped around her. 

“I’m really proud of you,” he said quietly. “I know I don’t say it enough, but I always am. I’m so proud of you. You’re gonna be a great Commander some day.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: the gala that's mentioned here was the first time that Kylo Ren was introduced to Rissu's parents. It did not go well. I'm definitely gonna write that separately from the main story.
> 
> Also being gagged with curtain filigree sounds really gross to me. I mean... there's gotta be so many spiders living in that stuff, right?


	7. The Attack

In the pitch black of her bedroom, Rissu’s eyes snapped open, and she sat bolt upright, alone. She couldn’t see a thing, the lights were off, it was the middle of the night cycle. She couldn’t _hear_ a thing, at least not right at that moment. But she could sense the intruder in her apartment. 

Half-asleep, she ripped the covers off and swung her legs out of bed. She reached blindly for her lightsaber on the bedside table, and making as little noise as possible, Rissu crept towards the open door, and into the living room. 

_Is this the attack Kylo warned me about_ , she asked herself. The girl wondered how lucky she must’ve been to have woken up before the intruder had killed her. 

She didn’t stop to think, with the element of surprise on her side she didn’t _need_ to stop and think. Not when she could gut them before they even knew she was one step ahead. Rissu charged and ignited her weapon, stopping in her tracks just in time when she heard an all-too familiar voice cry out. 

“ _Kedd?_ ” Rissu gasped. “Kedd, is that- what the fuck are you _doing?_ ” 

The red glow illuminated the two women, and Rissu could see her friend had something in her arms. She crossed the room, and switched on the lights manually. Kedd lifted her arms up to gesture to the vibrant decorations she was holding. 

“Rissu, I didn’t mean to scare you!” she said. “I just hoped I could come in and get everything ready before you woke up! I asked Commander Ren and he gave me your door code, I hope that wasn’t out of line.” 

The older was still having trouble processing what she was told. She deactivated her weapon. “Get everything- what?” 

“I wanted to surprise you… don’t you remember it’s your birthday?” 

The Force-user’s eyes flicked down to the decorations, and back up again. “Oh yeah!” she finally said. “I completely forgot!” 

Rissu closed the distance between them and hugged her friend. “That’s so sweet of you Kedd. But now that I’m up, you want a coffee or something? I’ll help you get these put up.” 

*

It was about 05:00 when Rissu finally passed out on the couch. Kedd covered her with a blanket before leaving, and it was 09:00 before Kylo Ren found her and woke her. He looked around at the colourful banners and balloons plastered onto every wall and tacked onto every surface, before kneeling down to the sleeping girl. 

“Wake up, birthday girl…” he cooed gently. He brushed aside the fine hair that had fallen onto her face. “It’s time to get up.” 

Rissu stirred, smiling groggily. “Morning, you…” 

She stretched openly, and dragged herself up into a sitting position. “I better get up… I’m late, aren’t I?” 

She made to stand up, but Kylo set a hand on her shoulder. He smiled warmly. “There’s nothing planned for you today. You’re gonna enjoy your birthday.” 

“But… you know I don’t celebrate my birthdays. I don’t care.” 

“I insist.” 

And that was the end of that. Kylo Ren always got his way and Rissu knew that better than anyone. She wouldn’t love him quite as much as she did if he was any other way. The apprentice shrugged half-heartedly and the master kissed her forehead gently. “I have to leave,” he said. “I’ll be back early. You have until 14:00 to decide where you want to go tonight, and what you want to do.” 

“So I can choose to go… anywhere?” 

Kylo nodded. “And do anything - within reason. The galaxy is yours tonight.” 

Rissu smiled. I’ll give it some thought.” 

Little did Kylo know that she’d decided _well_ in advance. He stood up, crossed the room and left. It was still a few minutes before Rissu got up. She went to the kitchen, shoving aside two giant silver helium balloons in the shape of a 2 and 5 that were tethered to the counter, and made herself a mug of coffee. She began to plan out her morning while she drank. Gibby might’ve only just woken up, and Kedd would definitely need to sleep in since they’d spent the night decorating. Rissu decided she’d kill some time in the gym before going to get her friends. 

She skipped breakfast and left, wearing the standard issue workout gear and dragging her duffel bag behind her. She’d barely made it out of the apartment block before she sensed something approach. Something fast and full of energy. Then she heard it approach - a wall of noise. 

That something rounded the corner, screaming, rowdy. When it came into view Rissu saw it to be eight stormtroopers, and by the looks of it, they were charging straight for her. She didn’t have time to react before the white stampede was right upon her, not slowing even a bit as they swept her straight off her feet. 

“BIRTHDAY GIRL!” they hollered in unison. 

Rissu screamed and flailed as they carried her away at speed. 

“Quarter of a century!” came a familiar voice. 

“Quit struggling, you old hag!” came another. 

_Hang on, they’re GA!_

“D’you think First Order staff get medals for surviving to that age?” 

“Look who’s talking 0591, you’re twenty-seven!” 

“And don’t forget it, 0133! That practically makes me the leader of the squadron!” 

After that, Rissu let the ‘troopers carry her to gods only knew where. They charged through the corridors, bystanders clung to the walls in surprise to let them pass without incident. 

“What are you _doing?_ Where are you taking me?” 

“You’re one of us now, Rissu!” GA-1418 said without missing a beat. “You need an _initiation!_ ” 

_Oh… fuck…_

They charged along a final corridor and burst into an interrogation room. The stormtroopers threw Rissu into the seat and didn’t restrain her. With their masks on she couldn’t really tell all of them apart, only distinguishing a couple based on their height. 

Two of them immediately stepped up to the chair, together carrying a massive bucket, and they threw the contents over the Force-user. She screamed bloody murder when the ice-cold water hit her, and the eight ‘troopers howled with mirth. The cold bit at her skin, she blinked away the water that trickled into her eyes. Her hair was soaked, hanging limp on her shoulders, and her vest clung cold to her skin. She could hear one or two of them crying with laughter despite the masks. 

Rissu rested her head in her left hand, her elbow on the arm rest, waiting for the ‘troopers to finish. Her expression was completely blank. 

“You proud of yourselves?” she asked. A few recoiled slightly, but they could all hear how she was struggling to keep herself from laughing. “Because you’re all in deep shit now.” 

She stood, and even though three of them towered over her, she was intimidating. Her grin was wide and ominous. 

“I suggest you all run, and hide. And pray I don’t find you.” 

*

*

“When we found them… 0133 was on the floor, crying,” GA-0591 said. He took a moment to finish off his coffee. “So now we know. Hell hath no fury like a Force-user after a hazing.” 

Kedd giggled, and Gibby smirked at the three ‘troopers sat on the opposite couch. Rissu approached and set a bowl of snacks on the coffee table. 

“I had to get you all back _somehow_. You could’ve avoided the whole situation by not hazing me.” 

“I guess, but… _tickling?_ Is that _really_ what Commander Ren wants you using your power for?” 

“The things he teaches me would surprise you.” 

“You could’ve stopped us if you really wanted to!” GA-0626 said. 

“I was giving you all the freedom to choose your own fate. I’m kind like that.” 

She sat down on the couch next to Kedd. “You’ll tell General Hux I’m sorry, right?” 

Kedd grinned. “Tell him yourself!” 

“I don’t want to… he scares me.” 

“What happened?” GA-0020 asked. He grabbed a handful of potato chips from the bowl. 

“I _might’ve_ burst into a pretty important meeting while I was chasing you guys down. Soaked from head to toe. I guess it kind of made the whole of Finalizer look bad… he wasn’t happy.” 

“Armie says you’re going to bring the First Order down single-handedly with your debauchery,” Kedd added. 

Rissu chuckled. “He hates me. I think he’s always taken issue that of all the things Kylo taught me since I’ve been here, how to behave isn’t one of them.” 

“He’d have to _know_ how to behave before teaching someone else how,” Gibby added. She wore a wicked grin. 

“I’ll tell him you said that, and _don’t think I won’t_ ,” Rissu said jokingly. She reached out behind the couch, and a pack of playing cards leaped from a shelf and into her waiting hand. “What do you guys wanna play?” 

“I want to play poker!” Kedd said, straightening up excitedly. 

Rissu stared. “ _You_ want to play poker?” 

“You assume I’d be uncomfortable because Armie won me in a poker game? On the contrary, if it meant coming here, that game was the best thing that could’ve happened to me!” 

GA-0591 threw his hands up, staring fixedly at Kedd. “Hang on, back up. Back the fuck up for a second. The General _won_ you? You’re a _slave?_ ” 

“I was. Not since the day I came here though.” 

“He wanted you to be able to choose to stay, or go back home, right?” Rissu asked. She began to shuffle the cards. Kedd nodded. 

“He’s a good guy. But he still scares the shit out of me. So who’s playing? I’ll just deal. I don’t think I can play without cheating by accident.” 

“You _have_ to play, Rissu!” Gibby said. “You can’t just stop using the Force for one game?” 

“I dunno if I can just switch it all off. It’s like… like being asked to stop hearing shit for a few minutes.” 

“Only one way to find out.” 

“All right, fine… I’ll give it a try.” 

As it turned out, Rissu could keep herself out of her friends’ minds, and she could even keep herself from sensing what cards they were holding. What she couldn’t switch off was her ability to feel their reactions to what they were seeing. It was like a sixth sense to her, and it gave too much away. After a few rounds, she put her two cards down and watched her friends play. But she quickly found that that too, was far too predictable. 

Kedd looked up. “If you want something to do, why don’t you go down to the caf and pick up the cake?” 

After that, Rissu was gone. She made her way back out of the apartment block and into the parts of the Star Destroyer that thrummed with life. She wasn’t expecting so many people to offer her a word of greeting as they passed in the corridors. Some even wished her a happy birthday. The words uplifted her, so much so that Rissu felt like she was floating by the time she arrived in the caf. Stood in the queue, the girl was beaming. She could only assume people were greeting her because they’d become aware of her friendships within the GA squadron. That word was going around that she wasn’t what they first thought she was. Of course, she could be wrong. Whatever the reason, Rissu felt for the first time like she was actually integrating, like she was connecting with people. She decided that this could already be the best day of her new life. 

She would later decide, in hindsight, how ironic it was that it was the same day everything began to fall apart. 

The Force-user approached the counter, and didn’t need to say anything. She was handed a nondescript box, and when she took it she found it to be much heavier than it looked. Rissu thanked the woman behind the counter and turned around, carrying the box in both arms. She smiled when she caught sight of her master across the room through the crowd, stood in the doorway. 

She approached, looking at him like he was the only person in the room. He might as well be. Before she reached him, Rissu put the box down on a table, then threw herself into his arms. The joy inside her reached fever pitch as he held her tight. There might have been dozens of pairs of eyes on them but as far as she was concerned, they were the only ones in the room. 

“Is it 14:00 already?” she asked, eventually forcing herself to break away from the embrace. 

Kylo nodded once. His dark eyes were fixed on her. “Have you made a decision?” 

That smile was still plastered to the apprentice’s face. “I have,” she said. 

“And?” 

“I want to go back home.” 

“To Druemer?” 

“Yeah. Back to the Arrivane. I was kinda hoping we could just go on like, a normal date, like any other couple. There’s no one else I’d rather go dancing with, you know.” 

Kylo didn’t seem to react. “With me,” he said simply. “Bring your cake.” 

Rissu did, and she followed her master out of the caf and along the corridors. Quickly, she realised they were headed back to the apartment block, and she grew more concerned about his silence. 

“Is that okay?” she finally asked when they reached her corridor. 

“It’s perfect,” Kylo said. “But there’s a problem.” 

Rissu frowned curiously. 

“A couple of months ago I told you that you were being targeted by the Resistance,” he continued. “Today we learned that attack will happen much sooner than anyone expected.” 

“How soon are we talking?” 

“Today.” 

What little colour there already was, drained from her face. Suddenly her heart pounded somewhere in her throat. “What are we gonna do? Should we stay here where it’s safest?” 

They approached the door to the girl’s apartment, and Kylo punched in the code. Five heads turned in their direction when they entered. 

“That would be the best way to approach the attack, yes. I suggested you remain here, escorted by a guard of stormtroopers until the attackers are dealt with, but _General Hux_ insists you leave tonight to draw them away from the ship. So your presence doesn’t endanger anyone aboard.” 

He said the name slowly, venom in his voice as he did. His gloved hands were balled into fists at his sides, and when she noticed, Rissu set her own hand atop his. He turned to face her, unable to come any closer because of the box held tight to her chest. “I thought you should know, before we went anywhere.” 

“I understand. So… we’re still going to Druemer?” 

“Yes. We will _not_ let them ruin your evening. No matter where you are, I’ll protect you.” 

* * *

The pair landed on the cold planet, and danced, and no attack had yet taken place. To Rissu, it really was the perfect evening. Any time she didn’t have her head rested on her master’s chest while they danced slow, she was lost in his eyes. The best day of her life had blended smoothly into the best night of her life - or, what would’ve been the best night of her life. 

They were headed for the hotel, but halfway along the decline of the street, Rissu stopped in her tracks. The cold bit at the part of her face that wasn’t obscured by her coat’s comically large fur trim. Kylo’s dark eyebrows came together as he turned back, watching the blond staring contemplatively at the door of a seemingly nondescript bar. She gestured him back to her side with a nod of her head. 

“I wanna go in here.” 

“A bar? But you don’t drink.” 

“I know, I just… I feel like I’ll know when we go in.” 

It only took her a few seconds to see what had drawn her in. Rissu’s eyes strained briefly in the dim light while she scanned the mellow crowd, but she still recognised the Twi’lek hurrying about behind the bar as soon as she set eyes on her. She took Kylo by the hand and pulled him along. When the Twi’lek saw them, her brown eyes grew wide and she nearly dropped the cocktail in her hand. 

“Sweet, what’s up?” 

“Rissu!” she cried. “Holy shit, what are you _doing_ here? Hang on, gimme one sec.” 

Sweet was gone for a minute or so, and in that time, Kylo slunk away somewhere. Rissu took a seat at the bar, and when her friend came back, she sat down next to her. 

“Working here now?” Rissu asked. 

“Yeah, we all graduated last month. I’ve been trying to get something in a lab but… you know, this pays the rent. How’s the ‘internship’ going? You know most of our classmates think you _actually_ got an internship in a First Order lab.” 

“Well, you know… in a manner of speaking,” Rissu said. “I _do_ go to the labs once a month or so, keep me tied over until I start research on the midi-chlorians. You know Kylo wants me to pick up where the Sith lord Darth Plagueis left off, right? When my training’s done. They’ve even got me writing essays-” 

Rissu trailed off. She looked around the gloomy bar. Something had changed, and she could feel it. The temperature in the room had dropped to a chilling cold to rival the outdoors, but nobody else seemed to have noticed. There was an overwhelming dark energy in the room, she could feel it. Something she hadn’t felt in any place other than when she was around the Supreme Leader. She shivered openly despite her enormous coat. Either Supreme Leader was here, or it was someone else just as strong in the dark side. 

_Where’s Kylo? Is he feeling this too?_

“Rissu? You okay?” Sweet asked. She nudged her friend’s arm. 

“...You better take cover, or get away.” 

As if on cue, a shot fired. Rissu saw it before it happened, she already knew it’d miss but she still recoiled when a glass on top of the bar exploded. She grabbed her lightsaber just as the whole bar devolved into panic and chaos, igniting the weapon just as the next bolt came, aimed at her head. Now everybody was on their feet, scrambling to escape, it was hard to deflect the fire safely. 

The crowd thinned out by the time the blaster fired a third time. She never heard it over the chaotic screams and footfalls of everybody trying to get away. Rissu aimed the bolt upwards. It hit one of the ceiling lights and the already dim room was blanketed in darkness, the haze of dust and smoke and the smell of burned metal were both thick in the air. That was when the Force-user got the first look at her attacker. 

He wasn’t Resistance. Or at least, he certainly didn’t look like a Resistance soldier of any kind. If anything, he looked far more like a bounty hunter - or the way Rissu had always seen them portrayed on the HoloNet. The man wore scratched and dented armour made of chromuim and brown leather, and a holster strapped to his waist, the blaster in his right hand. 

It was his mask that really unsettled the girl. It would’ve been a simple blank chromuim helmet, if not for the contours of a human face that looked like they’d been crudely hammered in. Cheekbones, nose, eye sockets and lips glinted unevenly in what little light remained. There was no visor, Rissu wondered how he was even seeing out of the hollow metal eye sockets. 

The room was nearly empty, and now the time was right for both to move in for the kill. The bounty hunter raised his blaster again and fired, this time Rissu aimed the bolt straight back at him. When he cast the bolt away with a careless wave of his left hand, the girl’s jaw fell open. 

_He’s Force-sensitive...?_

The revelation stunned the girl. It was him, she knew it. _He_ was the one who made the room so cold. Still, she could sense that no matter how connected this man might be with the dark side, his abilities weren’t all that well honed. 

Kylo was still gone though, and through the dark energy that felt like it was swallowing her up, Rissu couldn’t feel him anywhere. She was going to have to deal with this herself. At least, she’d need to hold the attacker off until he came back. She dived, and swung her blade diagonally up. As expected, the bounty hunter pushed her back with his own power. Rissu staggered back, and worked as hard as she could to get closer, pushing against the invisible restraint. He aimed his blaster again, and the girl saw pale blue sparks bursting to life on his fingertips. 

“No fucking way…” she whispered under her breath. She was seeing her attacker do something not even Kylo Ren could do. “Force lightning?” 

Neither of them saw the unstable red blade soar across the room, straight towards the man - not until it was right upon him. The bounty hunter cast Ren’s saber aside, and Rissu struck as soon as he let his guard down. As soon as he caught sight of Kylo on the other side of the room, the man made a run for it, and Rissu’s own blade barely singed the leather at his elbow. He was gone before either could react. 

Rissu turned to her master. He reached out and the saber returned to his hand. “That was the attacker!” she cried. “Where the fuck WERE you? You said you’d protect me!” 

He looked genuinely sorry, but didn’t answer. 

“He’s Force-sensitive,” Rissu added. “I couldn’t kill him, all I could do was hold him off.” 

Kylo nodded. He didn’t need to say anything. Rissu followed right behind him as he rushed out of the bar, and together they gave chase. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea why 0591 is the most fleshed-out stormtrooper. 
> 
> Anyhow this story is finally going places.


	8. Ay-ro Talbot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, I need to stress some things about this character before getting onto this chapter.
> 
> I've given him a really, really, and I mean REALLY strong Essex accent, and I've had a LOT of fun with emphasising this in his dialogue because his voice is so clear in my head, I just wanted to get it across in the writing. It's pretty full-on, and I'm afraid it might be impossible to read to people who aren't familiar with the accent. So I beg, if anyone is reading this story, please, please, **PLEASE** give me feedback if his dialogue is too much. If that's the case, I'll edit and reign it in. (Believe me, I could've taken it 20% further though)
> 
> Also I feel like a disclaimer is necessary. The more I worked on getting his accent in there, the more it kinda seemed like I was trying to insult people with this accent, and that's not the case. I have absolutely no problem with people from Essex and don't mean any offence. This is just how this character sounds to me.
> 
> I never really mentioned actually that Rissu has a plain ol' English accent, and I don't know why I never mentioned that. I always assumed/hoped I could work that fact into the story somehow but that never happened. I guess it's not really important though.

The Command Shuttle soared through the vast expanse of space, hot on the trail of a small ship that the attacker had escaped in only a minute or two before. Kylo piloted the First Order craft, trying his best to keep up with the bounty hunter’s ship, not letting it out of sight for a moment. Rissu sat in the seat next to him. She manned the cannons, preparing to fire. 

“Remember Rissu, try not to kill him,” Kylo said. His voice was quiet, he was concentrating so hard on his task. “Only damage the ship enough for him to be captured. He’s worth interrogating.” 

“Mmhm.” The girl’s attention was fixed on the display. They didn’t have much time. They were chasing a ship that was significantly faster than theirs, and if she missed, that small window of opportunity would pass and the attacker would escape for good. 

Rissu lined the cannons up again. “There was another thing,” she said. 

Kylo turned his head ever so slightly. Their eyes met. 

“Whoever he is, he’s strong with the dark side. I mean, _really_ strong. When we were in there, in the bar… I think he was trying to use Force lightning.” 

Kylo frowned. “Are you sure?” 

“I dunno what else it could be, it was exactly like you said your unc- …how Luke Skywalker described it to you. Except it just wasn’t quite there.” 

She dropped her gaze back to the display, and adjusted the cannons for the final time. It was now or never. 

“Steady, Rissu…” the master said. 

Her heart pounded in her throat. The moment the ship passed into the crosshairs, her eyes screwed tight shut and she pulled the triggers. 

“Yes, good job!” 

Rissu opened her eyes to find her shot had landed. She’d hit an engine on the left, and the attacker’s ship was much closer now. Before, it had seemed to glide through the void, now it looked more like it was dragging itself along. The girl’s mouth fell open, and she cried out in surprise. 

“I did it! I got him!” 

“You did great, just one more hit should do it... can you do that?” 

Rissu nodded enthusiatically. Her heart raced. “Yeah, I got this.” The second shot would be easy now that the target was so close, and so sluggish. Would her next shot destroy the craft though? She aimed for the wing, just to be safe, and fired again. 

“Yes!” 

The ship slanted noticeably, it was in trouble. That was it, they’d done it. Rissu punched the air in jubilation. The pair jumped out of their seats and hugged each other tight in celebration. 

“Well done Rissu!” 

“Can I do the honours?” Rissu asked. 

Kylo nodded and gestured to the com device, which Rissu picked up. She established a connection to the target’s ship. 

“This is a message from the desk of Kylo Ren,” she spoke, her voice elated and strong. She wore a huge grin as she looked out at the damaged ship in front of them. “We have you incapacitated, and we’re ready to finish the job if you don’t comply with our demands. We’ve contacted the Ravenous, and when it comes by you’re gonna dock, and prepare to be interrogated on board. I mean… it’s not like you’re gonna be going anywhere else in a hurry.” 

*

*

Kylo Ren entered the interrogation room, and immediately he was thrown by the dark energy he felt within. The cold that bit at his skin through so many layers of clothing. It was enviable, he thought, how connected this man was to the dark side. He began to close in on his captive. ‘Moody, but compliant’ was the way the stormtrooper guards had described him. He moved closer, studying the bounty hunter bound to the chair for the first time. He was still and calm as he sat there, his unsettling masked face followed the Commander with every step he took. 

Kylo squatted down to the man’s eye level. “What is your name?” he asked. 

“Ay-ro Talbot,” the bounty hunter said without missing a beat. Even after so few words spoken, and with the vocoder that distorted his voice, it was easy to notice how strong of an accent he had. 

“Ay-ro…” Kylo repeated slowly. 

The Commander reached out to the captive’s head. He felt around for the latch that would release the helmet, and when he did, pulled it off gently and set it on the floor. Whether it was a surprise to see the face of a young and particularly handsome human underneath was neither here nor there. After all, it took all sorts to be a bounty hunter. 

Ay-ro grinned a wide, wicked grin that never reached his eyes. Those hazel eyes that gleamed with malice. They gave away the smile he was faking. 

“Why were you trying to kill Rissu?” Kylo asked. 

“’S a job,” Ay-ro replied simply. 

“Who hired you?” 

“’Oo’d ya fink?” Indeed, Kylo already knew the answer. “Resistance.” 

The black-clad man nodded once. 

“Ya mum sends ‘er regards, by the way.” 

The bounty hunter was observant enough, and knew enough, to notice the way Kylo froze at those words. Strong enough in the Force to reach out and feel how his captor’s heart had begun to race. 

“General Organa,” Kylo said flatly. “Did she now…” 

“Yeah, well, ‘er actual words were summin’ like… ‘as a mother I can’t express ‘ow glad I am ‘e’s faand someone ‘oo makes ‘im ‘appy, so it pains me that as a General, I ‘ave ta ‘ave ‘er killed.’” 

“What purpose would killing my Rissu serve?” Kylo asked. His face was calm, but there was growing fury in his voice. 

“Ta get ta _you_ , withaat killin’ ya. Organa don’t want ya dead, but killin’ Rattigan would make ya vulnerable. ‘Ole a’ the First Order would suffah.” 

“So it was Organa’s idea.” 

“’Oo else?” 

Kylo didn’t respond, instead he stood slowly, hands balled into fists. “How dare she…” he said darkly. 

He whirled around in an instant, reaching for his lightsaber and igniting it. He slashed once at the console across from where Ay-ro was restrained. “HOW DARE SHE!” He slashed again. “HOW FUCKING **DARE** SHE!” 

His assault was unrelenting. Before long, every panel and every surface was ruined, and the room was filled with smoke and the stench of burned metal. “SHE CAN NEVER TAKE MY RISSU AWAY FROM ME!” he bellowed. “WHO THE FUCK DOES SHE THINK SHE IS?” 

Ay-ro stared with a mixture of shock and contempt while his captor destroyed the room. “Ey, _'ey!_ Calm the faack daan!” he said. 

The bounty hunter ducked just enough to avoid the weapon that Kylo hurled at his head. 

“DON’T FUCKING TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! **YOU DON’T GET TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO**!” 

“I ain’t _done nuffin!_ Jus’, gettin’ worked up like this can’t be good fer ya! Take it easy!” 

Ren’s shoulders rose and fell quickly with each deep breath he took. He stared daggers at Ay-ro, towering over him, but the younger man didn’t even flinch. If anything, he looked a little bored. There it was… contempt. If a person wasn’t outright afraid of him, they thought he was a joke. Kylo felt that he should cut off the bastard’s head right then and there, however he decided, eventually, that maybe he _should_ take control of his temper, just this once. There were still important questions that needed to be answered, and it wasn’t worth killing Ay-ro in anger before he got those answers. 

Finally, Kylo squatted back down again. He tried desperately to keep calm while Ay-ro glared smugly at him through the haze between them. 

“Why did she hire _you?_ ” 

“’Cause I’m the best at what I do. Best in the galaxy. Never missed a kill. ‘Till naah, a’ course. No one knows I’m Force-sensitive, see? No one sees it comin’. They see me ‘oldin’ me blaster an' it don’t occur to ‘em that I’m so much more than that.” 

Kylo nodded impatiently. “How long have you known you were Force-sensitive?” 

Ay-ro didn’t need time to think about it. “Couple ‘a years after me brother died.” 

“Who trained you?” 

“No one. Jus’ figured it all aat m’self.” 

A slight frown crossed the older man’s face. “Even the lightning?” 

“’Eh?” 

“Rissu told me you were on the verge of producing Force lightning. Is this true?” 

Ay-ro’s eyes widened. “Oh! Ya mean that fing with me fingers?” He shrugged as best he could within his restraints. “Dunno, it jus’ ‘appens sometimes. ...‘Ang on, did ya say _lightnin’?_ Yer sayin’ I can make _lightnin’_ come aat me ‘ands?” 

Kylo nodded slowly. The look on his face was almost dreamy while he reflected on it. “It’s a gift from the Force. Long ago, it was used by the Sith. With practice, it can be a powerful weapon. If mastered, it can be deadly.” 

He inhaled the wretched smell that still hung in the air, and moved in ever closer. He surveyed every line, every mark on his captive’s olive skin. “How did you manage to become so strong with the dark side?” 

Ay-ro perked up, no longer looking bored and moody. “Am I so?” 

“Yes, you are. What have you done to achieve this connection?” 

“Nuffin. I guess it’s jus’ summin’ that’s always been there.” 

Kylo felt that same pang of envy he felt when he first walked in the room. Oh, how he _longed_ to forge such a natural, and powerful connection to the dark side, and before him now was a man who it would seem had always been there. The dark side really was natural for Ay-ro, it would appear. 

For a while, they stared each other down. He really could learn a lot from this man. Maybe this bounty hunter could help Kylo become stronger with the dark side. They could help _each other_ realise their full potential. He wasn’t just thinking about his own goals though. Hadn’t Rissu told him that she was lonely on board the Finalizer? She could use a friend who understood how it felt to be in her position. They were even the same age - oh, it was _perfect_. It was fate, it _had_ to be. The Force must’ve brought them all together for this very purpose! 

“I have a proposition that I want you to consider,” Kylo said after what felt like an age. “Allow me to train you. I can give you the pieces you’ve been missing. I can turn you into a lethal weapon.” 

Ay-ro snorted derisively. “I’m _already_ a lethal weapon, _Commandah Ren_. What’s in it fer me if I join ya? Can ya teach me ‘ow ta control the lightnin’?” 

Having seen into Ay-ro’s mind, Kylo was glad, at least, that he decided against using the name that was so close to leaving his lips. And it _was_ close. Kylo had seen it. _Heard_ it. He stood to his full height. 

“I can’t,” he said. “I can teach you so many things, but that’s not one of them. But we can figure it out. Together. One thing’s for sure, you can’t do it alone. You _need_ me, if you want to become more powerful than you ever dreamed of. I can give you _that_.” 

Ay-ro hummed thoughtfully. “Hmm… ya make a good point.” 

“Think about it,” Kylo said. He began to stalk around the captive again. “Think about it while I talk things over with Rissu. She deserves to know what’s happening.” 

*

*

Kylo followed the trace of his apprentice to a lounge for high-ranking officers. When he got there, Rissu was the only one there. That wasn’t a surprise, it was well into the night cycle now. She looked up expectantly when he entered the room. 

“What did you find out?” she asked. 

Her master didn’t answer. Instead, he sat down next to her on the couch. 

“Where were you, anyway? When that guy attacked me?” 

“Someone… recognised me. On my way to the refresher. He was asking about the Academy, he had so many questions. I couldn’t get away, I’m sorry.” 

Rissu gazed sadly into her lap. 

“You’re angry with me.” 

She finally looked up. “I could never be mad at you. I love you. He didn’t hurt me and that’s all that matters.” 

The pair turned when the door opened. An officer neither of them recognised crossed the room into the kitchen, and began to boil a kettle. 

“So what happened to him? Did you kill him?” 

“Ay-ro,” Kylo said. “That’s his name. I’m not gonna kill him. I’m going to train him. Alongside you.” 

He took his girl’s hand. “Doesn’t that sound great? A fellow apprentice?” 

Rissu’s heart sank. “Kylo… he tried to kill me. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?” 

“He’s a bounty hunter, it’s business for him. He's not the one who gave the orders.” 

“Maybe so, but it matters to me!” 

“You could work past it in time, I know it. This could be the start of something incredible. We could train an army of Force-users. Together, you and me. Imagine it Rissu - a Force-user at the head of _every_ squadron. The First Order would be _unstoppable!_ You were the one who showed me that killing every Force-sensitive is not the way to move forward.” 

_Why isn’t that already a thing, though?_

“It sounds amazing, it really does, Kylo. But I don’t… I don’t know if I can work with someone who tried to outright kill me.” 

The strong hand that covered Rissu’s more delicate one travelled upwards, and Kylo wrapped an arm around the girl’s shoulders, pulling her in close to his body. 

“ _I_ tried to kill you when we first met. Don’t you remember that?” 

“I try not to.” 

“And look at how well _we_ work together. Maybe in time you could come to care greatly for Ay-ro.” 

“You’re such a smart-ass, you know that?” 

Rissu smirked. 

“You’re smiling, is that a yes?” Kylo asked hopefully. He couldn’t help but smile too. 

“You’re my master. I can hardly tell _you_ what to do. If you wanna take him… Ay-ro… on, then take him on. I’ll adjust. If you think it’s the right thing to do, I trust you fully. I’m sure we’ll be a great team.” 

Kylo smiled warmly. He kissed Rissu’s forehead. “This doesn’t change anything between us, you know that?” 

“I know.” She beamed, and wrapped her arms around him. 

“I love you. You’ll _always_ be my love. And no amount of apprentices will come between us. And I'll still make a Commander out of you some day.” 

They lay together on the couch for a while. In theory, they could leave the Ravenous whenever they wanted. Kylo, however, preferred to wait until his new apprentice’s ship was repaired. Enough, that was, for him to safely return home too. That could take another couple of hours. 

“If you’re really gonna take this guy on, just promise me one thing,” Rissu said eventually. She was grinning. 

The master cocked his head slightly. “What’s that?” 

“Please, and I mean, _please_ , let me be there when you tell General Hux.” 


	9. Getting Acquainted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, if Ay-ro's dialogue is impossible to read, PLEASE let me know and I can tone it down!

“So this whole second apprentice thing is really happening, then? For real?” 

“Yeah, he’s on his way right now. No going back. Here, look at this.” 

Rissu set her datapad down on her lap and set about retrieving the message in question. Gibby turned her attention away from the console she was working on, and leaned over. 

“Here it is. ‘I want you to greet Ay-ro when he arrives. He is expected at 11:00 and will dock in hangar one. Please show him to his apartment (4-19D), then take him for his medical. I will show him around the Finalizer when I can’.” 

The Force-user’s eyes narrowed while she read. 

“Hang on, he’s moving into 4-19D?” 

“Is that a problem?” 

Rissu ignored her friend and reached into her backpack for her com. She called for her master. 

“ _Yes Rissu?_ ” 

“Hey… I was just looking over the message you sent me, and I kinda glossed over the fact that Ay-ro’s moving into 4-19?” 

“ _That’s correct_.” 

“That means he’s gonna be on the same corridor as you.” 

“ _He is_.” 

“...” 

“ _Rissu? Are you still there?_ ” 

“How come _he_ gets to be on the same corridor as you and I don’t?” 

“ _We’ve been over this_ ,” Kylo replied. “ _When you moved in, the nearest apartment available was in 4-18. Ay-ro’s only able to move into 4-19 because Captain Maxus was killed two weeks ago and his apartment is empty_.” 

“Okay.” 

“ _Happy?_ ” 

“I guess. I’ll see you later. I love you.” 

Gibby’s eyes flicked back up again as the call ended, and Rissu dropped the com into her lap with a frustrated sigh. 

“What gives? What’s gotten you so jealous?” 

“ _Am I_ being jealous?” 

“If you want an outside opinion… you kind of are.” 

“...Y’know, hearing that should make me feel better.” 

“Doesn’t it?” 

The blond shook her head. “I know I’m being an ass… but I liked things how they were, just the two of us. I told you what happened when we trained on Baroonda, right? If there’s another apprentice there, shit like that won’t ever happen again.” 

“Maybe this just means it’s time to stop looking at those trips like they’re dates. You don’t go there to have fun, you go there to learn. You both still have plenty of time to be together outside of training.” 

“ _I know_ … I know, Gibby. I’m just worried, that’s all. I’m worried we won’t be so close any more.” 

“The only way your relationship will suffer is if you let it suffer. You guys are stronger than that - everyone says so. It’ll take more than another apprentice to get between what you and him have.” 

Rissu shrugged half-heartedly. She watched her friend work for a while, both of them silent. 

“What are you _doing_ , anyway?” 

“We’ve been intercepting coded messages sent to Resistance HQ, and I’m trying to figure out what they mean.” 

“Hang on, you’re _code-breaking_?” Rissu asked. Her eyes were wide. “That’s incredible! I had no idea you were a code-breaker!” 

“Maker, no, _I_ wasn’t the one who cracked it!” Gibby said, chuckling. “I’ve been given the tools and I’m just translating it back into Basic.” 

"Anything interesting?" 

"It's too early for me to say, but I _think_ it's about the time and date of a future holocall, I don't know what it concerns yet..." 

“I better leave you to it, I gotta go pick up Ay-ro.” 

Rissu slid off the console she’d been sitting on, and made for the door. “Keep making the First Order proud, Gibson!” she said jokingly. 

“Will do! Maybe I’ll actually get some work done now!” Gibby said, waving her friend out. 

*

Rissu watched the small ship dock from a distance. Her hands gripped the railings nervously while the engines died, and eventually a tiny ramp lowered quietly. A few seconds later, the new apprentice exited the ship. The whole hangar suddenly felt unbearably cold, though Rissu seemed to be the only one in the whole busy room who noticed. The man looked this way and that around the hangar, taking in all he currently could of his new home, and Rissu made her way down the steps to meet him for the first time. 

“Ay-ro?” she said nervously. “Welcome aboard the Finalizer. I’m Rissu Rattigan - but you probably knew that already. We’re gonna be working together - but you already knew _that_ too.” 

She smiled timidly. “I’m sorry, I’m rambling ‘cause I’m kinda nervous.” 

Ay-ro grinned his wide, wicked grin that still didn’t reach his eyes, and offered his hand. As he did, his eyes quickly scanned the girl from head to toe. “Naah, yer fine, mate.” 

_Holy shit, that’s a strong accent._

Rissu reached out and shook the man’s hand while three staff members ascended the ramp in single file. She was quite surprised to find his callused hand was warm to the touch. “C’mon, I’ll show you to your apartment. These guys are gonna follow with your stuff.” 

They turned, and walked. She had to admit, the guy was handsome. Nothing on Kylo Ren, of course. But still, she wasn’t expecting the bounty hunter behind the mask to be so… normal. She didn’t expect anyone quite so strong with the dark side to look so inconspicuous. He was dressed smart, although still casually, and his brown hair was smartly styled. Like Rissu, he seemed to take pride in how he looked, though the end result couldn’t have been more different between the two of them. 

“So, are those _regulation_ booty shorts?” Ay-ro asked, looking across to Rissu with a smirk. “Do I ‘ave ta wear ‘em too?” 

She smiled nervously again. “I’ve never been asked to follow regulation dress. You won’t have to either. Just have your uniform on in working hours and you’ll be fine.” 

“’N yer okay with the ‘ole ‘a the First Order seein’ yer ‘ole arse? ‘Ow does Commander Ren feel abaat that?” 

She could feel herself blushing in embarrassment despite the chill that lingered around them. “I like them. I like how they look. Besides… I don’t wear them all that often.” 

Ay-ro didn’t respond. They walked in silence until reaching the apartment. Clearly Ay-ro must’ve already been given the code, as he punched it in and the door slid open. He looked around curiously as they entered the living room. 

“Bit small, ain’t it?” 

The girl stared at Ay-ro while he explored the apartment, oblivious. “Are you kidding?” 

“Naah, ‘s _tiny_.” His voice reverberated around the refresher. “One room back ‘ome’s big as this ‘ole apartment!” 

“I never realised being a bounty hunter paid so well, I’m impressed.” 

"Naah, ‘s my folks’ place in the ‘Aater Rim.” 

“You come from the Outer Rim?” 

Ay-ro nodded. “’Aater Rim’s pretty sound if yer rich. Ya can do anyfin’ ya want - ta _anyone_ ya want. ‘S only shit if yer poor.” 

After a pause, Rissu grinned. “We’re kind of opposites in a way, if you think about it. You grew up rich in the Outer Rim and I grew up on Druemer without much money. I mean, my apartment here’s the biggest space I’ve ever had to myself.” 

Ay-ro hummed disinterestedly. He returned to the living room, apparently having seen enough. 

“So, medical naah?” he asked. 

Rissu combed through her fair hair nervously with her fingers. Ay-ro's hazel eyes bored into every inch of her. He looked like he was seeing right through her very flesh into what was inside. His gaze lingered over the various wounds on Rissu's neck and chest, but nothing was said by either. “If you’re ready.” 

Without any hesitation, the two headed out. Again, they walked quietly for most of the trip. 

“Ya always go araand the Finalizer barefoot?” Ay-ro asked. 

He shot Rissu that same smirk as before. She didn’t know why, but it made her feel uncomfortable. Like there was something less jovial behind it. She shivered violently. 

“Sometimes. No one minds. I mean, I’m not working right now.” 

“So if there was an attack right naah... ya ‘ad ta fight off a bunch-a invaders… ya’d be able ta do that barefoot?” 

“I don’t think it’d stop me.” 

“Broken glass ‘n bits a’ metal all ovah the floor? Yer feet would get ripped ta shreds.” 

She didn’t have an answer for that. 

“...Maybe you’re right. I’d never really thought about it like that before.” 

“Yer gonna be a Commander some day, if I been ‘earin’ right. Right up there with yer fella, tellin’ everyone else what ta do. Ya gotta start finkin’ abaat shit like this, Rissu.” 

She nodded. “Yeah, I’m sorry.” 

They stopped at the huge doors of the medbay. “’Ey, don’t apologise to _me_ , ‘m jus’ try’na ‘elp ya.” 

The doors opened, and he left without another word, leaving Rissu alone in the corridor. For a while she stood with her back against the wall, trying to take in everything that had happened. 

_I don’t think that went_ that _badly…_

That was the thought she kept in her head when the medbay doors opened again and she came back to reality. She watched as a woman left the facility and walked down the corridor, until she was out of sight. 

Eventually, Rissu decided to follow. She was expected on the bridge for tuition at 14:30 but until then, there was nothing she _needed_ to do. She returned to her own apartment and sat down on the floor to meditate - not before changing out of her shorts in favour of a pair of cargo pants, and pulling on a pair of hi-tops. Just in case. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the Outer Rim is a huge place, but I always preferred the idea that Ay-ro comes from nowhere specific. Like he moved around a ton while he was growing up, or maybe his family has property all over the show. So that's why he will tell people he "comes from the Outer Rim", as if he considers much of the area to be his home.


	10. First Impressions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this one took a while. I feel like I've been staring at the 3rd section of this chapter for what seems like weeks just kind of... hoping my thoughts would transfer onto the screen and finish the chapter? I kinda realised eventually that it wasn't gonna write itself so, here it is. The smut in this one might be one of the simpler scenes I've written but it feels hotter than most of my other smut scenes tbh.
> 
> For some reason having the song _Black Velvet_ by Alannah Myles playing while I wrote the smut really inspired me. I have no idea why, but that song just fits the mood of their relationship so well to me. I know it's about Elvis Presley but the sound just feels right when I write. It's not "their song" though, not to me anyway.

Heads turned, one after the other, and people stared in curiosity at the new apprentice as he and his new master walked across the bridge. Like the apprentice before him, Ay-ro was brought into the First Order with no announcement, however, some introductions were being made today. The pair moved across the massive, bustling space, and Kylo Ren looked over to the very corner, where Lieutenant Mitaka and a now-uniformed Rissu pored over a screen together. Behind his mask, Kylo smiled warmly. He could see how much more comfortable she was, being taught by the Lieutenant - rather than General Hux, and even while being corrected she looked somewhat relaxed. 

Kylo and Ay-ro approached the console, and teacher and student both looked up. 

Mitaka straightened up. “Sir,” he said quickly. 

“At ease, Lieutenant,” Ren said. “I’m glad you were able to fill in for General Hux on such short notice.” 

He nodded once in Rissu’s direction. She smiled back, her affection for her master betrayed entirely. She looked positively giddy like that. 

Kylo turned back to the Lieutenant. “Allow me to introduce my new apprentice, Ay-ro Talbot.” 

The surprise was evident in Mitaka’s expression, but still, he offered his hand in polite greeting. “It’s a pleasure,” he said. “Training under Commander Ren, you’ll do well.” 

“’E’s promised ta teach me a fing or two,” Ay-ro agreed with a smirk. He shook Mitaka’s hand. “Good ta meet ya, we better catch up later.” 

The pair then crossed the bridge, and left. 

“Wha’s next?” Ay-ro asked while they continued to walk together through slightly less busy corridors. “Seems like ya shown me everyfin’ naah.” 

“There is one last person I must introduce you to,” Kylo said. “Someone very important. I expect you’ll meet him face to face soon.” 

Ay-ro nodded confidently. “Rattigan looks like she’s gettin’ on well with ‘er trainin’, don’t she?” 

“For someone with no previous military or combat experience of any kind, her progress has been remarkable,” Kylo said proudly. “What do you think of Rissu?” 

The apprentice stared contemplatively ahead, as though trying to recall a fading dream. “Ehh… she’s got good tits. I mean, _really_ good tits. Faackin’ _’uge_! I bet they’re fun, ‘eh? Shame abaat the rest of ‘er though.” 

Ren’s masked head turned ever so slowly to his right, looking down at Ay-ro. “What do you mean?” 

“Ya kiddin’? She’s ‘ideous! She’s _so ugly!_ What the faack’s up with ‘er clothes? Looks like a blind prostitute dressed ‘er! Oh, man… ‘n them _piercin’s!_ ” 

Ay-ro gestured diagonally across his own mouth and nose to indicate where his coworker’s piercings were. 

“’Oo needs three piercin’s on their _face?_ Looks _’orrible!_ There’s no way ya actually _like_ that, Commandah? ‘Eh?” 

Kylo continued to stare as they walked. Fists clenched on either side of him, and his heart raced in anger. It was hard for him to respond calmly. “I have no feelings about them either way.” 

“Aw, ‘cmon, that ain’t a real answer!” 

“What I meant, is what do you think of her as a _coworker?_ ” It took all the master’s energy to keep his temper under control. 

“Oh.” All of a sudden, Ay-ro seemed much less enthusiastic. “Well ‘s early days but she seems aw-rite.” 

The two Force-users made their way through the depths of the Finalizer where there seemed to be almost nobody else around. They’d been alone for a while. 

“Ya know ‘oo ‘ere looks _really_ good…” Ay-ro said. The excited smirk was back on his face. “‘Oo’s that bird in medbay? Ya know the one, looks like a faackin’ _goddess?_ ‘Ed nurse or summin’?” 

“You must be talking about Sinclair.” 

“Sinclair, ‘eh? Naah _tha’s_ a bird, that is. Faackin’ _perfect_. Nearly _too_ perfect, if ya know what I mean, I mean… why the faack are ya shaggin’ _Rattigan_ when ya got birds like _that_ on this ship? ‘S crazy!” 

He paused for a moment. “Come ta fink abaat it… why does that name saand so… no, that ain’t- Sinclair - _Kedd Sinclair?_ General ‘Ux’s bird?” 

“How do you know about her?” 

“Stories go araand, ya ‘ear fings. She’s a bit of a myth actually. I’ve ‘eard General ‘Ux ain’t envied ‘alf as much for ‘is power as ‘e is for ‘is bird. Always ‘eard she was the most beautiful bird in the ‘ole galaxy. Turns aat some stories are true - don’t ya fink?” 

“She is beautiful,” Kylo said. “But she’s also not available, and she’s also _not Rissu_.” 

Eventually, they reached a nondescript door. Kylo turned to his apprentice. 

“Before we speak to Supreme Leader, there’s one last thing I must ask of you,” he said, making such an effort to keep himself restrained he sounded almost casual. 

In an instant Ren’s lightsaber was in his hand, alight and trained on Ay-ro’s throat. The younger man stiffened, shock written over his every feature, as the threat of the unstable red blade pressed him up against the wall. He didn’t take his eyes off it for a moment. Ay-ro swallowed hard, but remained outwardly calm. 

“Rissu is very sensitive about her appearance,” Kylo began. The threat dripping from his words was unmistakable even through the vocoder. He wanted almost nothing more than to sink the blade through the man’s neck, it was only what he wanted more that kept him from actually doing it. “The way she dresses makes her happy, and seeing her happy is all that matters. So I’m going to warn you only the once - if I _ever_ find out you’ve been making her feel bad about the way she looks, I won’t hesitate to kill you. Not for a second. Her well-being is more important to me than your life. Are we clear?” 

Ay-ro said nothing. He was frozen to the spot, eyes still fixed on the saber. Sweat trickled down his temples. 

“ _Are… we… clear?_ ” Kylo repeated. 

“Yeah… we’re good,” Ay-ro said. “Don’t worry.” 

He seemed to melt when the blade retracted. A hand came up to the hot, reddened strip on his throat. Still, he grinned the same grin as always. 

“Ya never know, ‘er look might grow on me.” 

Kylo seemed satisfied. He opened the door, and together the two entered the bare, cavernous room. A couple of steps behind his master, Ay-ro smiled grimly to himself, knowing he’d been given all the information he could possibly need. 

*

_Seemingly exhausted from a long, difficult day and a thorough fucking only half an hour earlier, Rissu slunk into bed next to her master. Before pulling the covers over herself, she nestled in close to Kylo._

__

__

_“G’night, you,” she said with her face buried in her lover’s chest._

_Strong arms wrapped around her delicate form, and he held her gently._

_“You’re still wearing make-up,” he said eventually._

_“Mmhm.”_

_“Will you ever be comfortable enough with me to take it off?”_

_Rissu chuckled slightly, and her warm breath tickled his skin. “I’m plenty comfortable, don’t ever think it’s that,” she said. “You don’t wanna see what’s underneath.”_

_“How much longer can you keep this up for?” Kylo asked. “You’ve been here nearly three weeks. You waste so much of your time hiding your face. It’s not practical. I’ve_ seen _your memories, I already know what you look like without it.”_

 _“It doesn’t feel real though, does it?” Rissu replied. “It’s kind of like seeing a photo of someone as a kid._ This _is the face you’ve come to know. Not the one in my memories.”_

_“Take it off.”_

_Rissu smiled. “Never.”_

_“_ Now. _” Kylo sounded more threatening._

 _“_ No! _”_

_He eased the girl off his chest and sat up straight. So did she. The look in his eyes told Rissu he was losing his patience. “When you became my apprentice you swore you’d do whatever I asked of you. I order you to take it off - NOW!”_

_Rissu looked so hurt, and it hurt him to yell at her. Why did this have to be so difficult, he thought to himself._

_“I can’t let you see me like that. You’ll leave me.”_

_“If you won’t take it off, I’ll do it myself.”_

_Kylo grabbed his apprentice, and threw her roughly on the floor. She cried out in protest while he got up, and held her down without touching her. He came closer, reaching out for the pack of wet wipes on her dresser before he knelt over her waist. When the unseen hold on her was released, Rissu fought as hard as she could but Kylo was far too strong. He held her down with ease. When he saw tears streaming down her face, remorse bit at him harshly, but he didn’t stop._

_“_ PLEASE _don’t make me do this!” she begged._

 _“Don’t make_ ME _do this!” he snarled. He ripped the package open and waited, threatening._

_Rissu stopped fighting, her breath hitched several times as she sobbed. Ever so reluctantly, she reached out and took the package. She got to her feet slowly when Kylo eased off her. She pulled off her false eyelashes, laid them on the dresser, and began to clear her face._

_When she was done she stood with her back to him and didn’t move. Delaying the inevitable. So Kylo grabbed her arm and turned her around. What he saw was exactly what he was expecting to see - someone with a fair complexion wearing no make-up. Rissu’s complexion was so fair, her natural eyebrows were much paler than the ones she drew on, and her eyelashes weren’t nearly as well-defined as the ones she’d removed only a minute before. She had a few acne scars on her chin and around her mouth. Otherwise, she looked almost the same. She wasn’t hiding any kind of disfigurement. She was beautiful._

_She began to cry again. Tears streamed down her bare face. “Look at you, you’re so disgusted you’re lost for words… I’ll make this easy for you.”_

_The rough grip on Rissu’s upper arm relented and became a more gentle touch. “What are you talking about?”_

_“You’re gonna leave- me. And that’s okay. I never expected- you to stay.”_

_Kylo frowned. “And why exactly am I supposed to be leaving you?”_

_She openly sobbed. “’Cause- I’m ugly… and you- deserve better!”_

____

____

_It hurt so much to see her like this. He pulled her close and held her tight. He shushed her gently while he stroked her head, and she cried against his chest._

_“Rissu, you’re the furthest thing from ugly I think I’ve ever seen. And I’m not just telling you what you want to hear. You really are beautiful. Believe me… if I wanted to leave, I’d leave. I’m never leaving you... I love you.”_

_Her breath caught mid-sob. Neither of them had said that before. She’d been thinking it the whole time but it was a sentiment she was afraid he wouldn’t return. She pulled away and locked eyes with her master. “You…”_

_“Yes, I meant what I said. I love you, Rissu.”_

_Her eyes brimmed with fresh tears and she threw herself back into the embrace. “Oh Kylo…” her voice cracked. “I love you too.”_

*

When Rissu opened the door to Kylo’s apartment, she was pulled into a tight embrace almost as soon as she stepped in the living room. 

“Oh wow, you must have missed me bad,” she said, grinning. 

Her master said nothing. His strong hands moved down to pull her belt off while he placed kisses along her jaw. Rissu tried to turn around but she was held far too tightly against the solid body behind her. It wasn’t long before Kylo relented, grabbed his apprentice’s wrist and pulled her into the bedroom. He finally turned to face Rissu as he pushed her down on the bed and climbed on top. He kissed her deeply for minutes on end without either coming up for breath, his body pressed against hers made her very near burn with need. 

“You’re so beautiful…” he crooned. He gazed at her adoringly. “So beautiful.” 

Rissu beamed. She reached up and ran her fingers through his raven hair. “No… _you’re_ beautiful.” 

“Just shut up and let me talk,” Kylo said. He reached behind Rissu, worked her uniform off and pulled it down. She kicked off her boots, and he pulled the dark jumpsuit off her entirely. “You’re so perfect. Look at you…” 

His eyes roved over the girl’s toned form. “Every inch of you is perfect.” 

_Right back at you, Kylo…_

He kissed her deeply again, longer than either could tell. His hand trailed up over a taut stomach and a pierced navel, dipping in between prominent ribs, moving around to her back. He removed her bra, groping hungrily at her breasts. 

“Ay-ro is right,” he said, more to himself than to her. His voice was low and lustful. “They really are huge.” 

Rissu giggled a little. She couldn’t argue with that. Kylo lowered his head and kissed the mound of one, gently, thumb passing over the metal in her left nipple over and over again. He relished the way Rissu moaned so openly, the way her chest heaved. His need was betrayed by his erection digging hard into her hip. He tore himself away long enough to pull down her panties and his own sweat pants. As he pressed the head of his cock at her wet entrance he kissed her again and again. 

Kylo eased in gently, and a low groan escaped his throat. In that moment their eyes locked together, both lit up with passion and adoration. He gave another few slow thrusts, and he was buried deep inside. He started to move smoothly, fucking her slowly, gently. 

“Fuck…” Rissu breathed. Her eyes brimmed with tears of delight. “I had no idea… before I met you… I had no idea it could be this good.” 

“What could be this good?” He never took his eyes off her for a moment. A hand came up to her cheek. 

“Any of it. This… the rest of it… _all of it_. I love you so much.” 

His movements remained steady, gentle, as he rocked into her over and over. Although they could count on one hand how many times they’d done it like this, he still had the same tears falling down his apprentice’s cheek. He struggled to hold back - he wanted, so badly, to show her what she meant to him but he _needed_ to rail her to within an inch of her life. 

“Please, Kylo…” she begged. 

His eyebrows raised questioningly. 

“Harder… I need it- need you… harder.” 

Kylo exhaled a ragged sigh, and he claimed her mouth again. Finally he broke, filled with aggression he couldn’t ignore, and began pounding into his girl mercilessly. He couldn’t hold out much longer, and neither could she. “So fucking perfect… the things you do for me, and the things you let me do to you… I could never have _dreamed_ the Force would send me someone so _dirty_ …” 

Despite the assault she was taking, Rissu was still able to smile. “I’m not the dirty one… _you_ are.” 

“No, it’s you… you’re perfect.” 

Without warning he struck her hard across the face, his expression so fierce he was practically snarling. Her head snapped to the side and her cheek stung almost unbearably, but when she turned back to face Kylo, he cupped her cheek again, thumb brushing lovingly over hot, pale skin. She was right on the edge, he could see it in her shining eyes. He lowered his head and sucked fiercely on Rissu’s throat, replacing fading marks, marking _her_ , and she finally fell. She stiffened and shook, and screamed mindlessly for so long, and so loudly anyone a mile around would hear, and Kylo never let up his pace for even a second, fucking her urgently and viciously until he could hold out no longer. He followed, emptying inside of her with a guttural moan, hot against the apprentice’s sore skin, and his movements slowed to a halt. 

For a while they stayed as they were. He knelt above her, still buried deep inside of the girl, and they gazed deeply into each others’ eyes. Every few seconds they kissed, mouth and tongues meeting ever so briefly, parted lips hovering never more than half an inch apart. 

“You really are amazing, Kylo.” 

Rissu still couldn’t believe she had the privilege of gazing into those perfect brown eyes nearly every day. For a moment her mind wandered back to the first time - such a fleeting moment. As she mused, Kylo rolled off her, and as they lay together Rissu relished the feeling of his release leaking out of her. The bedsheets beneath her grew wet. 

Kylo stood up and fixed his sweat pants. “I’m cooking you something tonight. _No complaining_ ,” he said. 

Rissu shrugged. 

“Come and pick something.” 

She stood too, pulled her panties back on, and followed her master out of the bedroom, into the kitchen. “What’s this in aid of? What was _that_ about? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. You’re just being so…” 

“Am I not always ‘so’?” Kylo asked. He grinned. “I always make an effort.” 

“I know, but I can tell when you’re making a _huge_ effort, it really shows. What’s all this about?” 

“I don’t think I tell you often enough how perfect you are. How much you mean to me.” 

Rissu smiled warmly. She sat up on the kitchen counter. “And that’s it?” 

Kylo nodded. He turned and began searching the refrigerator. 

“What do you think of Ay-ro?” he asked suddenly. His bare, muscular back was to her. 

_He seems awful._

“He seems okay.” 

His head turned. “Really? So you’re getting on okay?” 

Rissu smiled nervously. “Yeah! In fact he even gave me some advice earlier. I think… with a bit of work, you know? It’ll be great.” 

Kylo nodded, seemingly satisfied. “Come here and pick something,” he repeated. 

As she jumped off the counter and knelt down, Rissu wasn’t really paying attention to anything Kylo suggested. She thought about Ay-ro, and a sense of foreboding crept over her. First impressions weren’t everything, she knew that. Sometimes people came across the wrong way, and it was entirely possible she’d gotten the wrong idea the whole time they were together. Still… she knew his type, she’d met guys like him before. She couldn’t deny she was wary. 

_Maybe I’m wrong about him. Maybe he’s not like those other guys… how bad could he possibly be?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't realise quite how much of Ay-ro's dialogue is made up of British slang until I started writing it. I've been relying on my Discord server to help me get an idea of what words people do and don't know abroad. I had to change some because I want it to be as universal as possible. I'm pretty sure I've accidentally been using words nobody outside this country knows what they mean, and if words like that have made it in, it's unintentional.
> 
> I love Ay-ro as a character though. I thought I was gonna hate him but he's so much fun. Nobody else would allow me to talk about "General 'Ux's bird", I'm having more fun than I could ever describe with his dialogue.


	11. The Favourite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know that this story was always gonna stop being canon-compliant because we never knew what happened next. When I started writing this story I had a choice - I could wait until Ep8 came out and write it to be compliant with that, or I could try and get it done before my fic got (for want of a better word) retconned. I was hoping I'd have it finished before now but _shrug_.
> 
> I like to imagine that this fic takes place completely in between Ep7 and 8, and I like to suspend disbelief about that by imagining there's like, a good couple of years in between the events of the two movies. At the end of the day, I'm gonna keep writing this fic exactly as I always planned it and I honestly don't care that pretty soon it's gonna be massively canon-divergent. I hope anyone reading this fic can get past that too. (I just prefer my own fics to be canon-compliant that's all but I lacked the patience to wait to write this).
> 
> Just be aware that the way I plan to end this fic brings everything full-circle.
> 
> I haven't seen any of the trailers and I'm honestly fucking terrified to actually see the movie. If anything happens to Kylo I don't know how I'll handle it. I know he's not real but the way I feel about him certainly is.
> 
> About the chapter... I feel like I need to tag this one with something but I can't really find the right words. Basically, there's slightly derogatory discussion of the disabled/deceased.

“Can ya ‘and me that fuse ovah there, Ratty?” 

“Can you stop calling me that, _please?_ I’ll be a minute, just gotta screw this panel back on.” 

“I need it _naah_.” 

“If it’s that urgent why don’t you get it yourself?” 

“If ya ‘adn’t noticed I’m try’na fix the interface module so we can get the ‘eatin’ on. Jus’ ‘and it ta me, it ain’t that ‘ard- does that look like a fuse ta you, Ratty? Whatever, I’ll do it.” 

_I hate him. I hate him so fucking much._

It had only taken Rissu two months to come to fully loathe Ay-ro Talbot. She hated him for the way he mocked her clothing and piercings and the way she wore her make-up. The way he criticised nearly all her forms whenever they sparred. She hated him for talking about Gibby and Kedd - among others, like pieces of meat. How he never cared about anyone, people seemed to be just tools for him to get what he wanted. Most of all, Rissu hated the way that Ay-ro seemed to find a new way every day of implying that she _shouldn’t be Kylo Ren’s favourite apprentice_. That she shouldn’t be his apprentice at all. 

When it came right down to it, they were two _vastly_ different people. Two flavours that - not for lack of trying, would never work together. Rissu cast a dark look over to the apprentice sat in the pilot’s seat, on her left. Ay-ro was so confident - charisma in human form, and Rissu was so reserved and timid she was easily overlooked unless one had a reason to seek her out. Ay-ro had been a part of the First Order for only two months and yet he’d made more of an impact on people in that time than Rissu had in a year and a half. She was already living in his shadow. 

Their training exercise that day was an attempt on their master’s part to get the two to work together to achieve a common goal. Kylo Ren sat cross-legged on the cold metal that covered the floor of the small starship, only a few metres behind Ay-ro and Rissu, who occupied the pilot and co-pilot seats respectively. He watched them, both sat at awkward, uncomfortable angles on account of their hands being tied behind their backs, pressing into the backs of their seats, and around them floated various components of the starship, in various states of repair, along with a variety of tools, all manipulated by their telekinetic power. 

*

Kylo Ren had landed the rented starship on a barren rock, he’d refused the aid of either apprentice for the entire journey. Rissu was apprehensive, as always, when she first saw the black, empty sky, dark as space itself. She had approached the window to find a view comprised of nothing but grey rock, and craters both large and small, as far as the eye could see. The exhaust from their ship kicked up a small amount of dust, which settled somewhere in the far distance. Ay-ro joined her to look out at the monochrome expanse, and neither needed to ask to realise that they were the only three life-forms on this entire rock. 

When the engines were powered off, Kylo stood and addressed his apprentices. “This is one of the less-inhabited moons of Vittrium,” he said. “And by less-inhabited- don’t look at me like that, Rissu… by less-inhabited I mean, this moon can’t support life because it doesn’t have an atmosphere. So, we can’t leave this ship without the proper equipment.” 

“Did ya bring the propah equipment?” 

“No. If we were to find ourselves stranded… on this moon… we’d survive for only as long as this ship’s oxygen supply lasted.” 

And then, surprisingly methodically for a man who habitually trashed equipment with a lightsaber when he saw red, Kylo made his way around the ship, pulled away panels here and there and ripped out very specific parts, in very specific places by use of the Force. More than once he pulled out a component and dismantled it fully. Rissu stared on in shock while Ay-ro’s composure never changed. Several minutes passed with no words exchanged between the three. 

“We _are_ stranded,” Kylo continued. “This ship won’t fly again until someone fixes it.” 

“An’ tha’s us, right?” 

Kylo nodded once. 

Rissu felt an all-too familiar panic spark inside her very core. “Are you kidding? I dunno about Ay-ro, but _I_ can’t do that! I don’t know _anything_ about engineering!” 

Kylo reached into a knapsack by one of the bunk beds and pulled out a small stack of flimsi. “Which is why I’ve given you instructions on exactly how to repair it,” he said. “Along with spare parts. Everything I removed… how to fix everything, how to _replace_ everything, is described here.” 

“But… Supreme Leader knows we’re here, right?” Rissu asked. “Someone from the First Order _knows_ were here - they can come and get us if we can’t get it fixed… we can call for help, yeah?” 

“No. Our comlinks are on the Finalizer, and I’ve disabled the interface module. If you want to call for help, you’ll need to fix it.” 

“Well… I guess we can do that, can’t we?” 

Rissu glanced over to Ay-ro for reassurance, but he responded with a poker face. 

The girl reached out for the flimsi, but her master kept hold. “I have two more conditions,” he continued. “You won’t be able to use your hands. And the second…” 

He reached out, and clenched his gloved hand into a fist around the air. Rissu felt the change instantly - she’d experienced this a couple of times before. Whatever machine had been maintaining standard gravity had been deactivated. It was uncomfortable, to say the least. 

“Shit… this feels wrong…” she whimpered under her breath. 

“You’re both very strong with the Force, and you’re both experienced, so the change in gravity should provide a new challenge. You should get started soon, I believe we have three days worth of oxygen.” 

*

The apprentices’ hands were finally freed when they finished working for the day. Rissu sat perched on the top half of one of two bunk beds, and stretched out her arms, relishing the freedom of movement she’d been denied all day. She’d eventually gotten somewhat used to the feeling of her body existing in such low gravity, and for that she was glad. It was still hard to keep anything down - it was hard to eat at all, actually, given she hadn’t had the use of her hands for hours. She looked down when the refresher door opened, and Ay-ro jumped, and floated lazily to the top of the opposite bunk. He reached out to put his hands to the ceiling, and pushed himself gently down to lie on the bed. 

She’d seen Ay-ro in only sweat pants many times before, and no matter how much she hated the man, she had to admit he had a great body. All toned muscle and olive skin. Again, nothing compared to Kylo Ren’s sheer muscle, but any girl would feel lucky to have him. Before they got to know him, that was. 

“I think we should fix the gravity stabiliser first thing tomorrow,” Rissu said, breaking the uncomfortable silence between the two of them. “It’ll make everything else easier.” 

“Could do.” 

“We’ve had way more important things to work on first…” 

Rissu shot a glance down to the bottom bunk. From where she sat, she couldn’t see her master at all, but she could feel the serenity of his slumber through the Force, and his soft snores told her he was sound asleep already. 

“Do you think… d’you think Kylo would’ve let us freeze to death if we couldn’t get the interface working? D’you think he’ll let us die here if we run out of air?” 

”What do _you_ fink?” 

“I think he’s always had more faith in my abilities than he should have. He thinks I can do more than I really can, and he pushes me until I _can_ do it. I hate to think he’d put himself in real danger based on that.” 

“Ya don’t fink ‘e’s got _any_ kinda fallback? Ya fink ‘e were _actually_ tellin’ the truth when ‘e said ‘e don’t ‘ave a com? Yer aat of yer mind if ya fink that.” 

“I like to think you’re right. It’s probably a test of my ability to work under pressure, in part… He gets us to do pretty crazy things for training, you know that as well as I do… so it wouldn’t surprise me.” 

Ay-ro sat up straight, and swung his legs over the edge of the bunk. “Wha’s the craziest fing Mastah Kylo’s ever ‘ad _you_ do?” 

“You really wanna know?” 

Ay-ro nodded excitedly. 

Rissu leaned forwards. “So I go planetside to the labs every month or so, keep all the stuff I learned at the university fresh, right? One time Kylo asked me to break into the department that works on all the experimental weapons… and steal one - a specific one, and bring it back unnoticed.” 

Ay-ro cackled in mirth. “No faackin’ way!” 

“Oh yeah. What he didn’t tell me though, was he’d told _them_ there was gonna be a break-in. They had ‘troopers everywhere!” 

“Did ya steal it?” 

“I made a good effort! I got in, but they caught me trying to find the right weapon. It all took a while to explain… they didn’t believe me so Kylo had to _come down_ and _vouch_ for me… never again, I swear to the Maker… so… how about you? What’s the craziest thing he’s had you do so far?” 

“’E asked me ta kill me parents.” 

Rissu leaned back. Her eyes were wide. She couldn’t ever begin to describe how relieved she’d always been that Kylo Ren had promised to never ask that of _her_. “Holy shit!” she cried. 

“Yeah, like _‘is_ master ‘ad ‘im try ‘n do.” 

“Did you…” 

Ay-ro grinned wickedly. “Kill ‘em? Tha’s what made it so faackin’ funny. I already killed ‘em _years_ ago! Ya shoulda seen ‘is face when I told ‘im!” 

“Gods… what the fuck made you want to kill your _parents?_ ” 

“Long story, Ratty.” 

“We’ve got time.” 

“Fine, fine…” 

The two leaned in, trying to close the gap between them as much as possible. 

“I guess it all comes daan ta me brother, Su-ur. ‘E was _really_ demandin’, needed a lot of me folks’ time. ‘E were abaat fifteen years oldah ‘n me, but it didn’t mattah. ‘E ‘ad some kinda learnin’ disability… ‘n it were kinda bad. ‘E needed ‘elp with everyfin’, right daan ta dressin’ n’ usin’ the ‘freshah, so after I was born I fink me folks kinda forgot I existed. _Never_ gave a shit abaat me. Ya know summin’… they couldn’t even tell me what faackin’ _planet_ I was born on.” 

“Geez, that must’ve been hard.” 

“Yeah, it was! I tried _everyfin’_ ta get _some_ kinda… _compliment_ … or _summin’_ , from ‘em, but it were always abaat Su-ur.” 

His words were loaded with venom. The expression on his otherwise handsome face was so dark. Overwhelmingly dark. Something about him in that moment unsettled Rissu more than usual, but still, she listened intently. 

“Growin’ up with ‘im was a faackin’ nightmare, it really was. Of course I ‘ad ta ‘elp aat with lookin’ aftah Su-ur. On the weekends, when all me friends were aat gettin’ laid. Missed aat on a lot growin’ up.” 

“So... you killed them because they didn’t care?” 

“I ain’t done, Ratty, I ain’t done! I ‘fink I were abaat fifteen, sixteen maybe, when Su-ur actually died. Ya see, ‘e couldn’t leave the ‘ouse on ‘is own or ‘e wouldn’t be able ta find ‘is way back. ‘N ya got muggers ta watch aat fer in the ‘Aater Rim. I remembah we were livin’ on Tattooine when ‘e got aat. Someone left the door unlocked ‘n no one was watchin ‘im. Mum thought it was quiet ‘cause ‘e was watchin’ the ‘OloNet, ‘n by then ‘e was _long_ gone. We nevah faand a body.” 

When Ay-ro paused, the silence on board the starship was agonising. “What happened?” 

“Dunno exactly, but we ‘ad a good idea abaat it. Fink ‘e got pulled aside by a bunch-a muggers, 'n when they realised 'e was retarded they 'arvested 'im. There’s an _'uge_ undergraand trade in ‘uman organs there. So it makes sense we nevah faand a body. ‘E didn't stand a chance.” 

“Oh, gods,” Rissu whispered. Her eyes were brimming with tears, and she was glad it was too dark for Ay-ro to notice. “I’m so sorry, Ay-ro.” 

“Don’t be. I ‘ated ‘im, I’m glad 'e’s dead. Fings were a bit better aftah that, yanno, with ‘im aat the way, but me parents, they just kinda…” 

Ay-ro trailed off, and shrugged. He stared blankly out the window into the empty darkness that pressed down on the starship from all sides. He couldn’t see anything, neither of them could. There was nothing to see. But he stared anyway. 

“All they evah thought abaat was Su-ur. Ya fink I’m jus’ bein’ dramatic, I know ya do, but let me tell ya… when I faand aat I were Force-sensitive, and I began workin’ on me powers, I could see what they was finkin’, and it really was _always abaat ‘im_.” An’ I’d worked so faackin’ ‘ard… I got me the best grades ta try’n make ‘em praad-a me. I coulda gone ta Druemer University too, ya know. I coulda been a doctah. I didn’t see no point aftah that. They nevah cared, so I didn’t care no more. Jus’ kinda stopped everyfin, crashed with friends, didn’t wanna see ‘em no more. Fink the Force came fer me when I was at me lowest. I fink it does, for some of us. It felt like… like there was someone in the room with me. Tha’s how it felt at first.” 

“What then?” 

“I did what anyone woulda done. I did what _you_ did. I began ta understand me powers, and aftah that I worked on ‘em. With this gift… it’s so rare, so… amazin’, I thought _finally_ I could get some kinda rise aat me folks. Guess what? They didn’t give a shit. ‘N that was kinda it fer me. If they loved Su-ur so much, they could faack off ‘n be with ‘im again.” 

“Maker…” 

“’N I know yer real close with yer own folks so ya probably got a pretty bad opinion ‘a me right naah.” 

_I dunno, I didn’t think my opinion of you could get any worse._

Rissu said nothing. 

“But fings really did get bettah aftah that.” 

“By the sound of it, you got closure,” the girl said somewhat awkwardly. 

“Yeah…” 

“Closure’s important.” 

The two fell silent. While Ay-ro settled into a more comfortable position on his bunk, he began to meditate. His energy sent a chill through Rissu’s body while she dropped her gaze and stared aimlessly into her lap. Eventually, she dropped off the edge of the bunk and floated slowly to the floor. 

“Well… goodnight Ay-ro,” she said as she climbed carefully in the lower bunk and wrapped her arms around Kylo’s sleeping form. It had been a stressful day for many different reasons, but watching her master, her love, so peaceful in sleep relaxed her. Being close to him, and feeling the warmth from his body was all she needed. 

Before she pulled the covers back over them both and closed her eyes, she glanced up at Ay-ro, still meditating. 

_And people call_ Kylo Ren _a monster…_

*

Rissu woke to the same lights in the starship that she’d fallen asleep under, and the same darkness outside the windows, yet she felt appropriately rested, so she must’ve slept for several hours. She decided that maybe it was always dark on this moon. The second thing she noticed was that standard gravity had been restored, which relieved her greatly. She woke next to her master who was still fast asleep. Rissu brushed aside his soft hair and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead, before climbing out of bed carefully, so she didn’t disturb him, and approached the cockpit. Ay-ro was already there, already in his chromium armour - now his uniform, already working hard. Thankfully he wasn’t wearing his creepy mask. Tools, metal, glass and electronics floated around his head quickly, each headed for a different destination. The apprentice, meanwhile, sat with his hands on his thighs, dead set on upholding the conditions Kylo had asked of them. 

“Ay-ro, what are-” 

”Shhh,” Ay-ro cut her off instantly. “I’m nearly done, we can get aat-a here in a few.” 

Rissu looked around, at all the panels that last night were still bare, their contents waiting to be worked on _today_. She sat down in the co-pilots seat. “How long have you been up for? We were supposed to do this _together_. Kylo’s not gonna be happy.” 

“Yeah, ‘e’d be much ‘appier if we told ‘im it _was_ a team effort. I jus’ wanna get off this rock, and so do you, and I ain’t waitin’ araand fer you to figure aat what the faack yer doin’, we’ll probably suffocate by then anyway. Ya were ‘oldin the entire fing up. I’m the only one a-the two of us with engineerin’ experience, so it _makes sense_ fer me ta do it. Ya can ‘elp me by screwin’ on the panels.” 

The girl was defeated before she’d even begun to fight. She didn’t have the will to argue, not here, not today. So she complied with her co-worker’s request - she set her own hands on her lap and lifted the components into the air. 

It was only a few minutes before Kylo woke, too. He approached the cockpit just as Rissu placed the last of the spare parts into their respective bags. “You’re finished already?” he asked, unable to hide his surprise. He bent down and kissed Rissu’s cheek. 

Ay-ro nodded proudly, and swivelled around to his master. “Yeah, me ‘n Ratty got up early. We didn’t use our ‘ands, I promise! ‘Ope you ain’t mad.” 

“Rissu, is this true?” Kylo looked down at the blond, whose eyes were wide. 

“Of course, we didn’t tape each other up but neither of us-” 

“What I meant is, did you work that well together?” 

Her eyes flicked briefly over to Ay-ro, whose flat, stony expression was threatening. 

“Yeah… yeah, it was his idea though. He woke me up and… we both just wanted to get off this moon sooner rather than later.” 

Kylo went from panel to panel, assessing their work. He tested the interface. The ship needed to go back to its owner in perfect condition, and by the looks of it, the two had been meticulous. 

He could sense in his girl’s emotions that something was wrong. He’d suspected for a couple of months that she was out of sorts. For a while he’d suspected Ay-ro had something to do with it, given the way he’d spoken about her, but whenever he questioned Rissu she insisted that Ay-ro wasn’t making her feel bad. And Rissu would never lie to him. So, he chose to trust her. He knew she’d been very sick in the past, before they’d met, and he did all he could to make sure she didn’t decline again. 

“In that case, I’m impressed,” he said. “Ay-ro, take a break. Rissu, I want you to help me fly the ship back. We’re going home.” 

*

*

“He held my hands behind my back so he could tape them up. And when he tied them, you just _know_ what I was thinking. What _he_ was thinking. He got himself so close behind me, he started going at my neck… he wanted me… and I wanted him. Then Ay-ro kinda cleared his throat like we’d forgotten he was there, and it brought us back to reality. Habit, and all that. And you just know if he wasn’t there, we’d have fucked over the console.” 

“Geez, are you able to do anything other than _moan_ about Ay-ro?” 

“Sorry Gibby.” 

“But it all went well apart from that?” 

“Uhh…” 

Rissu leaned her head back on the couch. Gibby’s apartment was much smaller than that of any of the Force-users, but it did the job just as well. Despite the fact that they didn’t technically have any command over anyone in the First Order, Rissu and Ay-ro were actually very high-ranking, just beneath their master in the hierarchy. 

“He did all the work himself. He said I was getting in the way and we’d be done quicker if I wasn’t involved.” 

“But you _did_ get done quicker.” 

“Gibby, that’s not the point. It’s the same thing, over and over, and I’m getting sick of it. He’s _always_ making some snide remark about how I can’t do _this_ , or I’m shit at _that_. He knows I’m not Commander material, he knows I’m not a good leader. And he’s not shy about reminding me.” 

“There’s still time. You’ve got years still to work on that.” 

“That’s not the… why are you _defending_ Ay-ro all of a sudden? I thought you were on my side.” 

“I don’t take ‘sides’. Yeah, I’ve listened to what you’ve said, but I’ve also gotten to know him on my own. If you didn’t have so much of a barrier up about him you’d realise he’s actually quite…” 

“Charming.” Rissu finished her sentence, the word loaded with derision. _Of course_ he'd have made Gibby think that of him. 

“Yeah, he is! Look…” 

Gibby raked her fingers through her chestnut hair, and leaned forwards. 

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about actually. We’ve gotten close and Ay-ro asked me if I wanted to take it to the next level.” 

Rissu’s pencilled eyebrows raised. “He asked you out?” 

Gibby nodded. “Is that all right with you? If I went for it?” 

The blond shrugged. “Hey, I’m not gonna tell you who you can and can’t date. If you wanna be with him, you don’t need my blessing. I just didn’t expect him to spring for a girlfriend all of a sudden… he’s been fucking all the girls he can get since he arrived here. Just… be careful, please. I know his type. He’s gonna fuck you over and throw you aside when he gets bored.” 

”You don’t know that Rissu. You always think the worst of him.” 

“Maybe you’re right. I hope you’re right.” 

The two were silent for a while. 

“Kylo helped him build his lightsaber, you know that?” Rissu said eventually. “From scratch.” 

“And you got yours fully-built,” Gibby added. She rolled her eyes as though bored with the discussion. “I remember. I was the one who gave it to you. I’m going out on a limb here, but I’m guessing you’re gonna moan about that, too? Have you even brought it up with Commander Ren if it bothers you that much?” 

_That’s cold._

“Hey, you can’t blame me for being insecure. Kylo said… he said he didn’t know it was that big of a deal to me, and he said we could take mine apart, together, and re-build it. I guess that’s okay.” 

Gibby’s expression was dark. She shifted on the couch. “And you never considered just letting Ay-ro have this one?” she snapped. “It never occurred to you that he’s _just_ as threatened that you'll always be Commander Ren’s favourite, no matter how hard he tries? See, that’s what pisses me off most about you. You have it so damn good compared to everyone else here, and you still complain about _everything!_ You have _no idea_ how much better you have it!” 

Her words cut Rissu to the core. “Whoa, where’s _this_ coming from? You’ve never… if it was bothering you so much, you should’ve… said something.” 

“It _didn’t_ bother me. I could forgive it. I could let it all slide until now. It’s not fair. You never went through the Academy, you never had to go through what the rest of us did!” 

She spoke fiercely, passionately. “You just walked in through the front door and got where you are because Commander Ren took a liking to you! You didn’t have to put in _any_ effort to get where you are! You don’t even have to be afraid of HIM!” 

Rissu shrunk back against the couch. She felt betrayed. “Not you too, Gibby… I _never_ thought you’d hold that against me. I thought you were my friend! Let me guess… you don’t think I’d have made it through the Academy either?” 

The brunette shook her head. “As a matter of fact, I don’t. You always cry about how there’s no one else like you on this Star Destroyer - that’s because they all get weeded out the DAY they join the Academy!” 

Rissu stood. Her limbs shook violently. “So you’re saying I don’t belong here? That it’s only because of Kylo that I’m still here?” 

Gibby leaned back and shook her head. It was clear she’d lost the patience to argue. “I never said ANY of that. The only person who said that was you.” 

“Fuck you Gibby. I thought you were my friend.” 

And with that, Rissu stormed out of the apartment, and down the deserted corridor. Her heart raced, and hot tears welled up in her eyes. She leaned back against the black wall, and screamed into the empty space. Her right hand went for her lightsaber on her belt, and she held it in a trembling hand, so tight it hurt. 

_I can see why Kylo trashes everything now._

Her thumb hovered over the power button, even the wall in front of her would do. But she never powered on the weapon. She decided taking her anger out on the wall was a waste of her energy. She’d let out her anger in a more productive manner. So, she made her way to the gym, and when she was there, made for one of the training rooms. She’d work on her forms. 

Not bothering to check whether the room was occupied, Rissu opened the door to find the room bathed in red light, and overwhelmed by the mixed stench of burned flesh and plastoid. Ay-ro, in his full armour and mask, stood over a huge body, his lightsaber drawn and activated, reflected over and over in an array of mirrored walls. Rissu could tell from the corpse’s uniform that they were a stormtrooper. 

Suddenly Rissu forgot all about her fight with Gibby. Her own weapon slipped from her hand and hit the padded floor with a quiet thud. “What happened here? Did you kill them?” 

Ay-ro said nothing. His red blade retracted, and Rissu knelt down to the ‘trooper. She rolled the body over and noted a burned hole in his barrel chest that penetrated the front and back of his white armour. The rest of his body seemed to be intact. 

“Who was he?” Rissu asked. She looked up at Ay-ro’s lithe form looming over her. 

“Dunno, nevah thought ta find aat,” came the modulated voice. “Fink you knew ‘im though.” 

The blond’s very limbs chilled at Ay-ro’s words. 

_Please, don’t let him be GA. He can’t be GA. Maker, please._

She didn’t want to pull off the helmet - if she didn’t, then she’d never know for sure. As if that would stop it being true. All the same, hands still shaking, she pulled it off. When she did, she recognised the face of her friend right away, and felt as though she too had been impaled by Ay-ro’s blade. 

“Oh gods… Twenty.” 


	12. The Leader

Between the crudely-sculpted mask that stared down at her with eyeless scrutiny, and the final expression on GA-0020’s face, Rissu didn’t know where to look. She didn’t know what to do. Bile rose in her throat, but when she opened her mouth only one quiet word forced its way out. 

“...Why?” 

“I ‘ad ta, Rissu. ‘E was a dead man no matter what I did, ya gotta understand that.” 

”…What do you mean?” Her voice shook as violently as the rest of her. 

“’E was in love with ya,” Ay-ro said. “I saw it in ‘is ‘ead.” 

“ _Twenty?_ Get the fuck out of here, I knew him, I’ve seen what he was thinking. He didn’t think about me that way. Not _once_ did he-” 

Ay-ro squatted down. The Force-users were separated only by the stormtrooper’s corpse now. “Ya don’t understand. Ya ain’t as strong in the dark side as me. Us… whatever we are… when it comes as naturally ta us as it does fer me… we see more’n other Force-users do. Ya wouldn’t-a seen what ‘e was really finkin’. Mastah Kylo wouldn’t-a seen it. ‘E were ‘idin’ it from ya well.” 

”So you fucking KILLED HIM?” 

“’E was better off dyin’ this way. I made it quick fer ‘im. And ya _know_ if Mastah Kylo faand aat a 'troopah was in love with ‘is bird, ‘e wouldn’t-a done that fer ‘im.” 

“Why didn’t you book him in for reconditioning? He didn’t have to die!” 

“That wouldn’t-a been enough fer Mastah Kylo. Ya know that. ‘E’d ‘ave seen ‘im dead either way.” 

Ay-ro stared intently at the girl as she slowly began to take in what had happened, and what had been said. His head tilted to the side, ever so slightly, as she began to cry. 

“Ratty, stop cryin’ it’s jus’ a stormtroopah.” 

“To you, maybe!” Rissu yelled. Her tear-stricken face was fierce. “He was still human! He was my friend! He wasn’t a disposable thing, Ay-ro! And _stop calling me Ratty!_ ” 

“If ya gonna yell at me I ain’t gonna listen ta ya.” 

“Then don’t! Com medbay, get them to come and pick him up, just get out of here, Ay-ro!” 

Ay-ro obliged gladly, standing up and crossing the room. He closed the door behind Rissu, who still knelt, now openly bawling over GA-0020’s body. 

*

*

Stormtrooper training wasn’t as enjoyable for Rissu these days as when she first got involved. Of course, it wasn’t _supposed_ to be fun, but it certainly had been for her. She’d surprised everyone with her ability to command the squadrons, but nobody more so than herself. To learn that she really did have what it took to be a Commander like Kylo was truly affirming - she improved more and more with every training exercise, and so did the ‘troopers. The only thing she really ever lacked was confidence. 

Having Ay-ro on board seemed like a fantastic idea at the very beginning. It was double the experience for the squadrons in working against Force-users, and they were often given the opportunity to watch the two spar, and learn how they fought on the battlefield. They would even split the ‘troopers into two groups with a Force-user in command of each, and compete against each other. In reality, it had been terrible. At least, in Rissu’s opinion. Since Ay-ro had been involved, he’d stolen the show entirely, and Rissu existed only in his shadow. Her developing skill was nothing compared to his natural talent, so naturally, she’d been more or less forgotten about. 

When the shuttles returned from Malastare and landed in the Finalizer’s main hangar, one by one, Rissu was actually glad the exercise was over. Ay-ro blew all her efforts out of the water without even trying. In her heart, she knew it was important to focus on what she’d accomplished already, but being completely overshadowed by him, in every single way was truly disheartening. 

Rissu only lingered to say goodbye to Captain Phasma, and after that she left to wait in the hangar for her friends to return. Today was GA-0020’s memorial. Generally speaking, nobody cared about the death of an individual stormtrooper outside of their clique, so it was only down to his friends’ initiative that a memorial had been organised at all. 

When their transporter landed and finally opened, the ‘troopers made their way over to where the Force-user stood. Rissu closed the distance between them and stood on tiptoe to embrace the tallest of the seven - GA-0591. They made their way to the dorm without saying anything, and the silence was only broken when Rissu removed her helmet and set it down by the door. The ‘troopers followed suit. 

“How are you guys holding up?” Rissu asked. 

“Been better, that’s for sure,” GA-0626 said. She held her mask in her arms. “You… looked like you were suffering out there.” 

Rissu bit her lip anxiously. “I don’t know how he does it. When he got here he’d never even _heard_ of a lightsaber, and now… well, you saw him. He’s been here for what, two months? I can’t handle a saber like that and I’ve been training for a year and a half.” 

“Don’t let him get to you,” 0591 said darkly. After what happened three days earlier, Ay-ro’s name was mud within not only 0020’s clique, but the GA squadron as a whole. He sank down on a lower bunk. “You’re doing a great job, Talbot’s just… well, you have to bargain with the gods to get combat skills like that, I’d wager.” 

“I should be that good too.” 

“ _No one_ can be that good. It might not be what you wanna hear, but it’s true. You need to concentrate on _your_ progress. Remember, you’re still better at using the Force than he is.” 

Rissu smiled weakly, and sat down next to 0591. “I can’t shake the feeling he was aiming blaster fire at me deliberately. But I’m just being paranoid, aren’t I?” 

“No, we were all thinking it,” 0133 placed a hand on Rissu’s arm. “We thought there was some kind of understanding between you…” 

“No understanding, just Ay-ro being-” 

“An asshole.” 

“I wouldn’t go _that_ -” 

“Stop defending him!” 0591 snapped. “After everything he’s done! After what he did to Twenty!” 

Tears welled in Rissu’s eyes again. “I know, 0591!” she cried, her voice breaking. “ _I fucking know!_ ” 

“He wasn’t in love with you,” he said. “We all know that. He’d have said something. Twenty died for nothing!” 

“None of it makes sense,” 0626 said in a deadpan voice. She picked up the framed image of GA-0020 from the centre of the coffee table. If it wasn’t for befriending Rissu, who owned an imager, they wouldn’t have had a single holo of him. “He was lying, that much is obvious. Why did Talbot kill him? What could he possibly gain from it?” 

Rissu sniffled a couple of times. “I don’t know. I’m gonna find out though. I’m gonna get to the bottom of this.” 


	13. She Breaks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, if I've done this right, it's gonna get kind of dark and intense from here on out. Read the tags and all that, but content warning for general mental illness relapse/breakdowns and suicidal ideation. Much of the narrative is from her perspective so it's really supportive of her feelings. Just a heads-up.
> 
> Also tacky safe word is tacky.

For once the two made very little noise as they fucked in the middle of the bedroom floor. Kylo Ren positively hummed in delight while he rocked into Rissu’s ass slowly, gently, placed light kisses on her neck. He knelt possessively over her form, trapping her on her elbows and knees, his weight forcing her chest to the ground, his heart pounding delightfully against her back. On occasion Rissu winced in discomfort - of course, they’d done everything right. Textbook perfect. All the same, this wasn’t at all how she’d imagined it would feel. She always thought she’d enjoy it.

“Kylo?” she said tentatively. “This was a mistake… can we stop?”

He kept his pace, seemingly lost inside of his apprentice. Words like those carried no weight during sex, not for them.

Rissu winced again. She turned her head a little more to the side. “I’m serious. Stop, _please_.”

Again, he ignored her. The girl rolled her eyes.

“ _Ben!_ ” she said sharply.

At the mention of the safe word, Kylo’s movements stopped immediately. He pulled out and knelt in place while Rissu managed to roll onto her back.

“Thanks…” she said.

“Is there a problem?” Kylo asked. He looked down at the blond, frowning slightly. “Did I hurt you?”

“No, it was all fine, we did everything right. Just… it didn’t feel good. At all. I like having something _in there_ but I definitely don’t like that. I’m really sorry.”

Kylo bent down and kissed his apprentice. He smiled, and rough fingers weaved through fine, fair hair. “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. If I thought I could’ve held out I’d have held out, but I… it was just too weird.”

“It was a good idea, but there’s a thousand other things we can do together, we don’t have to do that. We can put it behind us.”

The two began to dress, the moment more or less spoiled too much for either to want to continue.

“What’s the plan for me and Ay-ro today?” Rissu asked. She pulled her jumpsuit up over her legs and over her shoulders.

“I need to leave the ship, as you know,” Kylo said. His perfect, dark eyes flashed suddenly with excitement, and Rissu knew exactly why. After months of tireless work, the First Order had finally tracked down Luke Skywalker and Rey, and of course, Kylo was going in for the kill. Today was the day they’d see justice served. The girl shot Kylo a quick smile in support. Both apprentices were staying behind. It was far too dangerous for them to come, and Kylo wouldn't put either of their lives at risk.

“I’ll be back tonight, if everything goes to plan. Today I’d like you to teach Ay-ro something.”

Rissu frowned slightly. “What can I teach him?”

“He needs to learn how to shut us out. Us, and Supreme Leader. It’s a privacy we all have, and it’s only fair he has the same. Do you still remember how I taught you?”

The girl nodded hesitantly. “Yeah, I remember.”

_This isn’t gonna end well._

Rissu had never looked in her coworker’s mind. Just listening to the thoughts he chose to give a voice to was bad enough. Gods only knew what he was keeping to himself.

Kylo noticed Rissu’s vacant stare, lost in thought, and felt her trepidation. “…You don’t think you can do it?”

Her eyes snapped back to his. “No it’ll be easy, it’s just…”

Kylo stared on questioningly.

“Nah, I’ll be fine.”

Rissu reached out for her com. “You go - have fun, and give them hell for me.”

*

The two apprentices knelt in the middle of the training room, knees touching. Ay-ro stared at his coworker with a face of stone, but all the same, closed his eyes and let his body relax.

“Okay, I’m gonna go into your mind now,” Rissu said nervously. She closed her eyes too, not as though relaxing, but as though bracing herself for some kind of injury. “The idea is to push me out while I’m in there. After that it should come naturally to shut me - or any Force-user, out before they get in.”

After that, she entered with the ease that came from constant practice. She began to root around, actively, reluctantly. She had to, it was the only way she’d know Ay-ro was making any progress. A sigh of relief passed her lips quietly when she found the man’s thoughts to be ordinary.

_Maybe this won’t be so bad after all._

Rissu watched memories play out of Ay-ro training - from his point of view. She watched him spar with Kylo Ren, who worked hard to keep up and complimented him enthusiastically, watched him training alone with droids and felt the raw power coursing through his bloodstream as he ripped them limb from limb with his mind. Watched him training with _her_. She felt his frustration when she made crucial mistakes in her form, felt his loathing for her when he knocked her saber out of her hands, and felt the control he exercised to not finish her off right then and there as she scrambled to pick up her weapon.

( _An’ ‘ere you are, teachin’_ me.)

__The sudden voice in Ay-ro’s mind made Rissu jump. She nodded even though he wouldn’t see her do it. “Well, yeah. I’m just passing on what I know while Kylo’s away.”_ _

( _Ya still got no place tellin’ me ‘ow ta do this job._ ) 

__“I know.”_ _

( _Ya dunno what yer doin’. We both know that. Everyone knows that._ ) 

__The girl swallowed hard. She didn’t like where this was going. “C’mon Ay-ro… you can do this, I _know_ you can. C’mon, shut me out.”_ _

( _Ya can pretend ya don’t ‘ear me all ya want. It’s still true._ ) 

__She chose not to respond. It was true, she knew that, he knew she knew that. She continued to search Ay-ro’s memories, not really paying all that much attention to the hazy recollection of a night out on Coruscant where he evidently drank his liver into submission. If she’d paid attention it would’ve surprised her that the girl he took back to his hotel room was only somewhat attractive._ _

( _Ya get ta be ‘is favourite no mattah_ ‘ow _much ya fuck up. Tell me, ‘ow’s that fair?_ ) 

_Please don’t do this…_

__“Kylo doesn’t play favourites. We’re together, of course he’s gonna see me differently, please don’t take that personally. But when we train he sees us as equals. I have no doubt he knows you’re stronger than I am.”_ _

( _’E’s still buildin’_ you _up ta be Commandah. ‘E still wants_ you in charge-a me, when ya ain’t got what it takes.)

“You’ll have to take that up with him, not me.”

It became clear to Rissu that Ay-ro was making no effort to shut her out. She doubted he’d have any trouble with it whatsoever, when he finally decided to do it. In the meantime, he was making the most of Rissu being in his mind, and there was nothing she could do about it.

( _Why’s Mastah Kylo still with ya? Ya ain’t got nuffin on any other bird on this ship. I see ‘im lookin’, ya know. I ear ‘im_ wishin’ _.”_ )

_That’s a lie. It has to be. He has to be fucking with me._

She opened her eyes to find Ay-ro staring intently. “That’s a lie,” she said.

A vision of a masked Kylo appeared at the forefront of Ay-ro’s mind. The two men discussed Kedd, and Kylo remarked that she was beautiful. Rissu stiffened as though she’d been shot at with a blaster, and a quiet whimper escaped her.

“Of- of course he’d think that, he’s only human. Everyone knows she’s the most beautiful woman in the galaxy. I think I’d be more worried if he _didn’t_ say that.”

Ay-ro cocked his head to the side, still staring fixedly at her.

( _Tell yerself that all ya like. Ya don’t saand so sure. ‘E’s wanted ta leave ya fer a_ long time _. It’s ‘ard when ya work so close together. I don’t blame ‘im… no one in their right mind would want ya.”_ )

“Please, Ay-ro, let’s not do this,” Rissu said. “We’ve gotten off track. We’re here to achieve something. Come on, just try and shut me out and then we can get out of here.” 

( _Don’t like ta swallow the medicine, do ya? Ya might ‘ave a good body now but I can tell ya used ta be fat. Surprised ya show off yer arse at all with all them stretch marks on it._ ) 

“I know your type, and I know there’s no pleasing some people.” 

Ay-ro’s thoughts began to fade out, as though he was finally putting his mind to the task. 

( _Oh no, we’re easy to please. If I were that ‘ard ta please I wouldn’t fuck so many birds araand ‘ere. Men jus’ don’t like thin ‘air like you got._ ) 

Rissu’s heart pounded so hard she was sure Ay-ro could hear it in the quiet room and she was certain he could feel her distress. “There’s nothing I can do about that.” 

( _Guess yer fucked then, ain’t ya? Ya should give yerself a fightin’ chance and_ at least _take aat them piercin’s…_ ) 

Then, suddenly, there was nothing. Clearly Ay-ro had achieved what he set out to, and turned his attention to their task. He shut her out easily. Rissu exhaled a long and ragged breath, her whole body shaking. She probed tentatively at her coworker’s mind, working hard to find a way back in. It relieved her immensely to find there was none. He’d shut _her_ out, at least, and it would be Supreme Leader’s job to test his mind against a more powerful Force-user. 

“Well… I think you’ve done it,” Rissu said. She tried to ignore the way her legs trembled as she stood up from the mat, and she didn’t look at the man still knelt there. “Well done. I’m gonna go home and meditate… if you wanna spar… or anything… just com me, okay?” 

Ay-ro’s shit-eating smile returned. “Yeah, fanks fer yer ‘elp. I’ll be seein’ ya.” 

Rissu was gone without another word. She didn’t want to spend a second longer around Ay-ro than she absolutely had to. Now she was ready to admit he was an asshole. She made her way quickly through busy corridors, ignoring everyone around her. She just wanted to get home and get meditating. When she punched in the code to access her own apartment, she decided that Ay-ro was an evil man, one who must derive his power from his hatred for everything and everyone. Now that she thought about it, Rissu struggled to think of a single person Ay-ro seemed to actually like within the First Order alone. He showed no affection towards Gibby, at least not in public. He didn’t even seem to be that fond of Kylo Ren, despite the fact that he was growing on their master quickly. He seemed to tolerate everyone as long as there was something they could offer him. But none of that stopped him from being right. 

_It’s not fair_ , she thought to herself, anger welling up inside her so fiercely it hurt. She fought away tears. _It’s not fair! Why do I have to look like this? Why do I have to be so useless at my job? Why can’t I be better than I am?_

Thoughts of meditation slipped her mind entirely, and she made for the refresher. She stood in front of the mirror, scrutinising every tiny detail she saw in the reflection before her. Now that she did, she couldn’t stop herself from crying silently at the sight. She really was hideous. There was only so much make-up could hide. She ran fingers slowly through her fair hair. Ay-ro was right, he didn’t need to tell her for her to know it, she’d known it all along. The strands weren’t just fine, they were nearly transparent, and she saw her fingers clearly behind them. Hair had never really grown properly at all at her temples. Just a few of the reasons she’d hidden it all under wigs for so long… and they were all back home on Druemer now. She ditched them for Kylo’s sake, he’d always told her he liked her real hair more. 

She didn’t deserve Kylo. The gods had looked upon her so kindly when they’d decided that he and Rissu should be together, and she repaid him by wearing metal in her face. Her gaze dropped to the ring in her reflection’s lip. What was she _thinking?_ She took the ring out urgently, as though it might suddenly kill her. She was probably the only person in the whole galaxy older than thirteen who had a lip ring. She stared with satisfaction at the tiny hole, and at the small dent in her lip that six years of wearing the metal had caused. She wondered when that would all heal. 

It wasn’t enough. She unscrewed the curved bar in the middle of her nose, and pulled that one out too. Ay-ro was right all along, this was why no one wanted her for two and a half years. Rissu couldn’t recall suffering any significant dry spell before she had the piercings. She deliberated for a moment over her nose ring, and decided that there was nothing wrong with keeping that. Lots of girls had a simple nose ring. Even Gibby had one before she joined the Academy. 

Rissu decided that she looked more acceptable now. But still ugly. Incurably ugly. And with that thought she burst into tears, wailing into the void. Why did she have to be born as the person she was? 

When she looked back up at the tear-stained face in the reflection, years of loathing surfaced, and she struck the mirror with all the power she could muster. It shattered into several large, bloodstained shards, and countless smaller ones that littered the sink and floor, and Rissu stared vacantly for several minutes. She didn’t deserve Kylo. She didn’t deserve anyone. 

Only when she exhaled slowly did she realise she’d been holding her breath for a long time, and her lungs gasped for more. Her fist, still clenched, was a whole world of agony, but she didn’t care. When she looked this hideous, that was the least of her concerns. Besides, it looked worse than it was. Rissu picked out the worst of the tiny shards from the open wound and cast them aside. The human body would work the rest of it out in time, she knew that. 

So she slunk away, wound leaking steadily and leaving a sporadic dark trail in her wake and a small, shining pool on the black couch as she climbed on and nestled in. She didn’t tend to it. Maybe it would kill her. Maybe that would be better for everyone. Rissu struggled her way through life in fear of death, too scared to do the right thing. If she wasn’t so afraid of the eternal nothingness, she’d have done everyone a favour and ended it all seven years ago, or any day since, but here she was. She was a coward. And even now, as she laid her head on the cushion and went to sleep, she selfishly forced herself to carry on. 

__

*

*

Kylo Ren returned to the Finalizer much earlier than he’d projected - empty handed. At first, when they’d arrived at the abandoned base, he’d been simply dumbfounded that the First Order could’ve gotten it so wrong. He’d trusted them, and they’d led him to a wholly deserted wreck, drifting passively through the void of Mid Rim space. They searched every inch of the base and found nothing. Nobody had been here for years. Then when the reality of the situation had sunk in - that they were as far from eliminating the Jedi as ever, and that the Order had failed him so spectacularly - he’d gotten angry. So very angry. He’d arrived with forty stormtroopers and five officers, and left with only Captain Phasma. He hadn’t killed _all_ of them, some had managed to hide from his wrath, but he left the survivors there to rot. Phasma wasn’t happy about the fatalities. She never was. But he’d reminded her that there was nothing she could do, and the only reason he’d kept her alive is because she was needed alive.

When he left the Command Shuttle, Kylo was still silently fuming. Thoughts of returning to Rissu were the only thing that even remotely calmed him. She’d always had a way of making him feel calm. They didn’t talk about it, but he knew she had a lot of experience dealing with someone who had problems with anger. She knew what to say- well, more she knew what NOT to say and do to make him worse. Like an instinct developed from a young age, she knew what to do to prevent herself coming under fire.

He felt as though something was wrong as he made his way closer and closer to her apartment. The energy felt wrong. Her energy had been off for a while, growing increasingly worrisome, but now it was flat and lifeless, like stale air. He entered the code and opened the door to find his girl curled up on the couch. He removed his mask, and when he did, the tang of blood hit him like a blow to the head. He dropped to his knees beside her, noticing her standard issue workout clothing was stained with dried blood, his wide eyes following the evidence of her having come from the ‘fresher.

Kylo stood up slowly, heart racing, not wanting to leave Rissu for a moment, but curiosity got the better of him. Unsurprisingly, the shattered mirror caught his attention right away.

“Rissu…” he said with an edge of overwhelming concern in his tone. “…What did you do?”

Rissu stirred, and immediately heaved at the smell, heavy in the air. Her eyes dropped to her right hand, and she didn’t know whether to be thankful or disappointed to find the wound had scabbed over rather than bled out. She didn’t move. Kylo made his way back over to her, and only then did she actually recoil from him. He froze, her actions cut him to the core.

“Leave me, please,” she said. Her voice was as stale and lifeless as her energy. Just hearing her like that was almost too much for Kylo to bear. “You deserve better than me. Leave me alone, and leave me. Please. I want you to be with someone better.”

“You are all I want,” Kylo said with finality. Tears welled up in his eyes and began to fall down his perfect face.

She began to cry too. “I don’t want you settling for me. I don’t want you being with me because you don’t think you have a choice. Is it because I’m a Force-user? You can find another. Just… go away, please.”

Ren shook his head as though it might somehow change the reality before him, and made towards Rissu again.

“ _Get **AWAY**!_ ” she cried. She threw all her telekinetic power at her master in an effort to push him back, but he was far too strong. His power won out and he knelt, and scooped Rissu up in his arms. He held her tight.

“No Rissu… I’ll never leave you,” he said. His voice wavered as he cried. “You don’t want me to leave either, you don't mean it. You’re just really sick right now. I don’t know what’s happened but I’ll make you better. I promise I’ll make you better.”

Within his strong embrace, the girl shook her head against Kylo’s chest.

“I love you,” he said quietly.

Rissu broke again, and sobbed against her master’s body. Kylo had never felt so helpless. He didn’t know how to fix her. So he held her for a long time, and cried with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jesus. Fucking. Christ. I'm never writing this much italics again. I think I spent more time editing this than I did writing it.


	14. Save Her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still haven't seen Ep8. I know everything that happens though. I'm still writing this story exactly as I planned it.
> 
> As always, give the song below a listen if you haven't heard it. I've included these lyrics because they make me think of Rissu a lot.
> 
>  
> 
> "You can't save me!  
> You better give yourself to someone else,  
> Fadin'  
> Fallin' into my condition,  
> Faded  
> You better spend your time on somethin' else,  
> Save me!  
> But don't worry 'bout it now, better save your fuckin' self!"
> 
> \- Richie Kotzen - _You Can't Save Me_

Kylo Ren was exhausted. But as long as his girl was okay, it was worth being exhausted. Rissu would heal just fine - she’d only been in medbay for an hour or so before he’d been allowed to take her back home. He insisted she rest until the injury healed and she’d agreed to comply, but he didn’t want her returning to work until he’d found out what was making her sick again.

As the Commander arrived on the bridge, the same thought came back to him. No matter how many times he dismissed it, it always came back. Ay-ro. It _must_ be something to do with him. The timing made sense. But still, Rissu denied it. _Chemical imbalances, probably_ , was her suggestion. And he’d seen nothing really between the two that would suggest Ay-ro had ignored his master’s warning. The nickname got on her nerves though, Kylo decided he should’ve put a stop to that a long time ago.

He scanned the small groups and lone workers as he walked, until he found the woman he was looking for, huddled around a screen with five other officers and deep in conversation. He stopped maybe ten feet from them.

“Gibson!” he called out.

Six heads snapped up quickly.

“Come here now!”

Her coworkers jeered and laughed at the brunette as she broke away and approached the Commander, seemingly unafraid.

“Yes sir?” she said politely. “What do you need?”

It was impossible for Gibby to know what Kylo could be thinking with that damned helmet on. He seemed to shift uncomfortably as he ushered her further away from the others, who still listened intently.

“I need you to look after Rissu today,” he said quietly. He passed her a tiny flimsi.

Gibby snorted. She didn’t even look at the flimsi - now crumpled into a ball in her fist. “That’s it? _That’s_ what you want me to do? Commander, with all due respect we’re very busy. I need to get back to the project.”

“Another officer will be assigned to your project. Right now, Rissu needs a friend.”

“So I’m meant to abandon something important - something urgent, because Rissu needs an audience to be a whiny little bitch?”

Gibby’s coworkers positively howled, hands clapped over their mouths in shock and disbelief. Nobody talked back to Kylo Ren. And for good reason. When Gibby was rewarded with a harsh slap to the face the entire bridge fell silent. She staggered but quickly regained her composure, as though she’d been anticipating it, and still looked up into Ren’s visor as though he’d never hit her. Dozens of eyes were glued to the scene. Nobody dared to even breathe.

“Report to General Hux for disciplinary action at the end of your shift. Talking back to your superiors will not be tolerated. Insulting Rissu _will not be tolerated_. Go to her apartment as soon as possible-”

“Sir, we’re not really talking right now.”

“I don’t care. Fix it.”

Gibby huffed openly, and her coworkers stared at the exchange in awe. They knew Gibby had an unusual relationship with the Commander on account of her friendship with Rissu, but they’d never seen for themselves just how much she could get away with.

In the end, her resolve lost out to his. “Fine, sir. What do I have to do?”

“She hasn’t eaten since breakfast. Yesterday. Make sure she eats. Make sure she doesn’t hurt herself.”

Gibby’s eyes narrowed. “Will that be difficult?”

“She almost certainly will, no matter what you do. Just _try_ to stop her.”

“Right…”

She almost didn’t want to ask. “Will she…?”

“No. Don’t worry. She’ll talk about it but she won’t do anything. I’ll come and take over when I finish my duties. Now go.”

As the girl passed by her coworkers she offered them a shrug of her shoulders and an apologetic grimace, grabbed her datapad, and left as quickly as she could.

*

Gibby let herself in using the code Kylo had given her, to find Rissu sleeping on the couch. At first she lingered in the doorway and deliberated over what to do. She looked so peaceful, curled up under the fake fur throw. Still, by then it was 10:15, everyone should start their day at some point. Gibby decided that Kylo believing her to be unwell was no excuse for her to sleep in when she _should_ be working. Besides, if she waited around for Rissu to wake in her own time, the Commander might accuse her of shirking her duties.

She knelt down and pulled the fur off her friend slowly. “Hey Rissu,” she said softly. “It’s time to get up. C’mon, wake up buddy.”

The Force-user’s stormy eyes snapped open suddenly and fixed on Gibby with an unsettling intensity. Half-asleep, she surveyed the brunette with wide-eyed shock, as though she’d never seen her before in her life. Gibby froze too, waiting for some sign of recognition, and after a painful silence Rissu blinked, and stretched a little.

“Morning Gibby,” she said, her voice dull and slurred from fatigue. “What are you doing here?”

Gibby smiled grimly. “Your boyfriend made me come and make sure you’re okay.”

“That’s nice of him,” Rissu said, sitting up straight. “I’ll make you caf or something.”

She stood and made for the kitchen, where she filled the kettle and prepared two mugs without the use of her hands. Medbay had advised her to go easy while the wound was healing. “I don’t need looking after though. I can look after myself.”

“Commander Ren seems to think you do,” Gibby replied. She followed. “I’m just doing what he asked. Keeping an eye on you.”

“I don’t _need_ -”

“He really cares about you,” the brunette looked away hesitantly. “What I wouldn’t give for a guy who cared about me half as much as Commander Ren does you. So maybe it would be a good idea to not take it for granted, okay?”

“Gibby, did… is Ay-ro-”

“Gone? Yeah… sorry I didn’t tell you… we haven’t been speaking, have we?”

“I’m really sorry.”

“Are you really?”

“Of course I am! I never wanted you to get hurt! Mind me asking what happened?”

Rissu turned back to the boiled kettle and filled the mugs.

“Exactly what you said would happen,” Gibby continued. She remarked internally that Rissu didn’t seem very ‘sick’. “He lost interest after a couple of weeks. Saw him making out with that girl who works in the caf most evenings, and… I guess that was the end of that. It would’ve been nice of him to tell me.”

“Fucking scumbag,” Rissu muttered darkly.

The brunette took hold of the mug that drifted across the kitchen in her direction. “Thanks Rissu. Yeah, you’re right, he is. It’s just hard not to feel… a little hurt… with a guy like him. I’ll admit I’m going to miss the sex - never realised the Force could add a whole new level to-”

The officer grimaced as she sipped her caf. Rissu’s face fell dramatically.

“Oh gods, what is it?” she asked. “What have I done?”

“Nothing! It’s fine! It’s just… I don’t take sugar.”

“Gods… I can’t do _anything right!_ ” Rissu wailed. At once she began to cry, and turned to the wall where she banged her head violently, mercilessly, over and over.

Gibby jumped to attention. “No Rissu, don’t do that!”

She pulled the Force-user away from the wall despite her struggling. “It’s fine, no one got hurt! I’ll just make another one, _please_ don’t-”

Rissu fell limply against her friend and sobbed. That was when Gibby decided maybe Rissu might not be entirely well after all. She’d never seen her like this before. In the same beat, Gibby wondered whether the Force was capable of messing people up, or whether that was perhaps an inevitable consequence of simply being Force-sensitive. After all, she’d never met a single Force-user who was all there.

She rubbed her friend’s back soothingly, and spoke gently. “Look… I’m sorry about what I said. It wasn’t fair of me to assume… Ay-ro - he put some ideas in my head, I’m sorry. I should’ve trusted your judgement… when you said he was bad news. I spent too much time around him. Being with him, I think it showed me how hard it can get for you guys. No one has it easy here.”

“You _were_ right Gibby. I do have it easy… I can’t handle anything else. If I didn’t have Kylo… I know he’s soft on me but I dunno what I’d do without him being soft on me. I don’t know what I’d do without him.”

“Just accept that I’m sorry, will you?”

Rissu sniffled. “Yeah, okay, apology accepted.”

“And we’re good?” The brunette smiled hopefully.

“We were always good, Gibby. I’ve missed you.”

*

*

The two women were lying on the couches watching the HoloNet when Kylo Ren arrived. By then it was early evening. Both looked up from the movie when the door opened, and Rissu smiled weakly.

“Gibson. A word.” Kylo removed his helmet and set it down on the table. Gibby sat up straight and made her way over. Kylo ushered her out into the hallway and only stared down at the officer questioningly. Under that stern gaze, she seemed to shrink.

“I’m sorry sir,” she said nervously. “I failed both tasks. She tried to hurt herself on four occasions, and she didn’t eat anything. I kept offering but she didn’t want any of it.”

Kylo gave a quick snort of frustration. He looked as though he was biting back a cutting remark, or maybe the urge to hit her again.

“I’m sorry about talking back,” she continued. “I know it won’t change anything but I wanted to apologise.”

The Commander’s head tilted to the side, only a little. He studied the girl intently. “You looked after her… so I can only thank you. You’re dismissed. General Hux is waiting.”

With a quick salute, Gibby turned and disappeared around the corner at the far end of the hallway. Kylo returned to the apartment, and to Rissu.

“Hey, you,” she said in that same deadpan voice. She walked over and wrapped her arms around her master’s middle.

He returned his half of the embrace, and stroked Rissu’s hair like always. That radiance she’d always carried, it seemed to be gone. “Gibson tells me you haven’t eaten.”

“I don’t feel like eating.”

Kylo exhaled slowly. From a medical perspective Rissu had been slightly underweight since the day they met. He and the medbay staff had let it slide- with caution - when she began her training, since she seemed to be healthy and usually ate _enough_ these days, although she sometimes refused whole meals still. She couldn’t lose any more weight without raising concern.

“Isn’t there _anything_ you want?” he asked. “Anything at all?”

“I don’t feel like eating,” she repeated.

“With one call I could have fried chicken brought up from Druemer in two hours. Would you eat that?”

How Kylo had teased her for her love of fried chicken, especially the kind sold on her home planet. Her favourite of the forbidden foods. And how he’d punished her for indulging against his wishes. How fun it had been at the time. It all seemed so long ago now, Rissu thought. It was a better time, and she wished desperately she could go back to those days - she was happy then. With that thought, Rissu wept silently against Kylo’s body.

He held her tighter. “Please don’t cry. _Please_. You’ll make me cry too. Come, meditate with me.”

Kylo ushered the girl as gently as possible into her bedroom, and eased her down onto the mat in the middle of the floor. She obliged with no words and no resistance, and knelt the same way she always did. The master followed suit. As he studied Rissu’s energy, she opened her thoughts to him, and he felt them wash away as she emptied her mind. Rissu usually concentrated on her breathing when she meditated. Kylo did the same.

The minutes passed with a ringing silence in the room. On a normal day, their energies would be loud. However, today Rissu’s energy was dwindling, and Kylo was distracted. Despite her mind being empty, she was still in pain. He could feel it.

“Do you think I’ll ever be a leader?” Rissu asked suddenly. When Kylo opened his eyes, he found the girl avoiding his gaze, as though afraid of the answer.

“I will make a leader out of you,” Kylo said. “You are still young, and inexperienced. That being said, you have so many resources here to help you learn. To be taught one-to-one by General Hux himself, you and Ay-ro are some of the luckiest people in the galaxy. And you’ve been doing so well in training, don’t forget that. The ‘troopers like you a lot.”

“No one should like me. Liking me should be a crime.”

“If liking you was a crime, I would be put to death,” Kylo stated. It damn near broke his heart to hear her talk like that. “And I would die gladly for my cause. If you’re going to be a leader, you need to be kinder to _yourself_.”

Rissu finally locked eyes with him. “Ay-ro’s a better leader than me. He’s a better swordsman, too. He’s the kind of Force-user you’d _want_ as a Commander. You’re only training me up because you met me first, and now you’re stuck with me… and we’re together.”

Kylo didn’t respond right away. He seemed to be trying to find the right words. “It’s true I’ve always had you in mind, and I never considered Ay-ro for the position when he joined us. But you do have qualities he doesn’t. You care more about our ‘troopers than anyone else… maybe as much as Captain Phasma. You have empathy the likes of which Ay-ro may never know. He will make a fine General, but the First Order needs a Commander like you.”

“Kylo, what are you… staring at?”

Kylo’s gaze was fixed on Rissu’s face, eyes roving over soft pale skin, fixated on what he’d noticed the moment he came in, what he’d been waiting for the right time to discuss. He got to his knees.

“Are you ready to tell me why you’re missing two piercings?” he asked as gently as possible. “And _what_ happened to your make-up?”

Rissu shot her man that same weak smile. She rubbed at the spot where her lip ring had last been a day before, without realising she was doing it. “They’re gone forever. I honestly dunno what I was thinking, I’m sorry I made you look at them all this time. I’m sorry you had to be with someone who looked like a freak. No more of that, okay?”

Kylo didn’t smile back. His expression was dark as he towered over his apprentice almost threateningly. “You always said your piercings were as much a part of you as your very organs… why have you taken them out?”

“Things change. People change. It’s been a long time, I guess I’m just growing up and moving on.”

He leaned in, and brushed away the hair that had fallen over Rissu’s face. She looked up at him adoringly.

“And the make-up? And those _clothes?_ ”

Again, she smiled as though her master was offering her a grand compliment. It was uplifting for him to see her smile, and hear some of her energy return to her voice, yet something about it all felt so wrong. It felt to him like it was forced. “All I’ve done is ditch the eyeliner and the eyelashes. Just some mascara on there is enough. And Gibby let me borrow some of her clothes until I can go planetside and get something less… alternative… than what I have. I think I look better like this. Gonna stay like this from now on, don’t I look so much better?”

Ren said nothing at first. He’d never, ever tell her so, but he did indeed prefer her like this. He’d never change a thing about her, but if it was what she really wanted, he would happily go along with it. All the same, the sudden changes - literally overnight changes… he could not deny he was suspicious. Not once had Rissu contemplated changing _anything_ about she looked or dressed - at least, she hadn’t said anything to him.

“You have always been so beautiful,” he finally said. His rough hand grazed her cheek lovingly, and hers rested on top. She leaned into the touch. “You never needed to change anything. I only want what makes you happy. But when you tone it down like this… you’re more beautiful than even Sinclair.”

Rissu nearly fell into his arms right then and there. A twisted smirk spread across her face, the result of an internal battle. Part of her wanted to believe him, and believe she compared even remotely to Kedd. The other part knew he was only saying that to try and spare her feelings. “I bet someone told you to say that.”

His pupils were huge. “No. Right now, I just have to have the most beautiful woman in the galaxy.”

In one quick motion Kylo scooped up his apprentice and kissed her fiercely. “Because sometimes I still can’t believe she’s mine.”


	15. Some Discussion

Two weeks passed, and then some, and the wounds opened by broken glass healed quickly. The old wounds re-opened by the bounty hunter’s cutting remarks, however, did not. In the time it took the injury to heal, Kylo Ren never did learn what was making Rissu unwell again, and by that time, she was begging him to allow her to resume training. It was when Kylo realised she could stay sick for months, maybe even years that he relented - being sat around with no purpose, no routine and nothing to do might even make her worse.

Saying that, he’d left both his apprentices to their own devices while he saw to his duties that day. When he received a com informing him they were fighting in the gym - not merely sparring but actually _fighting_ , he wasn’t really sure if he was surprised or not. In his wrath, he crushed the small device in his fist and threw the remains across the corridor. With a snarl, Ren turned on his heel and headed in the opposite direction - ‘troopers threw themselves against the walls to form a gangway, and they were lucky the Force-user’s mind was elsewhere as they went virtually unnoticed. There would be hell to pay when he found his apprentices.

Kylo heard the hollering, back and forth, before he even set foot in the gym. He felt the raw hatred, overpowering, heavy on the air and the numerous small sparks of fear completely overpowered by it. The moment the door opened, the whirring and crashing of lightsabers in the now-vacated foyer was deafening. The room was bathed in red light and smoke, and the stench of burned metal. Numerous slashes in the walls still glowed dully. Kylo could see his apprentices screaming _something_ at one another, but their weapons drowned the words out entirely as Rissu swung at Ay-ro again and again, backing him towards the reception. Ay-ro blocked her every move with apparent ease while he shouted something only Rissu could hear. She, on the other hand, seemed to put all her energy both mental and physical into her assault, and her features were positively feral, her eyes alight with loathing and her forehead shining with sweat. Sparks rained endlessly down on them both.

At first the master did nothing, and watched in pure disbelief. Neither of them seemed to have noticed he was there. When Ay-ro felt himself back into the desk, he ducked as Rissu swung upwards at his neck. Her crimson blade carved a deep gash in the metal of the wall and she whirled around instantly to try again, her saber arcing down to meet his.

Ay-ro pulled away suddenly and stepped aside. Rissu lost her balance and stumbled forwards, and with a final swing of his weapon, Ay-ro knocked her saber flying from her hand. The girl visibly shook with anger. She threw out her other hand and flung Ay-ro some twenty feet across the foyer. He slammed against the wall, and despite a huge effort on his part, he stayed pinned there by her power. Blue-white electricity danced sporadically on his gloved fingertips.

“You think you’re so FUCKING WONDERFUL, DON’T YOU?” Rissu bellowed. Her left hand stayed in place, and with her right, she reached out for the saber lying across the room. She advanced on her opponent. “GO SUCK A DICK!”

“I ain’t stoopin’ ta YER LEVEL!” Ay-ro yelled back. The electricity flared, but still didn’t leave his fingertips.

Kylo decided enough was enough. “ _RISSU!_ ”

The girl jumped as she turned to face her master. Her face paled impossibly when she saw the hellfire in his eyes.

“ _PUT HIM DOWN!_ ” he roared. “ _ **NOW!**_ ”

Her left hand dropped instantly to her side, and Ay-ro fell away from the wall as Kylo advanced, weapon in hand. It burst to life as he swung violently at the girl. She reacted fast, activating her own weapon and blocking just in time to prevent being cut down the middle by her master. He snarled as he stared Rissu down for just a moment. There was no real resolve in her eyes - she knew he meant her no harm. He was breaking up the fight the only way he knew how.

Kylo eased off Rissu and turned his saber on the bounty hunter, who didn’t have to work hard to defend himself from the blow. More sparks settled on his armoured shoulders and faded out of existence.

“WHAT THE **FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?** ” Kylo bellowed.

He trailed his blade along the length of Ay-ro’s, forming an arc in the air, and powered it off. He held it so tight it was sure to break. The Commander’s shoulders rose and fell quickly with each deep breath as he locked eyes with the man.

“ **FIVE MILES! NOW!** ”

Without a word, Ay-ro deactivated his own saber, and slunk away with a sour look on his face. When Rissu powered off her weapon, the room fell uncomfortably silent. She didn’t approach, and she didn’t speak. Kylo whirled around without warning and struck Rissu’s face hard with the back of his hand. She stumbled and fell to the floor, and stayed frozen, eyes shut tight while she braced herself, waiting for him to do whatever it was he would do next. She could already feel a stab of remorse on the air though.

“I expected better from you!” The disappointment was clear in his voice. For a moment he hesitated - she made it so hard for him to be mad at her. “You know what to do. Get up before I make it ten!”

She did as she was told without hesitation, scrambling up and heading back into the gym. She brushed past Ay-ro, who had chosen to watch the scene unfold rather than serve his punishment right away. He cackled in delight. “Yeah, you tell ‘er, Mastah!” he said through a grin that consumed his whole face.

Ren’s hand shot out in an instant and closed tight around nothing. Ay-ro dropped to his knees, and both hands came to his throat and clawed aimlessly, trying and failing to pry away the intangible grip that choked him. His face twisted in agony - had he access to his airways he’d have screamed.

“DID I SAY YOU COULD TALK?” Kylo roared. “ _SHUT THE **FUCK UP** OR YOU’LL RUN FOR TWENTY!_ ”

And then he let go, leaving his apprentice wheezing and gasping for air. Ay-ro stood up quickly and followed Rissu into the gym. Now alone, Kylo roared into the empty space. His weapon flared to life again and he picked up where Rissu left off, carving and slashing at the world around him as he howled. When there was nothing left to destroy, he stormed out the foyer, leaving twisted, glowing metal and the mangled remains of several droids in his wake.

*

*

General Hux scowled when he finally opened the door to a small conference room to find the Commander sat slumped over the table, head in his hands. When his subordinates informed him that Kylo Ren had isolated himself following his latest outburst, Hux decided it wasn’t worth tracking him down - he wasn’t harming anyone or destroying anything at that moment. If anything, they’d actually get something done for a change with him out of the way. He and his comrades worked efficiently until Supreme Leader himself demanded Hux find him and encourage him out of hiding.

When he entered the room, that irritation he’d felt morphed into a sense of mild pity. He pitied any man who could only solve his problems by destroying things and shutting himself away like a petulant child. Kylo didn’t move at all when Hux settled in the chair next to him.

The General inspected him quietly for a moment. “Perhaps it’s my imagination, Ren,” he said flatly. He swiveled to face the Force-user. “But something seems to be bothering you.”

Kylo growled in annoyance, but didn’t look up.

“Do you have anything constructive to say?” he said sharply, finally turning to look Hux in the eye, flashing him a scowl of his own.

“That depends. Do you want to talk about it?”

Hux knew that Kylo confided in only two people in the whole galaxy. He was one of them, having become something of a confidant to the man a while back, and while Rissu was the other, he suspected she might’ve had something to do with this latest tantrum. That left _him_ to pick up the pieces. “It’s your apprentices, isn’t it?”

Ren exhaled slowly. He bowed his head, fingers combing through long hair. “I swear to the Maker… if I wanted to spend my time breaking up fights, I would’ve had kids instead.”

Hux’s lip curled into a smirk. “And yet here you are,” he said. “Why were they fighting?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“If they’re damaging _my ship_ , and terrorising _my crew_ , then I’m afraid it’s very much my business,” Hux responded curtly. He himself was always surprised at the amount of patience he had for this man. “ _Why were they fighting?_ ”

“I don’t _know_ …” Kylo said, his voice hardly more than a whisper. His eyes shut. “I don’t think they’ve ever seen eye to eye but now they can hardly be in a _room_ together!”

“So what are you going to do about it?”

“What _can_ I do? Rissu never gets mad at _anyone_ \- I’ve never seen her like this!”

His grip only tightened on the raven locks, and his head dropped to the table. Still he didn’t open his eyes. “She’s sick again. Really sick. And I _don’t know why_. I can’t help her.”

After a pause. “I hit her again. That’s not gonna help her get better.” His words were heavy with shame.

Hux nodded slowly. “I might be suggesting something very obvious here…” he began derisively. “But has it ever occurred to you that your new apprentice might be making Rattigan ‘sick’?”

“I’m not stupid, General,” Kylo snapped. His eyes opened to hold the redhead with a fierce stare. “Of _course_ it has. She says it’s not him. She says it’s probably chemical.”

“Rattigan _would_ say that, wouldn’t she… so eager to keep the peace…”

“You think she’s been lying to me.”

“Open your eyes, Ren. She started to decline the moment you took Talbot on, and that’s no coincidence. If you want to see both your apprentices through their training, you should keep a more careful eye on how they interact. It doesn’t have to be as hard for you as you’re making it.”

Kylo fell silent. The only sound in the room was the gentle hum of the lights above them.

“I have to wonder what was going through your mind when you took him on,” Hux continued. He leaned back in the chair, arms folded on his chest. “When you have yet to prove you can procure even _one_ fully-trained adept.”

“I… may have made a rash decision,” Kylo admitted. “In hindsight I shouldn’t have done it. But Ay-ro _is_ important - I need to learn from him. He just came into our lives at a bad time. It would’ve been better if he came along _after_ Rissu finished her training.”

“Did you think you’d struggle this much?”

“No.”

“Perhaps you should think about letting one of them go,” the General suggested. He actually sounded like he was trying to be sympathetic now. “It wouldn’t be an easy decision to make, but it’s the only fair one. Personally, I’d suggest continuing with Talbot’s training - he’s ruthless, like his master. Rattigan… she’s a polite girl, and she tries her best but you can’t deny she’s far too sweet and fragile to be an adept _or_ a Commander.”

Kylo pulled a face, and lifted his head from the table. “May I remind you that your own girlfriend is equally ‘sweet and fragile’?”

Hux’s eyes narrowed. “ _My_ girlfriend isn’t going to be fighting on the front lines of a _war_ ,” he said simply. “Rattigan doesn’t have what it takes. She wouldn’t have lasted a week in the Academy - you know that, I know that. Even she knows it.”

“I wouldn’t have taken so well to the Academy either… and _yet here I am…_ ” Kylo said, repeating Hux’s words derisively. He stood. “I will never let Rissu go. The only thing she needs to do is learn to like _herself more_ , and others less. She needs to take that pain and turn it on her enemies and not herself. Then she’ll be ruthless.”

When the Commander made his way across the small room, Hux followed. He’d done what Supreme Leader had asked, and now he could finally return to his own work. Kylo stopped suddenly in his tracks.

“Her problem is no one believes in her except me,” he said without turning back. “Not even her. But I _do_ believe in her. And I’m not giving up on her.”

*

*

When the apartment door slid open, Rissu didn’t need to look from where she lay on the couch to see who had come in - she could sense his presence. Her eyes followed, and a warm smile spread across her face when Kylo entered her line of sight. For a while, the master just stood, trying to find the right words to break the silence.

“I’m sorry I hit you.” Every time, he said he was sorry. And every time, he meant it.

“It’s okay,” Rissu replied. Every time, she meant it, and she knew he was sorry every time. She sat up and held his gaze with that same smile.

“No, it’s not okay.”

“Yes it is, just forget about it Kylo-”

“I should treat you better.”

“Come sit with me - the movie just started, I’ll rewind it.”

Rissu shifted across the couch, and Kylo obliged eventually, settling down and pulling his girl closer to lie on his chest. Strong arms wrapped around her, and she nuzzled into the rough fabric that covered her master’s body.

“I love you,” Rissu continued, listening to her master’s slow heartbeat against her ear. “So nothing you ever do will be wrong. You just have to accept that.”

“Maybe I do you wrong a lot,” Kylo replied. He wasn’t really concentrating on the movie - some horror that Rissu had seen so many times it didn’t even frighten her any more, and never scared him the first time around. “Maybe your love has blinded you to it.”

The girl shrugged her shoulders a little, but said nothing. Her eyes closed as she lay there, and he watched her. She really was beautiful. It was odd, he decided, how well she’d taken to her new look- or the lack of her old one. She seemed more confident in her own skin these days, more so than before she became unwell, even. He knew better than to think it a sign she was getting better though.

“I love you too,” Kylo said after a while. “You know that?”

“Of course I do,” Rissu said. She chuckled a little. “Sometimes I can’t believe it, but… I do know.”

They lapsed into a comfortable silence for several minutes.

“Are you ready to tell me what you and Ay-ro were fighting about?” Kylo asked, as gently as he could manage.

“We were sparring, and it just… got out of hand, I guess,” Rissu said after a moment of deliberation. “He was goading me, I don’t think he expected me to take it to heart like I did… it just… _kills_ me how I’ll never be in step with him and I took all that out on him. I’m really sorry.”

“You’re forgiven. Just try and… and control your emotions in future.”

Rissu smirked. Her eyes opened. “Look who’s talking!”

“I’m serious, Rissu. Remember what Supreme Leader said.”

There was nothing left for her to say. She hummed in acknowledgement, unable to deny that Kylo was right.

“I’m going to ask you something, and all I want is complete honesty,” Kylo said. “Whatever you say, I won’t be mad.”

“Hm?” Rissu looked up.

“I need to know the truth. Has Ay-ro been making you feel bad about yourself? Since he’s been here? Is he the reason you’re sick again?”

Rissu exhaled through her nose. He’d asked her this so many times already. “Who’s to say what the truth is when it comes to getting sick?” she said simply. It wasn’t a _lie_. “I mean… Ay-ro can be very critical, but it’s only because he wants me to improve. I make _myself_ feel bad. Don’t forget, the last time I was like this I didn’t even know Ay-ro. I didn’t even know you.”

His tone was almost fierce. “Has Ay-ro been bullying you - yes, or no?”

_He’s been improving me._

And she convinced herself of it. “No.”

Kylo nodded slowly. Whether it was true or not, her answer would never change. He held the girl closer to his own body. After his talk with General Hux, he was filled with doubt. “Okay.”

Nothing else was said as they watched the movie together, and when it ended, Kylo slid out from underneath Rissu, stood, and made for the kitchen. He would cook something for them both. Rissu would probably just pick at it, but that would be okay - there was a cupboard in the kitchen stacked high with protein bars. For a week or so they were all Rissu would eat, and though Kylo hated the thought of her living off protein bars again, he was glad she was finally eating _something_.

“I want you to go home at the end of the week,” he said.

The girl looked up over the back of the couch, curious. “Yeah?”

“Yes. Just for the weekend. Call your parents, let them know you’re coming. I’ll organise your travel. Try and take your mind off your training for a couple of days - maybe being home will make you feel a little better.”

Rissu beamed. “Thanks Kylo!” she said, jumping to her feet, navigating around the couch and wrapping her arms around her master’s neck. She pressed her lips to his.

He smiled back. By now he’d gotten used to the feeling of kissing her without the metal on her lip - he certainly kissed her enough to do so. “Make sure they look after you. Tell them I insist on it. And I’ll be a holocall away if you miss me,” he said. “Now come and pick something. You’re eating a proper dinner tonight.”

“Who’s to say what ‘proper’ is?” Rissu chided, reaching out in the direction of the kitchen with the Force, and opening the cupboard door. A single protein bar drifted into her waiting hand.


	16. Tell Him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're nearing the end of this now! I'm excited about all the shit I've been thinking about for so long and now I get to write it ^.^

Rissu typed the date, and her own name at the end of the document, and it suddenly occurred to her that this was fifteen minutes of her life she wouldn’t ever get back. And that was her fault and nobody else’s. It turned out that any time a room within the First Order was destroyed with a lightsaber, the culprit was given paperwork to go through - of course, she should’ve anticipated that after the first accident she’d had in her own apartment.

“I’ve never really thought about how much time Kylo wastes filling out these,” Rissu said to the girl behind her. Her head pulled to the side a little when Kedd tugged her hair with the curling iron.

“Yes… you’d think it’d be some sort of motivation to keep his temper under control,” the younger said simply.

Rissu hummed in acknowledgement. “Maybe he should delegate the paperwork to me or something… he’s got enough shit to do as it is.”

Kedd smirked. Rissu shut off the datapad screen and watched her friend’s progress in the reflection, tilting the device this way and that to get a better look at the loose golden curls Kedd had already fashioned for her.

“It looks really good, Kedd,” Rissu said after a while. Though the work really was stellar, her heart still sank when she surveyed it. “Shame about the hair though. If it was anybody else’s hair it might be worth spending time on.”

She tugged lightly at one of the curls, still warm. Kedd offered her a pitying smile.

“It’s really not that bad,” she said as she finished the final curl and set the iron down. Her fingers raked gently through Rissu’s hair to brush them out. “Now turn around and I’ll do your make-up. I’m going to do it the same way you had it at the wedding.”

Rissu swivelled in the chair to face her friend, who had already opened up her own make-up case. How long ago that wedding seemed now… the Harhayvan President’s daughter had been positively radiant, of course, but, as usual, it was Kedd who stole the show. Rissu remembered the smouldering energy that overwhelmed the bride, and the way she stared daggers at Kedd. She could’ve come dressed in rags and still been the most beautiful woman in the room. Kylo had told Rissu that it was _her_ that left him speechless, but he was lying, of course. The only way she could render someone speechless would be if they couldn’t quite believe how hideous a human being could be.

Even now, as Sinclair bent down to apply a primer to Rissu’s eyes, she didn’t have a shred of make-up on her own face, and she was still _impossibly_ beautiful. No girl in the whole galaxy could hope to be as beautiful as Kedd, that was common knowledge. Of course, given what planet she was born and raised on, that was why she’d ended up a sex slave. When it first became apparent to Kedd’s mother that she - fourteen at the time - would grow into an uncommonly stunning woman, she’d sold her without a second thought. The more attractive the slave, the better the price, it was just the way it had always been, and Kedd’s mother had been paid well.

And for the next four years, Kedd had been an investment. On Yannr the investments were usually treated fairly well - compared to most of the other slaves, the ones who traded hands quickly and for little money - and aside from being removed entirely from one life and being thrown straight into another, Kedd had always maintained that she had little to complain about, and her time with the slavers had actually been okay. They didn’t touch her nearly as often as she’d expected. From what she’d told Rissu it was like a boarding school - the classes taught the investments how to be the best lovers, and the best husbands and wives. How to be worth every credit their owner would shell out for them. It was here that Kedd had been taught how to do what she was doing to Rissu right now. The Force-user recalled Kedd saying she was made to work out most days of the week so she would look good, and for the first time in their friendship, the blond was unable to hold back an agonising stab of jealousy.

She hated herself for most of what she was, that went without saying, but to think this way, she knew she was scum. She shouldn’t be jealous of what Kedd had gone through, she shouldn’t wish it had been her instead. But she couldn’t deny it. Kedd had been given everything she could ever need to look the best she possibly could - and at such a young age, too, and Rissu had barely caught up. She was well into her adult life and she’d barely caught up.

She began to weep silently, trying her best to fight away the tears. She’d asked Kedd to help her look beautiful, and now she felt uglier than ever. Kedd’s face fell, and she paused her assault on the blond’s face with the make-up brush.

“C’mon Rissu, don’t cry, not right now,” Kedd said warmly, trying to pick up her usual carefree smile. “It’s going to be hard to do your eyeliner if you’re crying all over it!”

Rissu blinked a couple of times. “Sorry…”

She could feel Kedd seethe. “I’m going to make Ay-ro pay…” she muttered. The younger girl’s eyes flashed dangerously - it was no secret she liked Ay-ro far less than most on the ship did, especially after the things he’d said to _her_. “I’m going to get a hold of him, and…”

“And what? He can tear you apart without putting a hand on you.”

“Then I’ll tell Commander Ren what he’s been saying.”

“You wouldn’t. You wouldn’t wanna be in a room with Kylo if he found out about _that_ , you know what he gets like.”

“No… I wouldn’t… but you should tell him.”

“Tell him what?”

Kedd stood to full height and huffed out a frustrated sigh. “Cut the crap, Rissu, it’s getting old now! Look what he’s done to you!”

“Ay-ro’s done nothing to me.”

The younger weaved a hand into her own thick raven hair and held tight. “ _He’s a bully!_ Can’t you _see_ that? In what universe is the way he treats you _okay?_ ”

Rissu still sat there, unmoving, looking up at her friend with the most bland, uninterested look on her face. “He’s making me a better person,” she said simply. “I can only thank him for that.”

Kedd’s frustration was so thick in the air Rissu as good as breathed it. “How fucked up do you have to be to- …Rissu, he hates you… and you hate him. _He’s not bettering you_. How many times do I have to say it until you listen? Doesn’t it _bother_ you? The way he talks to you?”

Kedd _never_ swore. She was pissed off all right, Rissu thought, and yes, she felt bad about that.“Of course it bothers me! You think it doesn’t hurt to hear that kind of shit? That’s why I have to be better than I am. Then he’ll stop.”

A few measured breaths were needed before Kedd could continue. In the meantime, the sight of the blond’s eyes welling up with tears again damn near made her cry too. She gave it her best effort, every time, but she didn’t know how to help her friend and it upset her more than she let on. “The only way this will stop is if you tell your master.”

“I’m not telling him anything.”

“ _Why not?_ ”

“He’ll kill Ay-ro. I know it.”

An exasperated laugh exploded from Kedd’s chest. “And that’s a _bad thing?_ ”

“He makes Kylo happy. I can’t take that away.”

“YOU make Ren happy! He and Ay-ro might be working towards something important but nobody made him happier than you, Rissu. And don’t try and tell me that’s a bunch of crap - Armie says the same thing.”

The older fell silent, gazing down at the floor like a child receiving a punishment.

“...I worry about you,” Kedd continued, her voice much more gentle now. “In all the time you’ve been here you’ve come a long way. You’ve grown so much since you got brought to us. I can’t bear to see Ay-ro ruining all of that.”

With nothing left to say, Kedd knelt back down, and picked up the brush and bottle of foundation for a second time. She resumed where she left off. “If you don’t tell the Commander, I will,” she said after a couple of minutes passed. “And that’s a warning. I’ll bring a dozen ‘troopers to put between me and him so he can get as mad as he likes and I’ll be safe. And don’t think I’d be afraid to. You’re too important.”

Rissu sighed quietly, utterly defeated. Her eyes welled up again and fresh tears rolled down her face. “Yeah okay… let me be the one to do it,” she said. “It has to be _me_ , not you. It means more coming from me. Just… just give me a couple of days, yeah?”

Kedd beamed, and the sight cheered Rissu up the tiniest bit, as she tried to think about something else, _anything else_ than what she knew had to do.


End file.
